and he looked the proper pirate, he did.

Wtih a silk kerchief knotted on his sunburned head, a black leather
eyepatch, a gleaming silver earring and a parrot on his shoulder.

He walked a bit peculiar, as it were, and it weren't solely the
business of his wooden leg. A large ships wheel protruded from his
fly, makin his every step a general rollick.

He comes alongside the bar, heaves to, and signals the bar keep.

"Rum, matey. And a dollop of beer for me bird."

"Aye, Guvner. But if you don't mind me arskin, do you know you've got
a ships wheel hanging out yer fly?"

"Aaargh, Matey, that I do. And let me tell you, it's drivin me nuts."