Which shouldn't bother anyone, 'cause it looks like Hillary's going to lose
anyway.

Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill, I
have a great idea! I know how we can win back middle America and
secure my presidential victory in 2008."

"Great, but how do you propose we go about that," asked Bill?

"Well," Hillary responded, "we'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get
some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear and then
we'll stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador."

"When we look the part we'll go to a nice old country bar in middle
America, and we'll show them that we really enjoy the Countryside and
show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there".

A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at
heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually
they arrived at just the place they were looking for.

With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They stepped up to the bar,the
Bartender took a step back and said, " aren't you Bill and Hillary
Clinton ?"

Hillary answered, "yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here.
We were just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take
in some local color."

Then they ordered a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed
to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who
would listen.

All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer
comes in. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked
underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door. A few
moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog,
lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and then left
the bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers
came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the
bartender over. "Tell me" said Hillary, "why did all those old farmers
come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of
old custom?"

"Good Lord no," said the bartender. "Its just that someone has told
them that there was a Labrador sittin' in the bar here with two assholes!."

--
John H

"All decisions are the result of binary thinking."

On Thu, 28 Feb 2008 10:17:52 -0800 (PST), wrote:

snipped

"GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Good one! See, you do have a sense of humor. All these personal attacks
aren't the least bit necessary.

(Mine was better!)
--
John H

"All decisions are the result of binary thinking."

I won't start with the old "Bazonka" jokes.

wrote:

On Feb 28, 11:56 am, John H. wrote:

Which shouldn't bother anyone, 'cause it looks like Hillary's going to lose
anyway.

Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill, I
have a great idea! I know how we can win back middle America and
secure my presidential victory in 2008."

"Great, but how do you propose we go about that," asked Bill?

"Well," Hillary responded, "we'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get
some cheezy clothes and shoes like most middle Americans wear and then
we'll stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador."

"When we look the part we'll go to a nice old country bar in middle
America, and we'll show them that we really enjoy the Countryside and
show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there".

A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at
heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually
they arrived at just the place they were looking for.

With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They stepped up to the bar,the
Bartender took a step back and said, " aren't you Bill and Hillary
Clinton ?"

Hillary answered, "yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here.
We were just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take
in some local color."

Then they ordered a couple of cocktails from the bartender and proceed
to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who
would listen.

All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer
comes in. He walked up to the Labrador, lifted its tail and looked
underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walked out the door. A few
moments later, in came another old farmer. He walked up to the dog,
lifted its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head and then left
the bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers
came in, lifted the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled.

Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the
bartender over. "Tell me" said Hillary, "why did all those old farmers
come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of
old custom?"

"Good Lord no," said the bartender. "Its just that someone has told
them that there was a Labrador sittin' in the bar here with two assholes!."

--
John H

"All decisions are the result of binary thinking."


In the light of all the criticism that George Bush is an idiot, the
Republicans decide to hold a "George Bush Is Not Stupid" convention.
Eighty thousand Republicans meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium.
Trent Lott says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that
George Bush is not stupid. So ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce
President George Bush."

After the cheers die down. Lott says "Mr. President, we're going to
prove to the world once and for all that you are not stupid. So tell
us, what is 15 plus 15?"

Bush, after scrunching up his face and concentrating real hard for a
moment, declares, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then the 80,000
Republicans start cheering, "Give Bush another chance! Give Bush
another chance!"

Trent Lott says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting
80,000 of you in one place, I guess we can do that." So he asks, "What
is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds of chin-rubbing and grimacing, Bush meekly
asks "Ninety?"

Trent Lott is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected
sigh -- everyone is disheartened.

But then Bush starts pouting, and suddenly the 80,000 Republicans
begin to yell and wave their hands, shouting again "Give Bush another
chance! Give Bush another chance!"

Lott, unsure whether he's doing more harm than good, eventually says,
"Ok! Ok! Just one more chance -- What is 2 plus 2?"

Bush looks down, counts on his fingers, and after a whole minute,
proudly announces "Four."

A moment of total silence, then an electric charge surges through the
stadium as pandemonium breaks out.

All 80,000 Republicans jump to their feet.

These GOP partisans start to wave their arms, stomp their feet and
create a deafening roar:

"GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE BUSH ANOTHER CHANCE!"

Several years ago, a travelling salesman went into a bar near here.
While he's drinking his beer, the news comes on the bar tv, with
something Clinton had done that day.

"That Bill Clinton," said the salesman, "he's about the biggest horse's
ass I've ever seen."

A cowboy at the end of the bar finishes his beer, walks over and POW!
knocks the salesman flat on his back, and walks out.

The salesman gets up, shakes his head, and climbs back on his barstool.

Pretty soon, there's a news article about the First Lady.

"That Hillary Clinton, she's as big a horse's ass as her husband."

Cowboy from the other end of the bar finishes his beer, knocks the
salesman flat, and walks out.

The salesman gets up again, dusts himself off, and turns to the
bartender: "Man, I didn't realize it, but I must be in Clinton country."

"Nope", says the bartender, "horse country".

DT

On Feb 28, 6:14*pm, Tim wrote:
I won't start with the old "Bazonka" jokes.

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a
light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions
are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are
delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served
honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do
you hate freedom?