"Harry Krause" wrote in message
. ..
JimH wrote:
"Solo Thesailor" wrote in message
ups.com...
Hi JimH,
I believe that there's no one way to suit all student-teacher pair.
Applying generalisation to individuals is perhaps a major root cause of
failures.

Some class teaching techniques are appropriate for classes, you have a
1-on-1 situation which is ideal in many respects, please take good
advantage of this 1-on-1.

Think about asking HIM how he learns best? No good just asking us. He
knows better than we do. You already know that he doesn't take negative
feedback well so give him possitive ones.

Some people are visual and not auditory -like me. If someone goes blah
blah blah at me I don't register, but draw pictures and write text then
I absorb everything. Some people prefer hands-on. Some people can copy
what you do, some, like me, can't copy unless we understand the logic
behind it first. Ask him HOW he wants to be teached. Remember there's
no one way for him either, so some things and sometimes you will need
patience of repetition.

He won't know all about how he learns either so it is a fun challenge
for you. For example, I would have a list of 101 things he needs to
learn, then let him choose what he wants to learn first. You can put
pre-requisites -but always point lessons to the item he picked to learn
about. That's his chosen goal.

(As a relevant anecdote, learning music step by step was no good for
me. Years later a wonderful teacher let me choose, I picked step 32 -a
relatively complex piece, that was my true step 1 to learn everything
else from).

Of course major safety items are non-negotiable.

If you sit down with him and brainstorm (and talk story) a check list
of preparations, then you can get him to own that list. He goes through
the check list BEFORE getting into the car. A list checked, not a
verbal soundwave of instructions to remember with no relevance
whatsoever to day-to-day life.

For most people early learning is best when the person feels 'safe',
incl safe from abuses/talk-down.

Sometimes complete learning comes best when (or only when) the person
is totally in charge. I suddenly became competent as a race yacht
foredecky/bowman when thrown in the deep end as totally responsible for
nighttime races where you couldn't see hardly anything let alone the
colours of ropes.

If you watch him expecting mistakes then he is more likely to make
mistakes.

If you seem superior and talk-down and get-mad then forget it.

I think it is more important to keep good dad-son relationship than to
successfully teach him. He can learn from someone else, but he can't
have another dad.

You can agree that there'll be tussles and just laugh them off, but if
things get out of hand then seriously consider getting someone else to
teach him till he is semi-competent then he can continue with you.

An opinion offerred. Hope it helps someone somewhere...
Solo Thesailor
http://sailingstoriesandtips.blogspot.com


Great advice.

I asked him if he learns better by hearing instructions or actually
seeing them done. He is a visual learner and needs written instructions
and to see me in action doing these things. My wife agrees.

So I put together a checklist:

1. Things to study up on before the next lesson.
2. Things to bring when leaving for the next lesson.
3. Things to do when getting to the boat and preparing for departure.

I gave my son a copy for his room and a copy to bring with home on the
boat.

He asked me to take the boat out of the marina and onto the Lake during
the next lesson so he can watch me and follow the steps, both as written
and as actually done. I will make sure to follow those steps in the
order I wrote them.

Once we are safely out on the Lake I will shut it down and have him go
through the drill. We will also practice anchoring, including backing
into a beach area, heading back up the river to the marina and then
docking it.

I need to continue to praise him for things well done (as I did on our
1st lesson) and build up his confidence.

Once again, thanks for all your advice.....it was all great!

Complicated.

When I was a little kid, about six or seven, I guess, my father gave me a
rowboat, a pair of oars, a lifejacket and a rope and anchor. I spent that
entire summer rowing around our cover. The following year, I had a rowboat
with a 1-1/2 hp Evinrude, and spent the summer learning how to drive a
boat. By the time I was 10, I was operating planing powerboats and small
sailboats, like BlueJays, Sailfish, Sunfish, Dyers, et cetera.
Nothing unusual, most of the kids in the area were doing much the same.

The best way to learn how to handle any sort of boat is to start with
small, slow, tippy boats, and little sailboats. You really need to develop
a feeling for the vagaries of wind, tide, current, waves, et cetera, and
the little boats are the way to go.

By the time I was 12, I was driving my dad's high-powered runabouts.
Never had a boating accident or mishap.

He has been there. He has taken out our inflatable on his own many times
starting at about the age of 10. The problem is that it will handle
entirely different from our runabout.

He is mainly having a problem with being able to control the throttle on the
boat, most especially when trying to only bump up the speed a small amount.
He is also not confident on handling the boat in reverse and quickly
maneuvering back to forward in a turn around situation.

He needs to gain his confidence on this boat and I am sure it will finally
come together for him. ;-)

JimH wrote:
"Solo Thesailor" wrote in message
ups.com...

Hi JimH,
I believe that there's no one way to suit all student-teacher pair.
Applying generalisation to individuals is perhaps a major root cause of
failures.

Some class teaching techniques are appropriate for classes, you have a
1-on-1 situation which is ideal in many respects, please take good
advantage of this 1-on-1.

Think about asking HIM how he learns best? No good just asking us. He
knows better than we do. You already know that he doesn't take negative
feedback well so give him possitive ones.

Some people are visual and not auditory -like me. If someone goes blah
blah blah at me I don't register, but draw pictures and write text then
I absorb everything. Some people prefer hands-on. Some people can copy
what you do, some, like me, can't copy unless we understand the logic
behind it first. Ask him HOW he wants to be teached. Remember there's
no one way for him either, so some things and sometimes you will need
patience of repetition.

He won't know all about how he learns either so it is a fun challenge
for you. For example, I would have a list of 101 things he needs to
learn, then let him choose what he wants to learn first. You can put
pre-requisites -but always point lessons to the item he picked to learn
about. That's his chosen goal.

(As a relevant anecdote, learning music step by step was no good for
me. Years later a wonderful teacher let me choose, I picked step 32 -a
relatively complex piece, that was my true step 1 to learn everything
else from).

Of course major safety items are non-negotiable.

If you sit down with him and brainstorm (and talk story) a check list
of preparations, then you can get him to own that list. He goes through
the check list BEFORE getting into the car. A list checked, not a
verbal soundwave of instructions to remember with no relevance
whatsoever to day-to-day life.

For most people early learning is best when the person feels 'safe',
incl safe from abuses/talk-down.

Sometimes complete learning comes best when (or only when) the person
is totally in charge. I suddenly became competent as a race yacht
foredecky/bowman when thrown in the deep end as totally responsible for
nighttime races where you couldn't see hardly anything let alone the
colours of ropes.

If you watch him expecting mistakes then he is more likely to make
mistakes.

If you seem superior and talk-down and get-mad then forget it.

I think it is more important to keep good dad-son relationship than to
successfully teach him. He can learn from someone else, but he can't
have another dad.

You can agree that there'll be tussles and just laugh them off, but if
things get out of hand then seriously consider getting someone else to
teach him till he is semi-competent then he can continue with you.

An opinion offerred. Hope it helps someone somewhere...
Solo Thesailor
http://sailingstoriesandtips.blogspot.com



Great advice.

I asked him if he learns better by hearing instructions or actually seeing
them done. He is a visual learner and needs written instructions and to see
me in action doing these things. My wife agrees.

So I put together a checklist:

1. Things to study up on before the next lesson.
2. Things to bring when leaving for the next lesson.
3. Things to do when getting to the boat and preparing for departure.

I gave my son a copy for his room and a copy to bring with home on the boat.

He asked me to take the boat out of the marina and onto the Lake during the
next lesson so he can watch me and follow the steps, both as written and as
actually done. I will make sure to follow those steps in the order I wrote
them.

Once we are safely out on the Lake I will shut it down and have him go
through the drill. We will also practice anchoring, including backing into
a beach area, heading back up the river to the marina and then docking it.

I need to continue to praise him for things well done (as I did on our 1st
lesson) and build up his confidence.

Once again, thanks for all your advice.....it was all great!


I went through this all last year when my #2 son finally decided to get
his drivers license. Now he'll sit next to me and criticize my
driving...as if there was anything to criticize.