Harry runs a tavern on the lake I fish.
Caters to a lot of rec.boat posters.
There are other places to get a beer, but some guys just like Harry's
Place best.
Some come in to chat, others just drink their beer and listen in.
Others come to argue.
I was in there one day sucking on a bottle of MGD when the following
took place.
Boater goes to the bar, and asks Harry for a Schlitz. Harry puts up a
coaster and glass, pops open the bottle and starts to slide it over to
the boater, then pauses.
"Hey" says Harry, "You know Bob?"
Boater says, "Bob who?"
Harry says, "Bob over the bar and kiss my ass."
Boater says, "Very funny. Not."
So the boater pours his Schlitz, forming a nice head, and wets his
upper lip.
Harry comes over to him with the change for his ten-spot, starts to
slide the change over to him, then hesitates, hand still on the money.
"Hey" says Harry, "You know Bob?"
Boater says, "Bob who?"
Harry says, "Bob over the bar and kiss my ass."
Boater says, "Hey, enough of that BS," and continues drinking his
beer.
The boater watches the White Sox/Orioles game while he finishes his
beer, then calls to Harry and says, "Harry, give me another Schlitz."
Harry pops open the bottle and starts to slide it over to the boater,
then pauses.
"Hey" says Harry, "You know Bob?"
Boater says, "Bob who?"
Harry says, "Bob over the bar and kiss my ass."
The boater is ****ed now, grabs his beer, glass, coaster and money
less a buck twenty-five for the beer.
Says to Harry "Hey, I've had enough of your crap," and comes over to
the wall table next to mine.
I hear him talking to the other boater at that table, and they're both
bitching about Harry.
Soon enough the boater wants another beer, but doesn't want to go
through the "Bob who?" BS with Harry.
The other boater tells him,
"Don't worry about it. When Harry slides your beer over, before he
can pause and ask you about Bob, you just ask him if he knows
Eileen. Then, when Harry says Eileen who? you say I lean over and YOU
kiss MY ass."
These guys were actually chuckling and rubbing their hands at this.
So the boater takes his empty bottle over to the bar and says,
"Harry, give me another Schlitz."
Harry pops open the bottle and starts to slide it over to the boater,
and before Harry can even pause to ask about Bob, the boater says
forcefully,
"Harry! Do you know Eileen?"
Harry says, "Sure. She just left with Bob."
Boater says, "Bob who?"

And so goes another night at Harry's Place.

--Vic