BoatBanter.com - Don't Hire This Man!

I hate lowering myself to being an Off Topic poster but I must say that
this is really old stuff. See the response at
http://www.crossbearer.com/resume/The_Truth.pdf .

On 09 Dec 2003 17:58:48 GMT, (Bobsprit) wrote:

RESUME=20

George W. Bush
The White House, USA
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EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE
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LAW ENFORCEMENT: I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for =
driving
under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my =
driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" =
and is
not available.
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MILITARY: I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I =
refused to
take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining =
the Air
National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
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COLLEGE: I graduated from Yale University. I was a cheerleader.
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PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
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I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
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I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1975.=20
I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The =
company=20
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
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I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took =
land
using taxpayer money.=20
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With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil =
industry
(including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected Governor of Texas.
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ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR:
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I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies,=20
making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
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During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most=20
smog-ridden city in America.
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I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of=20
billions in borrowed money.
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I set the record for the most executions by any Governor in=20
American history.
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With the help of my brother, the Governor of Florida, and my=20
father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after=20
losing by over 500,000 votes.
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ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
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I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over=20
one billion dollars per week.
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I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
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I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
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I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any =
12-month
period.
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I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the =
U.S.stock
market.
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I am the first president in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.
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I set the the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one year =
period.
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After taking-off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst =
security
failure in U.S.history.
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I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a =
WMD.
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In my State Of The Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking=
Iraq,
then blamed the lies on our British friends.=20

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. =
president.
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In my first year in office over 2-million Americans lost their jobs and =
that
trend continues every month.
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I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
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I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any =
president in
U.S. history.
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I set the record for least amount of press conferences than any =
president=20
since the advent of television.
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I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused=
to=20
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
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I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
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I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in =
duty=20
benefits for active duty troops and their families-in war time.
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I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to =
simultaneously=20
protest me in public venues (15 million people) shattering the record =
for=20
protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I've broken more international treaties than any president in U.S. =
history.
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I'm proud that the members of m cabinet are the richest of any
administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza =
Rice, has
a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
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I am the first president in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, =
pre-emptive
attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so =
against the
will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world
community.
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I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy =
in the
history of the United States government .
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I am the first president in U.S. history to have the United Nations =
remove
the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
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I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
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I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. prisoners of war" =
detainees)
and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
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I am the first president in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors during the 2002 U.S. election).
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I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.
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My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in =
U.S.
history. My political party used the Enron private jets and corporate
attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my =
election
decision. I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against
investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent =
investigating the
Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the =
biggest
corporate ripoffs in history.
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I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade =
Center
attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country=
in the
world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
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I am first president in history to have a majority of Europeans =
(71%) view
my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
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I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
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I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden =
and=20
Saddam Hussein to justice.
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RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
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All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas are now in my father's =
library,
sealed, and unavailable for public view.
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All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my =
bankrupt =20
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
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All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, =
attended
regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for=
public
review.
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Please consider my experience when voting in 2004 - Send this to every =
(USA)
voter you know.
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