"Christopher Robin" wrote in message
om...

We may not be able to defeat the current enemy with guns and bombs. You
might want to expand your thinking a bit.

So we should stop sending military assistance to Israel?

Please explain.....

This might be off-topic:

Israel can take care of itself. The French can continue to sell them arms.
For the rest of the region, I'd use public opinion and obnoxious political
manipulation to deal with the problem. I contributed an idea to the
newsgroup in early December. It's perfect. Now, we have 3 or 4 lunatics
trying to run a serious war. My idea is to complement that by proposing a
plan which is TRULY befitting of a madman. Close the circle, so to speak:

1) Use (and I do mean *use* in the most manipulative sense) all the

countries of the Middle East, and any other countries that consider

themselves largely Muslim (Algeria, for instance), to determine the

definition of "The U.S. has done what Osama has asked". Do this by getting

them to define it and put it in writing via the United Nations. We refuse
to

allow the inclusion of bull**** like "written apologies". Regardless of
what

you think of the U.N., it would be useful because many countries lend some

credence to resolutions, especially if they designed those resolutions.
In)

this case, a resolution would end up being permission to destroy what
needed

destroying. A snare, if you will.



2) Negotiate only with the one or two countries we really need oil from to

be sure that no matter the results of the resolution, they will continue
to

sell us oil as before. This probably won't be difficult.



3) As part of the resolution, insist that 3 unrelated polling
organizations,

from 3 countries, use mutually acceptable methods to determine whether an

overwhelming majority of the civilian populations of, say, Iraq, Egypt and

Iran believe that our proposed withdrawal constitutes "agreeing to Osama's

terms". Now, you have a "coalition" of sorts, the kind that your leader
(Bush)

could only wish for in between delicious moments of picking his nose.



4) Finally, state in the resolution that our complete withdrawal comes
with

two caveats:



- We will continue to maintain a heavy naval presence in the region, in
case

our two oil suppliers are "troubled" in any way. That probably means
Kuwait

and Saudi Arabia.



- Any subsequent terrorist attacks which affect even one American anywhere

in the world will result in our randomly choosing a city from one of the

countries which signed the resolution, and leveling it within 12 hours.
The

city will literally be chosen from a brown paper bag on television, in the

same way people play "secret Santa". It should preferably be chosen by

someone utterly frivolous, like Jay Leno or the host of a game show.

Stipulate that the first time there's an attack, ships will launch
whatever

they have on board, short of nuclear weapons. The second time, a clause:

"Since ships may not have had time to restock with convential weapons
since

the first attack, their only choice may be....."



How long do you think it would take for Osama *and* Saddam to be escorted
to

the nearest American embassy by a crowd of concerned parents who didn't
want

a couple of loose cannons around? Other die-hards will be brought to heel

very quickly in a style reminiscent of the old Soviet Union. Nobody will

trust their neighbors.



They want us to leave, we'll leave. Since OBL won't

actually sign the resolution, his agreement will be implied by the opinion

poll and the signatures of real leaders. If he wants to show up for a
photo

op and to signal his approval, that's fine. Lends even more weight to the

resolution. Afterwards, he can try and stamp out all the little cells of

loonies he's spawned around the world. If he fails and those loonies act
on

their own, OBL will be the fall guy for the destruction of major cities.