Er-r-r-r Taddy... you'd better re-read Ganz's reply...

CM

"Flying Tadpole" wrote in message
...
| No. Ganz is doing the best. The only one intelligent enough to
| congratulate you without attempting either the questions or
| oneupmanship.
|
| FT
|
| Gilligan wrote:
|
| So far you're doing the best.
|
| #1 was a trick question, it had a real answer.
|
| Good job Mooron.
|
| "Capt. Mooron" wrote in message
| ...
|
| "Gilligan" wrote in message
| news | | ASA IQ Test
| |
| | 1. Capt Neal, Jonathan, Bobsprit and Katysails have returned from a
| glorious
| | day of sailing aboard Capt Neal's fine blue water cruiser.
| | They are offshore and must take the dinghy to get to land. Only two
of
| them
| | can fit in the dinghy at a time.
| | If Bobsprit is left alone with Jonathan, Bobsprit will bugger poor
| Jonathan.
| | If Capt Neal is left alone with Katysails, he will pinch her and she
| will
| | slap him.
| | How do the four of them get ashore to enjoy an evening at the Sneaky
| Tikki
| | without Jonathan getting buggered, Katysails pinched or Capt Neal
| slapped?
|
| A = CN & Jon row in Jon returns... Kitty and Bob row in... Kitty
| returns...
| Kitty and Jon row in..
|
|
| | 2. Captain Mooron is out at sea recovering from a bad hangover.
| | In this distance he sees a double vision of a fast approaching
tanker.
| | Moorons proper course of action is:
| |
| | a. Alternately wink each eye and watch the double vision. The tanker
| image
| | that remains in place is the true tanker. He steers clear of it.
| |
| | b. Take the Enfield and shoot at the middle of them.
| |
| | c. Take three bong hits to clear his vision.
| |
| | d. Get on the radio and let them know he doesn't use soap or wear
| underwear.
|
| I would have already had a bong and I'd be wearing my eye patch.... I
| realize there is nobody on the bridge answer "b"
|
|
| |
| | 3. Gilligan releases his flying monkeys for a flying nonstop round
trip
| to
| | Katysails to steal naughty things from her clothesline.
| | It's a 2,000 mile roundtrip and the monkeys can only fly 1,000 miles
| without
| | food. The monkeys fly at 100 mph.
| | At three hours after the monkeys are released, Gilligan releases
| swallows
| | that carry coconuts to the monkeys for replenishment.
| | What is the airspeed of a laden swallow?
|
| Are they European or African Swallows?
|
|
| | 4. What is your favorite colour?
|
| Blue
|
| |
| | 5. On Monday Bobsprit buys a C&C 32 for $16,000. On Tuesday he buys
a
| | Bugatti Classic for $8,000 and sells the radar from his boat for
$400.
| | On Wednesday Bobsprit buys an inflatable boat for $1200, uses it and
| sells
| | it on Friday for $1400. On Thursday Bobsprit buys yet another
classic
| car,
| a
| | Fiat Abarth for $16,000 and sells it the next day for $20,000.
| | On Friday Bobsprit sells the Bugatti for $12,000 and sells his Saab
for
| | $3,000.
| | During the entire week what is the most cash Bob has out of pocket?
| |
| | a. $16,000
| |
| | b. $24,000
| |
| | c. It's Suzzette's money
| |
| | d. Bobsprit is lying.
|
|
| A= d|
|
|
| | 6. Which of the following statements goes most closely with: "The
Alien
| | Girls are to beauty as"
| |
| | a. Ganz is to Gay
| |
| | b. Bobsprit is to bluster
| |
| | c. Jax is to intelligence
| |
| | d. Neal's boat is to bristol
|
| A= a.
|
| | 7. A dab of tallow place in a wooden mast crack is best suited for:
| |
| | a. Covering unsightly cracks
| |
| | b. Keeping out moisture
| |
| | c. Keeping flies off of the helmsman
| |
| | d. Upsetting the navigator
|
| A= b
|
| |
| | 8. Bobsprit eats 6000 cal a day. His basal metabolism requires 2000
cal
| a
| | day. 1/2 pound of fat is equal to 2000 stored calories.
| | Bobsprit becomes constipated for one week, but continues his regular
| diet.
| | How can Bobsprit's condition be most accurately described at the
week's
| end?
| |
| | a. He is 14 pounds heavier
| |
| | b. He is full of sh*t.
| |
| | c. He has bought three more classic cars
| |
| | d. All of the above
|
|
| A= b
|
| | 9. Captain American sails to Hawaii in 31 days. On several days he
is
| thrown
| | about the ship, severely striking his head.
| | What is the best conclusion about his trip:
| |
| | a. It has knocked some common sense into him, he now sees Bush as a
free
| | spending socialist
| |
| | b. It has knocked him senseless, he now wants McCain as president
| |
| | c. He never really left. He's been on a one month drunken bender in
a
| | Seattle flophouse.
| |
| | d. He was never right to begin with, so nothing is new.
|
|
| A= a
|
| | 10. What is the next word in this sequence: Red Leicester, Tilsit,
| | Caerphilly...
| |
| | a. Bazuki
| |
| | b. Venezuelan Beaver
| |
| | c. Bel Pease
| |
| | d. Wenslydale
|
|
| A= b
|
|
| ...... I AM CANADIAN!
|
| CM
|
|
|