Gene Kearns wrote in message
...

Ah, one of the simple pleasures of living in the South. Reminds me of
the time the wife and I watched our ****ed-off neighbor, .357 in hand,
go after a bunch of cats raiding his trash barrel.

I don't think he got any of them, but damn, was it funny watching
those cats come zooming out of that barrel as if shot by a catapult
and the neighbor blasting away at his trash barrel like "Dirty Harry."


You'all good 'ole southern boys sho' do like to use them guns.
What do you do when the kids act up?
Put a little rock salt in the old 12 gauge and tell them to git runnin'?

Don,

Sorry for the correction, but it's 'you all' in the North. Down South
it's y'all (singular) and all y'all (plural).

Perhaps the following will help you if you ever decide to head south.
Just got this a week or so ago. Not boating related, but educational.
:^)

If you are from the northern states and are planning on visiting or
moving to the South, there are a few things you should know that
will help you adapt to the difference in lifestyles:

The North has coffee houses,
The South has Waffle Houses.

The North has dating services,
The South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives,
The South has Lee Press-on Nails.

The North has double last names,
The South has double first names.

The North has Ted Kennedy,
The South has Jesse Helms.

The North has Indy car races,
The South has stock car races.

The North has Cream of Wheat,
The South has grits.

The North has green salads,
The South has collard greens.

The North has lobsters,
The South has crawdads.

The North has the rust belt,
The South has the Bible Belt.

In the South:

If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic, four men in a
four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along
shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way; this is
what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same
store.... Do not buy any food at this store!

Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all
y'all's" is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later
on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying.
They can't understand you either.
The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" truck or
"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced
dialect this

way. All of them are in denial about it

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you
should immediately move aside and stay out of the way.
These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the
smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the
local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything
or not, you just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own
shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught
them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush
green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

In the north, iced tea has "seasons."
In the south, the question is "sweet or unsweetened."

AND REMEMBER:

If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we
will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens
in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits.

Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and I
reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.
Your relatives would get a kick out of it also!

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol" truck or
"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced
dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it

And don't forget "Haaaail....that there car's got itself a real strong
motor!"

Don White wrote:
You'all good 'ole southern boys sho' do like to use them guns.
What do you do when the kids act up?
Put a little rock salt in the old 12 gauge and tell them to git runnin'?

Depends on how old they are, and how good a shot you are.

DSK

"Don White" wrote in message ...
Gene Kearns wrote in message
...

Ah, one of the simple pleasures of living in the South. Reminds me of
the time the wife and I watched our ****ed-off neighbor, .357 in hand,
go after a bunch of cats raiding his trash barrel.

I don't think he got any of them, but damn, was it funny watching
those cats come zooming out of that barrel as if shot by a catapult
and the neighbor blasting away at his trash barrel like "Dirty Harry."


You'all good 'ole southern boys sho' do like to use them guns.

Nah, only the hillbilly-ish ones. They think the NRA is their government.

"basskisser" wrote in message
om...
"Don White" wrote in message
...
Gene Kearns wrote in message
...

Ah, one of the simple pleasures of living in the South. Reminds me of
the time the wife and I watched our ****ed-off neighbor, .357 in hand,
go after a bunch of cats raiding his trash barrel.

I don't think he got any of them, but damn, was it funny watching
those cats come zooming out of that barrel as if shot by a catapult
and the neighbor blasting away at his trash barrel like "Dirty Harry."


You'all good 'ole southern boys sho' do like to use them guns.

Nah, only the hillbilly-ish ones. They think the NRA is their government.

Remember the idea of "checks and balances"? Well, the NRA is the fourth
branch of government: 1) executive, 2) legislative, 3) judicial, and 4) NRA.

"Don White" wrote in message
...

Gene Kearns wrote in message
...

Ah, one of the simple pleasures of living in the South. Reminds me of
the time the wife and I watched our ****ed-off neighbor, .357 in hand,
go after a bunch of cats raiding his trash barrel.

I don't think he got any of them, but damn, was it funny watching
those cats come zooming out of that barrel as if shot by a catapult
and the neighbor blasting away at his trash barrel like "Dirty Harry."


You'all good 'ole southern boys sho' do like to use them guns.
What do you do when the kids act up?
Put a little rock salt in the old 12 gauge and tell them to git runnin'?



Hey....there was a farmer in my neighborhood who did exactly that when he
caught kids stealing a few ears of corn. And this was in Long Island in the
mid 1960s. Not exactly Arkansas.

Of course it wasn't Arkansas...if it was Arkansas, you'd a been shooting at
a married couple.........

On Mon, 15 Mar 2004 01:53:00 GMT, "Don White"
wrote:

You'all good 'ole southern boys sho' do like to use them guns.
What do you do when the kids act up?
Put a little rock salt in the old 12 gauge and tell them to git runnin'?

===============================

You don't have to tell them.