"Peace through superior firepower" - The world's tyrants are running scared
"Christopher Robin" wrote in message
om...
We may not be able to defeat the current enemy with guns and bombs. You
might want to expand your thinking a bit.
So we should stop sending military assistance to Israel?
Please explain.....
This might be off-topic:
Israel can take care of itself. The French can continue to sell them arms.
For the rest of the region, I'd use public opinion and obnoxious political
manipulation to deal with the problem. I contributed an idea to the
newsgroup in early December. It's perfect. Now, we have 3 or 4 lunatics
trying to run a serious war. My idea is to complement that by proposing a
plan which is TRULY befitting of a madman. Close the circle, so to speak:
1) Use (and I do mean *use* in the most manipulative sense) all the
countries of the Middle East, and any other countries that consider
themselves largely Muslim (Algeria, for instance), to determine the
definition of "The U.S. has done what Osama has asked". Do this by getting
them to define it and put it in writing via the United Nations. We refuse
to
allow the inclusion of bull**** like "written apologies". Regardless of
what
you think of the U.N., it would be useful because many countries lend some
credence to resolutions, especially if they designed those resolutions.
In)
this case, a resolution would end up being permission to destroy what
needed
destroying. A snare, if you will.
2) Negotiate only with the one or two countries we really need oil from to
be sure that no matter the results of the resolution, they will continue
to
sell us oil as before. This probably won't be difficult.
3) As part of the resolution, insist that 3 unrelated polling
organizations,
from 3 countries, use mutually acceptable methods to determine whether an
overwhelming majority of the civilian populations of, say, Iraq, Egypt and
Iran believe that our proposed withdrawal constitutes "agreeing to Osama's
terms". Now, you have a "coalition" of sorts, the kind that your leader
(Bush)
could only wish for in between delicious moments of picking his nose.
4) Finally, state in the resolution that our complete withdrawal comes
with
two caveats:
- We will continue to maintain a heavy naval presence in the region, in
case
our two oil suppliers are "troubled" in any way. That probably means
Kuwait
and Saudi Arabia.
- Any subsequent terrorist attacks which affect even one American anywhere
in the world will result in our randomly choosing a city from one of the
countries which signed the resolution, and leveling it within 12 hours.
The
city will literally be chosen from a brown paper bag on television, in the
same way people play "secret Santa". It should preferably be chosen by
someone utterly frivolous, like Jay Leno or the host of a game show.
Stipulate that the first time there's an attack, ships will launch
whatever
they have on board, short of nuclear weapons. The second time, a clause:
"Since ships may not have had time to restock with convential weapons
since
the first attack, their only choice may be....."
How long do you think it would take for Osama *and* Saddam to be escorted
to
the nearest American embassy by a crowd of concerned parents who didn't
want
a couple of loose cannons around? Other die-hards will be brought to heel
very quickly in a style reminiscent of the old Soviet Union. Nobody will
trust their neighbors.
They want us to leave, we'll leave. Since OBL won't
actually sign the resolution, his agreement will be implied by the opinion
poll and the signatures of real leaders. If he wants to show up for a
photo
op and to signal his approval, that's fine. Lends even more weight to the
resolution. Afterwards, he can try and stamp out all the little cells of
loonies he's spawned around the world. If he fails and those loonies act
on
their own, OBL will be the fall guy for the destruction of major cities.
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