Just got two jokes from a friend.

First:

A very successful man and his wife were having dinner at an exclusive yacht
club.
As they were supping, a svelte and sexy younger woman approached the man, gave
him a huge kiss on his bald spot, and said, "I can't wait to meet you tonight,
darling!"

"Who *was* that?!" demanded the outraged wife.

The man was very embarrassed. "Guess I'm busted. OK. That's my mistress. I've
been seeing her off and on for about a year now."

"Well!" exclaimed the wife, "That does it! I'm going to sleep at my sister's
tonight and call a divorce lawyer in the morning!"

The man replied, "Well, whatever you like. But check our pre-nup's: a divorce
will mean no more European shopping trips. No more Lexus. No more open ended
account at the jeweler's. No more winter skiing trips to Switzerland. No more
cruising on my corporate yacht."

The woman was about to reply when a mutual gentleman friend walked by, (a
voluptuous younger woman on his arm).

"And who's that with Jack Jones?" asked the wife. "It sure isn't Mrs Jones!"

"Well, that's Jack's mistress. He has one too."

"Oh," replied the wife. "I think ours is prettier."

**********************

Second:

The United Nations sent an inspector to Afghanistan to see whether there had
been any cultural changes since the fall of the Taliban.

The inspector was amazed to see that all of the men were walking ten paces
behind the women.

"What happened?" asked the inspector. "For thousands of years the women were
required to walk ten paces behind the men! Is this the result of western
cultural influence?"

"No," answered his guide. "Land mines."

On 10 Jan 2004 18:54:43 GMT, (Gould 0738) wrote:

Just got two jokes from a friend.

First:

A very successful man and his wife were having dinner at an exclusive yacht
club.
As they were supping, a svelte and sexy younger woman approached the man, gave
him a huge kiss on his bald spot, and said, "I can't wait to meet you tonight,
darling!"

"Who *was* that?!" demanded the outraged wife.

The man was very embarrassed. "Guess I'm busted. OK. That's my mistress. I've
been seeing her off and on for about a year now."

"Well!" exclaimed the wife, "That does it! I'm going to sleep at my sister's
tonight and call a divorce lawyer in the morning!"

The man replied, "Well, whatever you like. But check our pre-nup's: a divorce
will mean no more European shopping trips. No more Lexus. No more open ended
account at the jeweler's. No more winter skiing trips to Switzerland. No more
cruising on my corporate yacht."

The woman was about to reply when a mutual gentleman friend walked by, (a
voluptuous younger woman on his arm).

"And who's that with Jack Jones?" asked the wife. "It sure isn't Mrs Jones!"

"Well, that's Jack's mistress. He has one too."

"Oh," replied the wife. "I think ours is prettier."

**********************

Second:

The United Nations sent an inspector to Afghanistan to see whether there had
been any cultural changes since the fall of the Taliban.

The inspector was amazed to see that all of the men were walking ten paces
behind the women.

"What happened?" asked the inspector. "For thousands of years the women were
required to walk ten paces behind the men! Is this the result of western
cultural influence?"

"No," answered his guide. "Land mines."

Now I'm glad I didn't go to iboats forever! Trouble with the second
one is that it's probably not a joke!

John H

On the 'Poco Loco' out of Deale, MD
on the beautiful Chesapeake Bay!

I read through your post, but couldn't find the 2 funny
ones....
JR

Gould 0738 wrote:

Just got two jokes from a friend.

First:

A very successful man and his wife were having dinner at an exclusive yacht
club.
As they were supping, a svelte and sexy younger woman approached the man, gave
him a huge kiss on his bald spot, and said, "I can't wait to meet you tonight,
darling!"

"Who *was* that?!" demanded the outraged wife.

The man was very embarrassed. "Guess I'm busted. OK. That's my mistress. I've
been seeing her off and on for about a year now."

"Well!" exclaimed the wife, "That does it! I'm going to sleep at my sister's
tonight and call a divorce lawyer in the morning!"

The man replied, "Well, whatever you like. But check our pre-nup's: a divorce
will mean no more European shopping trips. No more Lexus. No more open ended
account at the jeweler's. No more winter skiing trips to Switzerland. No more
cruising on my corporate yacht."

The woman was about to reply when a mutual gentleman friend walked by, (a
voluptuous younger woman on his arm).

"And who's that with Jack Jones?" asked the wife. "It sure isn't Mrs Jones!"

"Well, that's Jack's mistress. He has one too."

"Oh," replied the wife. "I think ours is prettier."

**********************

Second:

The United Nations sent an inspector to Afghanistan to see whether there had
been any cultural changes since the fall of the Taliban.

The inspector was amazed to see that all of the men were walking ten paces
behind the women.

"What happened?" asked the inspector. "For thousands of years the women were
required to walk ten paces behind the men! Is this the result of western
cultural influence?"

"No," answered his guide. "Land mines."

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