Martin Baxter wrote:


I like Scotty's mutt better, (I'll bet Scott does too), 'course none of 'em
can hold a candle to my beagle.

Farmer: "Don't like dogs, they look up to you, don't like cats, they look
down on you, like pigs, they treat you as an equal"

Stop me if you've heard this one-

A guy is walking along and he sees a sign in a front yard "Dog for sale." Lying in the
sun next to the sign is a nice looking dog.

Just for laughs, the guy calls out, "Hey, doggie, are you for sale?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well, yes, I am. My owner doesn't like me for some reason,
and this isn't really my kind of place."

Taken aback, the man says, "What do you mean?"
The dog answers, "Well, obviously I'm not an ordinary dog. Originally I was owned by a
CIA operative who used my intellect and speaking ability for undercover work. I helped
stop the transfer of highly sensitive weapons technology into dangerous hands. But I got
tired of that and wanted to do something more like the Peace Corps, and help the less
fortunate in this world. My owner would have none of that, so he sold me to a college
student. That enabled me to get a degree in advanced physics, but now I'm stuck here
laying around in this yard."

The guy thinks to himself, 'with a dog like this I could make a lot of money" so he rings
the doorbell. A man answers the door and the guy says "How much for the dog?" The
homeowner replies, "I'm just about ready to give him away." The guy is surprised again
and says "Why?"

The owner replies, "He is such a liar. He never did any of that stuff."