This is a transcript of an online conversation I had earlier
today...only a few names, addresses and minor numeric details have been
altered.

It reminded me of the old Bob and Ray komodo dragon routine.




This is an automated email sent from Dell Chat. The following
information is a log of your session. Please save the log for your records.


Time Details
08/21/2008 07:30:36AM Session Started with Agent (Dell Online Agent)
08/21/2008 07:30:39AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for
contacting Dell Technical Support. My name is XXXXXXXX and my rep ID
number is XXXXXX. How may I assist you today?"
08/21/2008 07:30:47AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Hi Harry."
08/21/2008 07:30:51AM harry krause: "aha!"
08/21/2008 07:31:07AM harry krause: "I have one of my nephew’s
computers here and I need a home tech support visit"
08/21/2008 07:31:21AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "I will personally
attend to your matter and I assure you that I will do my best to provide
you quality service."
08/21/2008 07:31:51AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Please tell why do
you need the technician visit at home?"
08/21/2008 07:32:14AM harry krause: "thanks. the modem is not working.
when I finally opened up the back to see if it was hardware, I
discovered that one of the tiny little snap on connector terminals on a
wire that connects the motherboard to the modem card was missing and the
wire could not connect to the modem."
08/21/2008 07:32:37AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:32:41AM harry krause: "the connector terminal is so small
you can barely see it"
08/21/2008 07:32:50AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:33:07AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "As per the records,
you have an Inspiron 9400/E1705 with Windows Vista operating system on it."
08/21/2008 07:33:13AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Am I correct?"
08/21/2008 07:33:18AM harry krause: "yes"
08/21/2008 07:33:27AM harry krause: "you need tag or the other number?"
08/21/2008 07:33:30AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for
verifying the information."
08/21/2008 07:33:44AM harry krause: "wait...nephew has two dell laptops."
08/21/2008 07:34:06AM harry : "I have no idea what the model number of
this one is"
08/21/2008 07:34:19AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:34:51AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The service tag which
you gave is XXXXXXX, is this service tag on the system?"
08/21/2008 07:34:59AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The System Service
Tag is a unique five or seven digit alphanumeric (letters and numbers)
code, which is located at the bottom of the Inspirion system White Bar
coded sticker(label)."
08/21/2008 07:35:00AM harry : "this one is the older one. yes...that is
the tag number."
08/21/2008 07:35:10AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay. Thank you for
the information."
08/21/2008 07:35:18AM harry : "I got the tag off the bottom of the
"broken" computer"
08/21/2008 07:35:26AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:35:45AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Harry, are you
referring to the connector on the motherboard or the modem?"
08/21/2008 07:36:12AM harry : "it is the connector on one of two wires
that come off the motherboard and connect to the modem. There are two
such wires."
08/21/2008 07:36:24AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:37:14AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "This all occurred
while you were trying to check for the issue on the system, am I correct?"
08/21/2008 07:37:55AM harry : "yes...I could not get the modem to work
for my nephew...and finally I thought I would see if the modem was
plugged in properly...when I opened the little panel on the back, I saw
the loose wire."
08/21/2008 07:38:00AM harry : "with no connector."
08/21/2008 07:38:11AM harry : "the other little wire was connected
properly"
08/21/2008 07:38:19AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:39:30AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "May I place this
session on hold for 2-3 minutes while I research my resources for the
best possible solution?"
08/21/2008 07:39:38AM harry : "certainly."
08/21/2008 07:40:24AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for staying
online. I really appreciate your patience."
08/21/2008 07:40:44AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "I have checked the
details and the modem on this system is integrated."
08/21/2008 07:41:30AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "So, please tell which
card are you referring to?"
08/21/2008 07:42:13AM harry : "it is the one that says modem on it.
conexant rd02-e110"
08/21/2008 07:42:26AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:42:41AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "I can give you the
link for the manuals and you can reset the connector. The technicians
are only sent when the parts need to be replaced."
08/21/2008 07:42:56AM harry : "uh...you are not reading what I have
typed to you."
08/21/2008 07:43:08AM harry : "the terminal connector on the wire is
missing."
08/21/2008 07:43:17AM harry : "plugging in the connector ain't gonna do
it."
08/21/2008 07:43:18AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "I read what you sent."
08/21/2008 07:43:43AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The wire from the
motherboard is missing so we need to replace the motherboard as a whole."
08/21/2008 07:43:48AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "As this fine with you?"
08/21/2008 07:43:53AM harry : "well, then..."
08/21/2008 07:44:17AM harry : "the wire is there...the little bitty
connector at the end of the wire that connects to the modem is missing."
08/21/2008 07:44:35AM harry : "hey...do whatever you have to do to get
it working!"
08/21/2008 07:45:52AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:45:59AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for the
understanding."
08/21/2008 07:47:28AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Harry, are you using
a separate modem card on the system?"
08/21/2008 07:48:10AM harry : "I have a little bitty modem that came
out of the computer. I gave you the number. I do not use the computer
myself. It is my nephew's"
08/21/2008 07:48:21AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:48:38AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Is it in form of a card?"
08/21/2008 07:48:54AM harry : "it is a little card, about the size of
two postage stamps"
08/21/2008 07:49:03AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:49:38AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Well, I have checked
the order details and Dell did not ship the modem card on this system
and you installed it on your own."
08/21/2008 07:50:03AM harry : "I have no idea what you are talking
about here."
08/21/2008 07:50:15AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The modem is
integrated on this system, so please contact the manufacturer from where
you purchased the modem card."
08/21/2008 07:50:36AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "I will give the link
for the modem card where you install it."
08/21/2008 07:50:36AM harry : "We didn't purchase any modem card."
08/21/2008 07:50:43AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The link is:"
08/21/2008 07:50:49AM harry : "whoa"
08/21/2008 07:50:55AM harry : "stop"
08/21/2008 07:51:10AM Agent (Dell Online Agent):
"http://support.dell.com/support/edocs/systems/ins9400/en/om/cards.htm#wp1053462"
08/21/2008 07:51:11AM harry : "there are two wires loose in that little
panel box on the back of the computer."
08/21/2008 07:51:36AM harry : "one of the wires is missing its
terminal. These are dell installed wires. one needs a terminal. It is a
very unusual and tiny terminal."
08/21/2008 07:51:48AM harry : "no one installed wires"
08/21/2008 07:52:03AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay."
08/21/2008 07:52:21AM harry : "I need someone to come out and either
attach a new terminal connector or replace the wire."
08/21/2008 07:52:31AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "These wires are from
the motherboard and the issue is not with the modem card."
08/21/2008 07:52:38AM harry : "yes."
08/21/2008 07:52:47AM harry : "they come from the motherboard."
08/21/2008 07:53:13AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "So, we will replace
the motherboard as there are no discrete parts for the wires or the
connectors."
08/21/2008 07:53:22AM harry : "whatever."
08/21/2008 07:53:28AM harry : "when can you schedule that"
08/21/2008 07:53:29AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Could you confirm the
address as in the records and the Shipping address also where you want
the part to be shipped?"
08/21/2008 07:54:05AM harry : "I have the computer here. The owner, my
nephew, is in another state. I can give you my address and his current
address...but I have the computer"
08/21/2008 07:54:19AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Okay, sure."
08/21/2008 07:54:37AM harry : “address deleted.”
08/21/2008 07:55:05AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for
verifying the information."
08/21/2008 07:55:17AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Could you confirm the
address or the name on the account which you gave at the time of purchase?"
08/21/2008 07:56:13AM harry : "Well, he has moved since then. He was in
XXXXX, but he moved to YYYYYYY. I don’t remember his old address."
08/21/2008 07:56:19AM harry : "his name is XXXXXXXXX"
08/21/2008 07:56:31AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for the
information."
08/21/2008 07:56:48AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Please provide the
zip code for the city for the confirmation."
08/21/2008 07:56:59AM harry : "for what city?"
08/21/2008 07:57:21AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The city that was
given at the time of system purchase."
08/21/2008 07:57:29AM harry : "i have no idea. I told you, he moved."
08/21/2008 07:57:49AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Yes, I understand that."
08/21/2008 07:58:13AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "However, we need to
confirm the details so that we can send you the parts."
08/21/2008 07:58:27AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Please confirm the
complete name then."
08/21/2008 07:58:38AM harry : "XXXXXXXX"
08/21/2008 07:58:39AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "As the information
provided by you does not match with the information in our database."
08/21/2008 07:58:42AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for
verifying the information."
08/21/2008 07:58:54AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "The service
technician would contact you in 2 business days and fix up an
appointment. We will ship the parts overnight to the service vendor.
Once they have received the parts they will call you to schedule an
appointment to come out and replace the part"
s for you.
08/21/2008 07:59:05AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "May I place this
session on hold for 2-3 minutes while I place the request for you?"
08/21/2008 07:59:08AM harry : "great."
08/21/2008 07:59:15AM harry : "thanks...and I will get a confirm number?"
08/21/2008 08:00:32AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Yes, there will be a
confirmation number."
08/21/2008 08:00:49AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Thank you for staying
online. I really appreciate your patience."
08/21/2008 08:01:12AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "I have created the
dispatch. Please make a note of your dispatch number. The dispatch
number # is XXXXXXXXXX."
08/21/2008 08:01:15AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Is there anything
else regarding your Dell system that you need help with?"
08/21/2008 08:01:28AM harry : "nope. thanks for asking."
08/21/2008 08:01:39AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "You are most welcome."
08/21/2008 08:01:42AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "Are you satisfied
with the level of service provided to you on this interaction?"
08/21/2008 08:02:03AM harry : "yes, thanks...have a nice day."
08/21/2008 08:02:43AM Agent (Dell Online Agent): "You are most welcome."
08/21/2008 08:02:43AM Session Ended

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