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Shame and debasement
These days I don't normally sail with my wife cuz she drives me nuts
when she does. Asks too dang many questions I have answered many times before and I long ago lost my patience for teaching her and I figger she outa just figure it out for herself, if she is really interested. With her around I cant relax and concentrate on sailing. BUT, I decided that we ought to spend more time together so I convinced her to go out for an hour or so..........big mistake. I was a nice chilly day here in N. Fl with the wind outa the north, unusual but nice. We had our 10 yr old daughter aboard and I motored out and turned to go south out the ½ mile long channel. Put up the jib cranked the diesel up all the way to blow out the carbon and got out in a hurry. Put up the main and went off on a course of 140 with engine turning over the charge the batteries. After about 15 minutes, the engine slowly died. No problem, it'll probably crank when we need it and even if it doesn't, we can always tack down the channel, I've done it before (except not on a falling tide......). After some easy sailing in nearly 18 kts with reefed main , decided to go in as it was getting chilly. Engine wouldn't start. Couldn't get any course N of 270 going west toward the channel marker tripod, CRAP, turned to NE and went a long way into the shallows till the tripod was 240 from us and then turned back to it. Wind seemed to be out of 340 so I figgered we'd have just a little trouble but not too much going down the N-S channel. Went past the channel entrance tripod tower going west and then turned back toward it. Was really surprised at how little northing we could get and only ended up about 150' north of the tripod when I had to tack back west so I wouldn't go too far into the shallows. My wife was running the Jib and I was steering and she somehow didn't get the jib to tack so we had to jibe, no problem except we lost some ground. At the other side, tacked again and went back east. Tacking on the east side needed really good control of the jib and she just couldn't get the hang of it and we had to jibe again but I managed to make up for it in gusts making more northing. On the next tack she missed again so we traded places. Unfortunately, she just couldn't get the hang of it and I kept finding her with the tiller hard over for some reason so I took over steering again. On the next tack, she missed again and I actually had to give up about 100' to avoid hitting a marker. By this time I was ****ed and demanded that she just sit back and allow me to get us in. She keeps talking about getting help on the radio but I kept telling her we didn't need any help cuz we were not in any trouble and she keeps goin on about it making me nutso. Finally, I get into the groove, controlling the tacks and all and making real progress. On one tack, the wind picks up and I manage to get a good angle north, so much so that I decide to go a little more past the side of the channel than usual, after all, even if we go aground, the N wind will push us off............ Well, I go aground, no problem I thought, I turn the tiller to make us jibe and let out all the RF jib to push her head around and SHOCK, she doesn't move. DANG, it didn't feel as if we went hard aground but the wind wouldn't push us off no matter what. Suddenly wife is demanding I call for help. I say "Hell NO" we are not in trouble and I'm getting us off. OK, I try to start the engine again, a few sputters but then nothing. CRAP, she demands that we "Call somebody" so I ask, "Call ****ing who" and she says "The Marine Patrol or the Coast Guard" to which I reply that we are in NO danger at all and in fact are only ½ mile from shore in water so shallow I can walk to shore if necessary. I commence to trying to rock us off, no luck. She wants me to call somebody we know on shore but I tell her I don't have their phone numbers and I'd prefer to wait for the tide. She says, "How will we get in then, the same thing will happen". I tell her that by tomorrow the wind will be outa the south and we can then sail most of the way in. "TOMORROW, It is COLD, WE HAVE ONLY ONE BLANKET and no food and I have to get to work in the morning and Katie has o go to school and...." Katie replies "I want to stay, I want to stay". I say, "Dammit, we have three parkas, a blanket, several sheets and even some apples and snack stuff, no problem". "We need to get home" she says. "AAAAAAUGH, OK, I'll try the radio", so I try to call the local coast guard auxiliary that I know will not respond, "See, no answer". This doesn't stop her, she just ****ed off and threatens to use her cell phone to get our 16 yr old son at home to call for help. So, I get browbeaten into calling TowBoat US and get them ok. They tell us what it'll cost/hr and I tell em we'll call back if we really need help. Then, we see the only other boat on the water go by ¼ mile away, it is SeaTow so she convinces me to call them. Thank You God, they are responding to a genuine call for help and cannot get to us. I go below and try to bleed the engine, an easy thing to do if she would get off my back about my tools being all over the cabin. I have an electric fuel pump because it makes bleeding the engine a breeze but I get NO fuel out the bleed ports, "HUH"? I think back to years ago when the electric pump diaphragm had gone bad at the dock, no amount of pumping would get fuel to the fuel filter, CRAP, its happened again, bad timing too. I go forward to try to push off with the very very long extendable boat hook, nothing at all, we are hard aground. SO, I decide to make the best of it and get out my Delta anchor and manage to throw it way out so don't go too far if we float off. Suddenly "GROAN", I see SeaTow coming down the channel toward us, they managed to get the other boat out of distress. If I tell them to leave I'll never hear the end of it so I humbly tie their tow rope to our cleat and they pull us into the channel bumping the bottom a lot on the way, clearly the tide has really gone out. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even the astonishing cost of $480 didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. 20 YEARS OF SAILING AND I HAVE NEVER NEEDED TO BE TOWED IN. Shame, shame, shame. I've been hard aground before with my friends, no problem, just wait for the tide and party till then. If I was with them or myself and able to be relaxed about my tools being all over I'd have just rigged up a gravity feed for the engine but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I had to listen to so much crap I finally gave in to such debasement. I love my wife but will not sail with her again. Yes, I'd still be aground with my 10 yr old daughter with me but we'd have fun fishing and I'd get off in the morn. |
Shame and debasement
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Shame and debasement
Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. David OHara |
Shame and debasement
wrote in message oups.com... Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. David OHara David, I like your second post much better, but can you think of any other things you should have done differently? |
Shame and debasement
On 19 Nov 2006 20:53:52 -0800, "
wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. Well, you had me convinced you were right the first time, and now you've convinced me again. Have you considered sales? I do like the second convincing more. --Vic |
Shame and debasement
Vic Smith wrote: On 19 Nov 2006 20:53:52 -0800, " wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. Well, you had me convinced you were right the first time, and now you've convinced me again. Have you considered sales? I do like the second convincing more. --Vic I think I have gotten too confident in problem solving without taking into account the human dimension. This is probably why I enjoy single handed sailing. The solution would really have been to wait. There was no danger although it is supposed to hit 30 degrees tonight. With two cell phones, nobody would have to worry about us. Even if the wind direcion did not change and I was unable to rig a fuel feed. SOMEBODY would be coming down that channel on Monday. I sulked the entire night after it happened cuz it really hurt my pride. I probably should go make amends. See ya. |
Shame and debasement
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Shame and debasement
Frogwatch wrote:
Vic Smith wrote: On 19 Nov 2006 20:53:52 -0800, " wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. Well, you had me convinced you were right the first time, and now you've convinced me again. Have you considered sales? I do like the second convincing more. --Vic I think I have gotten too confident in problem solving without taking into account the human dimension. This is probably why I enjoy single handed sailing. The solution would really have been to wait. There was no danger although it is supposed to hit 30 degrees tonight. With two cell phones, nobody would have to worry about us. Even if the wind direcion did not change and I was unable to rig a fuel feed. SOMEBODY would be coming down that channel on Monday. I sulked the entire night after it happened cuz it really hurt my pride. I probably should go make amends. See ya. Probably? Better come with flowers in ahdn...on your knees...bowed head...groveling... |
Shame and debasement
" wrote in
ups.com: I have to get to work in the morning and Katie has o go to school and.... Oh, how I hate to go to sea with anyone who "needs to be somewhere at this time"..... We got becalmed in the Gulfstreamer Race from Daytona Beach to Charleston a couple years back. The sea was as flat as a table just out of the Stream and the air was so still a hanky wouldn't wiggle. We sat there 6 hours, just like everyone else. Cap'n Geoffrey says to me, "What do you think?" I reply, "Well, the wind is BOUND to come up by next weekend or so. Wake me up if it freshens and I'll take the first watch.", as I head off to my beloved V-berth for a nice nap. (I always get sleepy after gorging on $480 in the finest gourmet food that was "left over" from shopping in Daytona's biggest Publix Deli. The boat was packed with enough food and booze to make Amel's factory pier in France with 12 passengers aboard.) Less than 2 hours later, I'm awakened by the Perkins diesel I had lovingly had fixed in Daytona Marina. I drag myself out and asked, "What's going on?" The other guys on the race crew had gotten antsy about getting home so we motored home 90 miles on the Perkins, getting in about midnight. I was too tired to go home. I crawled back in my beloved V-berth until 10AM Monday morning....(yawn)....refreshed. I hauled $200 in gourmet food home with my dirty clothes. No sense it going to waste (or waist), right? With our huge race handicap "Lionheart" has, we can arrive home a day after the race ends and still place in the top 5.....(c; We shoulda waited crankin' the Perkins..... Just because you can't see any other racers, doesn't mean we're gonna be "last", again....necessarily....until the math is complete. Larry -- Halloween candy sure has dropped in price, lately! |
Shame and debasement
Don White wrote in news:Pz98h.22503$cz.343025
@ursa-nb00s0.nbnet.nb.ca: Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Charleston, too. Just ask and most anyone in a small boat will help tow you off. I used to do it in my Sea Rayder jetboat...(c; Larry -- Halloween candy sure has dropped in price, lately! |
Shame and debasement
"Frogwatch" wrote in news:1164000104.521584.101920
@e3g2000cwe.googlegroups.com: I probably should go make amends. No problem. The mall diamond stores open at 9AM, right on time.... Larry -- Halloween candy sure has dropped in price, lately! |
Shame and debasement
As I read your original post, I was thinking "What a jerk this guy is.
It's a wonder he's still married." But I gotta admit, I really enjoyed reading it. |
Shame and debasement
"KLC Lewis" wrote in message
... wrote in message oups.com... Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. David OHara David, I like your second post much better, but can you think of any other things you should have done differently? You should have just had your wife taxied to shore. She's wasn't wrong by not wanting unplanned adventure, but you weren't wrong in wanting to handle the problem without dropping half a grand. If she doesn't mind time away, I'd suggest you do your sailing alone or with people who understand that challenge is part of the deal. Scout |
Shame and debasement
wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. David OHara Good re-thinking David. First off, your engine problem was your fault, second, you ran aground. 3rd, you should have jumped in and swam out with the anchor, dove down and planted it deep so you could kedge yourself off. 4th at the time you ran aground the tide was changing and you would have been free in an hour or two, you could have given your daughter a fishing pole and headed below with your wife to pass the time. 5th you are right, getting fustrated at the wife for messing up the tacks was un called for, I'd kept sailing in circles all night until she got it right, laughing and slamming down a shot of jeagermiester every time she got it wrong, Remeber the only difference for adversity and adventure is attitude. Joe |
Shame and debasement
"KLC Lewis" wrote in message ... I like your second post much better, but can you think of any other things you should have done differently? When he wrote about throwing the anchor, I thought he was going to try to kedge off. SBV |
Shame and debasement
"katy" wrote in message ... wrote: Don White wrote: David OHara I'm really glad you posted this and htat I read it before ripping you a new one that would have been the size of the GrandCanyon... When I was younger, I blamed everything on my wife, too. But now I'm more mature, or is it 'trained'. Scotty |
Shame and debasement
"Scotty" wrote in message . .. "KLC Lewis" wrote in message ... I like your second post much better, but can you think of any other things you should have done differently? When he wrote about throwing the anchor, I thought he was going to try to kedge off. SBV It's kinda funny, but no one has mentioned what started all of this: the engine. If one relies upon their engine to be able to get back home or to get out of trouble, having it "slowly stop running" should be a matter of concern. I believe that the first order of business shouldn't have been continuing the sail, but in finding out why the engine died, and fixing it. |
Shame and debasement
"Scotty" wrote in message ... "KLC Lewis" wrote in message et... It's kinda funny, but no one has mentioned what started all of this: the engine. If one relies upon their engine to be able to get back home or to get out of trouble, having it "slowly stop running" should be a matter of concern. I believe that the first order of business shouldn't have been continuing the sail, but in finding out why the engine died, and fixing it. He did mention the fuel pump. I believe his wife failed to replace it the night before, even though she knew it was going to die the next day. Scotty Oops. My bad. |
Shame and debasement
"KLC Lewis" wrote in message et... "Scotty" wrote in message . .. "KLC Lewis" wrote in message ... I like your second post much better, but can you think of any other things you should have done differently? When he wrote about throwing the anchor, I thought he was going to try to kedge off. SBV It's kinda funny, but no one has mentioned what started all of this: the engine. If one relies upon their engine to be able to get back home or to get out of trouble, having it "slowly stop running" should be a matter of concern. I believe that the first order of business shouldn't have been continuing the sail, but in finding out why the engine died, and fixing it. He did mention the fuel pump. I believe his wife failed to replace it the night before, even though she knew it was going to die the next day. Scotty |
Shame and debasement
Scotty wrote:
"katy" wrote in message ... wrote: Don White wrote: David OHara I'm really glad you posted this and htat I read it before ripping you a new one that would have been the size of the GrandCanyon... When I was younger, I blamed everything on my wife, too. But now I'm more mature, or is it 'trained'. Scotty ....trained....you'll do almost anything for a Ritz cracker with squirty cheese on it... |
Shame and debasement
I always have trouble coming up with appropriate post titles. Next time, can I ask you?
It isn't often realized just what a vital safety device a towed dinghy is in situations like this. Even in Maine's high and thus fast falling, tides, I've jumped in the dinghy, hooked the anchor over the transom, rowed it out, and been back on the boat fast enough to pull off with the anchor rode led to a jib halyard winch before the tide fell enough to stick fast. You really have to jump though when working against a 12 foot tide. If this doesn't work, put a block on the anchor line and run it up the mast with a halyard. Winching the anchor line will then heel the boat powerfully, reducing the draft as you drag the boat off. -- Roger Long |
Shame and debasement
... I believe that the first order of business
shouldn't have been continuing the sail, but in finding out why the engine died, and fixing it. Nah, the first order of business is always to keep sailing. Until you run out of beer. I don't know this firsthand, but i believe it worls the same with fishing. "Scotty" wrote He did mention the fuel pump. I believe his wife failed to replace it the night before, even though she knew it was going to die the next day. KLC Lewis wrote: Oops. My bad. Yeah really. For example, my wife woke up early this morning and got right to work on my fuel pump. I woke up almost immediately and said, "What are you doing that for, is it going to die on us?" and she said "It damn well better not!" DSK |
Shame and debasement
Leave the wife home. Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the
problem, she can only make matters worse. Just think of what might have happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent catastrophe. The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be when you are out sailing the world - without her. I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding. Why aren't women expected to understand men? Why is it assumed that women are so handicapped? Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism? Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family matters. Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like. In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won. It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. |
Shame and debasement
wrote:
Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. David OHara Check out this cartoon. I scanned it from a local newspaper. Seem familiar?? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...CreamPuff2.jpg |
Shame and debasement
Frogwatch wrote:
Vic Smith wrote: On 19 Nov 2006 20:53:52 -0800, " wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. Well, you had me convinced you were right the first time, and now you've convinced me again. Have you considered sales? I do like the second convincing more. --Vic I think I have gotten too confident in problem solving without taking into account the human dimension. This is probably why I enjoy single handed sailing. The solution would really have been to wait. There was no danger although it is supposed to hit 30 degrees tonight. With two cell phones, nobody would have to worry about us. Even if the wind direcion did not change and I was unable to rig a fuel feed. SOMEBODY would be coming down that channel on Monday. I sulked the entire night after it happened cuz it really hurt my pride. I probably should go make amends. See ya. Depends on the tides also. If you have a keel boat and the tides fall three or more feet, you could have had a very uncomfortable night. |
Shame and debasement
Larry wrote:
"Frogwatch" wrote in news:1164000104.521584.101920 @e3g2000cwe.googlegroups.com: I probably should go make amends. No problem. The mall diamond stores open at 9AM, right on time.... Larry That could be a dangerous thing to do. The wife may expect similar offerings everytime he's wrong. |
Shame and debasement
Gilligan wrote:
snip... It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. Yeah... he'd be squealing like a school girl! |
Shame and debasement
On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 15:20:45 GMT, Don White
wrote: wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. David OHara Check out this cartoon. I scanned it from a local newspaper. Seem familiar?? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v2...CreamPuff2.jpg Thanks, I (we) needed that! Frank |
Shame and debasement
What would OJ do in a case like this ???
He would kill the wife, and the boyfriend... cut them up. Then, claim he was a victim of racial profiling ,, get a stupid black jury to let him off and then ;;; write a book telling everyone how he would have done it if he did it. ======== So, you need to ax the wife, claim that she jumped overboard, get a jury of male sailors with bothersome wives, and then write a book about how you would have pushed your wife overboard if you did push her overboard. ======================== Really quite simple. ================================= wrote in message ups.com... These days I don't normally sail with my wife cuz she drives me nuts when she does. Asks too dang many questions I have answered many times before and I long ago lost my patience for teaching her and I figger she outa just figure it out for herself, if she is really interested. With her around I cant relax and concentrate on sailing. BUT, I decided that we ought to spend more time together so I convinced her to go out for an hour or so..........big mistake. I was a nice chilly day here in N. Fl with the wind outa the north, unusual but nice. We had our 10 yr old daughter aboard and I motored out and turned to go south out the ½ mile long channel. Put up the jib cranked the diesel up all the way to blow out the carbon and got out in a hurry. Put up the main and went off on a course of 140 with engine turning over the charge the batteries. After about 15 minutes, the engine slowly died. No problem, it'll probably crank when we need it and even if it doesn't, we can always tack down the channel, I've done it before (except not on a falling tide......). After some easy sailing in nearly 18 kts with reefed main , decided to go in as it was getting chilly. Engine wouldn't start. Couldn't get any course N of 270 going west toward the channel marker tripod, CRAP, turned to NE and went a long way into the shallows till the tripod was 240 from us and then turned back to it. Wind seemed to be out of 340 so I figgered we'd have just a little trouble but not too much going down the N-S channel. Went past the channel entrance tripod tower going west and then turned back toward it. Was really surprised at how little northing we could get and only ended up about 150' north of the tripod when I had to tack back west so I wouldn't go too far into the shallows. My wife was running the Jib and I was steering and she somehow didn't get the jib to tack so we had to jibe, no problem except we lost some ground. At the other side, tacked again and went back east. Tacking on the east side needed really good control of the jib and she just couldn't get the hang of it and we had to jibe again but I managed to make up for it in gusts making more northing. On the next tack she missed again so we traded places. Unfortunately, she just couldn't get the hang of it and I kept finding her with the tiller hard over for some reason so I took over steering again. On the next tack, she missed again and I actually had to give up about 100' to avoid hitting a marker. By this time I was ****ed and demanded that she just sit back and allow me to get us in. She keeps talking about getting help on the radio but I kept telling her we didn't need any help cuz we were not in any trouble and she keeps goin on about it making me nutso. Finally, I get into the groove, controlling the tacks and all and making real progress. On one tack, the wind picks up and I manage to get a good angle north, so much so that I decide to go a little more past the side of the channel than usual, after all, even if we go aground, the N wind will push us off............ Well, I go aground, no problem I thought, I turn the tiller to make us jibe and let out all the RF jib to push her head around and SHOCK, she doesn't move. DANG, it didn't feel as if we went hard aground but the wind wouldn't push us off no matter what. Suddenly wife is demanding I call for help. I say "Hell NO" we are not in trouble and I'm getting us off. OK, I try to start the engine again, a few sputters but then nothing. CRAP, she demands that we "Call somebody" so I ask, "Call ****ing who" and she says "The Marine Patrol or the Coast Guard" to which I reply that we are in NO danger at all and in fact are only ½ mile from shore in water so shallow I can walk to shore if necessary. I commence to trying to rock us off, no luck. She wants me to call somebody we know on shore but I tell her I don't have their phone numbers and I'd prefer to wait for the tide. She says, "How will we get in then, the same thing will happen". I tell her that by tomorrow the wind will be outa the south and we can then sail most of the way in. "TOMORROW, It is COLD, WE HAVE ONLY ONE BLANKET and no food and I have to get to work in the morning and Katie has o go to school and...." Katie replies "I want to stay, I want to stay". I say, "Dammit, we have three parkas, a blanket, several sheets and even some apples and snack stuff, no problem". "We need to get home" she says. "AAAAAAUGH, OK, I'll try the radio", so I try to call the local coast guard auxiliary that I know will not respond, "See, no answer". This doesn't stop her, she just ****ed off and threatens to use her cell phone to get our 16 yr old son at home to call for help. So, I get browbeaten into calling TowBoat US and get them ok. They tell us what it'll cost/hr and I tell em we'll call back if we really need help. Then, we see the only other boat on the water go by ¼ mile away, it is SeaTow so she convinces me to call them. Thank You God, they are responding to a genuine call for help and cannot get to us. I go below and try to bleed the engine, an easy thing to do if she would get off my back about my tools being all over the cabin. I have an electric fuel pump because it makes bleeding the engine a breeze but I get NO fuel out the bleed ports, "HUH"? I think back to years ago when the electric pump diaphragm had gone bad at the dock, no amount of pumping would get fuel to the fuel filter, CRAP, its happened again, bad timing too. I go forward to try to push off with the very very long extendable boat hook, nothing at all, we are hard aground. SO, I decide to make the best of it and get out my Delta anchor and manage to throw it way out so don't go too far if we float off. Suddenly "GROAN", I see SeaTow coming down the channel toward us, they managed to get the other boat out of distress. If I tell them to leave I'll never hear the end of it so I humbly tie their tow rope to our cleat and they pull us into the channel bumping the bottom a lot on the way, clearly the tide has really gone out. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even the astonishing cost of $480 didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. 20 YEARS OF SAILING AND I HAVE NEVER NEEDED TO BE TOWED IN. Shame, shame, shame. I've been hard aground before with my friends, no problem, just wait for the tide and party till then. If I was with them or myself and able to be relaxed about my tools being all over I'd have just rigged up a gravity feed for the engine but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I had to listen to so much crap I finally gave in to such debasement. I love my wife but will not sail with her again. Yes, I'd still be aground with my 10 yr old daughter with me but we'd have fun fishing and I'd get off in the morn. |
Shame and debasement
On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 14:23:25 GMT, "Roger Long"
wrote: If this doesn't work, put a block on the anchor line and run it up the mast with a halyard. Winching the anchor line will then heel the boat powerfully, reducing the draft as you drag the boat off. Snatch block on the anchor line, taken up with a halyard. Just when you think you've seen all of the clever tricks on a sailboat, along comes another one. Good one Roger. |
Shame and debasement
Gilligan wrote:
Leave the wife home. She wants to sail. Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the problem, she can only make matters worse. Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the workings properly. Just think of what might have happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent catastrophe. He would have fallen apart. The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be when you are out sailing the world - without her. No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at you.) I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding. He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer the vouch for life. Why aren't women expected to understand men? They do. That's the problem. Why is it assumed that women are so handicapped? Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet. Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism? Because they like warm bodies... Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family matters. Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life: danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to deal with when sailing. Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like. You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix ehatever her husband can't. In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won. Bunk..... It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. And thank God for that... |
Shame and debasement
The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home
and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't seem to get it. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to get it. Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry "katy" wrote in message ... Gilligan wrote: Leave the wife home. She wants to sail. Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the problem, she can only make matters worse. Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the workings properly. Just think of what might have happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent catastrophe. He would have fallen apart. The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be when you are out sailing the world - without her. No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at you.) I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding. He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer the vouch for life. Why aren't women expected to understand men? They do. That's the problem. Why is it assumed that women are so handicapped? Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet. Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism? Because they like warm bodies... Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family matters. Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life: danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to deal with when sailing. Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like. You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix ehatever her husband can't. In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won. Bunk..... It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. And thank God for that... |
Shame and debasement
"Scotty" wrote in message ... "KLC Lewis" wrote in message et... "Scotty" wrote in message . .. "KLC Lewis" wrote in message ... I like your second post much better, but can you think of any other things you should have done differently? When he wrote about throwing the anchor, I thought he was going to try to kedge off. SBV It's kinda funny, but no one has mentioned what started all of this: the engine. If one relies upon their engine to be able to get back home or to get out of trouble, having it "slowly stop running" should be a matter of concern. I believe that the first order of business shouldn't have been continuing the sail, but in finding out why the engine died, and fixing it. He did mention the fuel pump. I believe his wife failed to replace it the night before, even though she knew it was going to die the next day. snort Seahag |
Shame and debasement
Chi Chi wrote: The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't seem to get it. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to get it. Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry "katy" wrote in message ... Gilligan wrote: Leave the wife home. She wants to sail. Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the problem, she can only make matters worse. Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the workings properly. Just think of what might have happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent catastrophe. He would have fallen apart. The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be when you are out sailing the world - without her. No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at you.) I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding. He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer the vouch for life. Why aren't women expected to understand men? They do. That's the problem. Why is it assumed that women are so handicapped? Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet. Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism? Because they like warm bodies... Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family matters. Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life: danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to deal with when sailing. Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like. You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix ehatever her husband can't. In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won. Bunk..... It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. And thank God for that... I have an auto-pilot and I use it when singlehanding. Now along those lines a story about a marraige gone bad. Years ago, we were caving with a husband wife team and were going down a really bad road in their 4WD truck, came to a deep water filled hole. Henry stops the truck and says "Mary Lou, why dontcha get out and lock in the hubs" which she dutifully does while standing in water. Henry turns to me and says "you didnt know I had automatic hubs did you". They got divorced. Kathy cannot sail I think mostly cuz she doesnt want to. She has never been calm on the water cuz she was brought up inland up north and isnt really a good swimmer either although good enough. She just doesnt relax near the water. She is fine in the mountains climbing or hiking but water makes her nervous. After many years, I understand this and do not pressure her to like it. She has taken sailing lessons but promptly forgot them because it just isnt her thing. I built the little MiniCup sailboats cuz I thought her and the kids would like them. The kids loved them but she tried once and wont go near them again. Its just not her thing. |
Shame and debasement
"Frogwatch" wrote: Vic Smith wrote: wrote: Don White wrote: wrote: snip.. They tow us to the dock and I go to pay. By this time I was seriously happy to be off the boat with my wife so even *the astonishing cost of $480* didn't faze me much. It was $10/ft for the ungrounding (28' sailboat) and then $165 minimum and a couple other fees. snip... Whoo hoo! Around here the Coast Guard...or some friendly boater will always come to the rescue...for free. Re-thinking this, I regret posting it. It has me blaming my wife for my predicament when I had nobody but myslf to blame. If I had displayed much more confidence and a fun atitude I could probably have talked my wife into enjoying the overnight grounding. Unfortunately, I consider sailing to be an excercise in problem solving so I do not sail for the same reasons she does. I DID invite her. I apologize. Well, you had me convinced you were right the first time, and now you've convinced me again. Have you considered sales? I do like the second convincing more. --Vic I think I have gotten too confident in problem solving without taking into account the human dimension. This is probably why I enjoy single handed sailing. The solution would really have been to wait. There was no danger although it is supposed to hit 30 degrees tonight. With two cell phones, nobody would have to worry about us. Even if the wind direcion did not change and I was unable to rig a fuel feed. SOMEBODY would be coming down that channel on Monday. I sulked the entire night after it happened cuz it really hurt my pride. I probably should go make amends. See ya. Yeah, it's Soooo much fun going for a pleasure sail and having to bust one's balls tacking and rebuilding engines when all you were wanting to do was relax before hitting the weekly grind the next day. Godivas are good:^) Seahag |
Shame and debasement
Chi Chi wrote:
The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't seem to get it. He obviously has no teaching skills, Neal. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to get it. Or he's not communicative enough to express the correct thing to do? Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry Something he obviously didn't do. "katy" wrote in message ... Gilligan wrote: Leave the wife home. She wants to sail. Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the problem, she can only make matters worse. Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the workings properly. Just think of what might have happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent catastrophe. He would have fallen apart. The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be when you are out sailing the world - without her. No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at you.) I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding. He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer the vouch for life. Why aren't women expected to understand men? They do. That's the problem. Why is it assumed that women are so handicapped? Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet. Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism? Because they like warm bodies... Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family matters. Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life: danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to deal with when sailing. Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like. You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix ehatever her husband can't. In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won. Bunk..... It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. And thank God for that... |
Shame and debasement
katy wrote:
Chi Chi wrote: The wife should buy hubby an auto pilot for christmas so she can stay home and face all those challenges of raising children that You speak so highly of. I noticed dear kate You ignored the part where the hubby stated he has told her and shown her time and time again how to do things and she can't seem to get it. He obviously has no teaching skills, Neal. Of course you blame the man for not having patience with the female but did You ever stop to think maybe she's just not smart enough to get it. Or he's not communicative enough to express the correct thing to do? Oh wait that takes thinking. sorry Something he obviously didn't do. "katy" wrote in message ... Gilligan wrote: Leave the wife home. She wants to sail. Obviously she can not contribute to the solution of the problem, she can only make matters worse. Because he doesn't have the patience or whatever to communicate the workings properly. Just think of what might have happened if someone was injured or quick action was needed to prevent catastrophe. He would have fallen apart. The icing on the cake is to mention to her how lonely her retirement will be when you are out sailing the world - without her. No...for Christmas he should buy her sailing lessons with a female instrictor or a male instructor with a ;ot of experience teaching women and children..and the daughter should go, too/ I did not learn to sail by being taught by my husband. He assumed too much. And when I got it wrong he ye;;ed. So I sought out others with a lot of sailing experience and began sailing on their boats. Funny how other people are loathe to yell at you on their boats. The constraints of pioliteness with someone elses wife helps a lot. (And their wife will crawl all over them if they yell at you.) I do not understand why men are expected to cater to women's emotionally driven whims and are expected to "apologize" for not understanding. He acted like an asshole. If he doesn't apologize just what do you think the consequences at home will be? I suppose there are some men who prefer the vouch for life. Why aren't women expected to understand men? They do. That's the problem. Why is it assumed that women are so handicapped? Men make this assumption. It makes them feel manly and strong. Goes back to the cave days. The genetics haven't been wiped out yet. Why must men yield to this emotional terrorism? Because they like warm bodies... Women are wired for dealing with children, other women and some family matters. Dealing with children means a woman deals with every aspect of life: danger, illness, transportation, education, feeding, clothing, caring, emergencies, disasters, household management. ALl the things you need to deal with when sailing. Men are wired for dealing with the external world - things such as attacking beasts, danger, dinosaurs, thugs, science, sailing and the like. You've never seen my mother go after a snake with a hoe. Or my grandmother after a fox that got into her chickens. You are making incorrect suppositions here. Women face beasts all day. They face the external world everyday when they have to deal with teachers, the pharmacist, the doctor, and the repairmen who come to the hoise to fix ehatever her husband can't. In your situation there was a conflict between the manly world and the woman's world. It looks like the costliest solution won. Bunk..... It is unfortunate that the great and powerful mind of that Master Mariner Capt Neal is not here to contribute further on this subject. I am certain that he would add brilliant insight. And thank God for that... OK...after reading his explanation of the history of sailing in his family, I addend this. WHen you take her sailing, don't ask her to do anything. Make her as comfortable as possible. Have a bottle of wine on board. A boc of chocolates, a good book. Ig things get dicey, don't get mad. Just clear the decks and do what has to be done. And get your engine fixed so it never happens again. DON'T not take her sailing when she asks. Take fer, grit your teeth, and think of the benefits that might come from being pleasant for the day. |
Shame and debasement
On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 11:19:14 GMT, in message
Short Wave Sportfishing wrote: I apologize in advance if this sounds offensive, but with that size boat and the potential for incidents like this to happen, laying out a few bucks a year for towing and ungrounding assistance is essential. That probably depends on where and how one sails. I'm not shy about touching bottom gently, but so far have always managed to get out of things without help. (Knocks on wood...) Eventually I will probably have a grounding that requires outside assistance that I have to pay for, but paying out yearly for towing assistance just goes against the grain of self sufficiency. Of course, I have the advantage of sailing mostly in deep water... Ryk |
Shame and debasement
It also sets you up well for if you don't manage to get off. Drying out completely can be very serious for some boat as they won't float off again without flooding through cockpit lockers. If you don't get off, put a little bit of heel on the boat away from the direction the anchor is set and take up on the halyard so the boat settles with some tension on the anchor rode holding her up. This will be a precarious position since having the anchor pull out could let the boat fall over but it may be better than having her flood when the tide comes back in. If the anchor does come out it should drag slowly enough that there won't be a crash. You would still want to move around very carefully, if at all, untill the tide comes back in.
-- Roger Long "Wayne.B" wrote in message ... On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 14:23:25 GMT, "Roger Long" wrote: If this doesn't work, put a block on the anchor line and run it up the mast with a halyard. Winching the anchor line will then heel the boat powerfully, reducing the draft as you drag the boat off. Snatch block on the anchor line, taken up with a halyard. Just when you think you've seen all of the clever tricks on a sailboat, along comes another one. Good one Roger. |
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