"Clams Canino" wrote in message
news:4uNCb.533010$HS4.4073001@attbi_s01...


Speaking of the ramp, I don't know how enforcable it is (perhaps via
loitering laws hehe) but some of the idiots that tie up / slow down the
ramps need a ticket for *something* LOL.


I know what you mean. There's a whole list of behaviors which fall into the
category of "general lack of consideration", like warming up your 17 year
old Chevy Blazer for 20 minutes right outside your neighbor's open window,
because you think them darn EPA hippies are wrong about fumes being bad for
you.

At one of our local ramps, there's some sort of unofficial thing that goes
on. Officially, they have nubile babes collecting the ramp fee. And
officially, boaters are "advised" by 2-3 old guys who look like they spent
the last 6 months in a life raft. Mostly, they spend their time reminding
the illiterate that ramps are designated for "in" or "out" depending on
traffic, and that the "IN" and "OUT" signs mean (quizzically) "In" or "Out".
UNofficially, these old guys are usually accompanied by equally ancient
buddies who hang around helping kids with bait, or showing newbies how to
operate a cleat. You can sort of tell who's who by the presence or absence
of polo shirts with the township's emblem. ANYWAY....this crew of life raft
veterans does a good job of mildly embarrassing morons at the ramp. Imagine
Don Rickles, toned down by 50%.

My first time at the ramp, this young woman backs her PWC into the water and
ties it up right at the bottom of the ramp. Why move it down to the end so
someone else could launch while you park, especially since there were 30
cars waiting. She parks her car and sits in it for about 5 minutes doing
something to her hair. Meanwhile, nobody can move. One of the old guys yells
to her "Are you gonna get a manicure too, 'cause there are people waiting
but I could see if they'll come back tomorrow". Needless to say, she ended
her beauty parlor routine instantly. You can't argue with a 100 year old man
who obviously knows what he's talking about. :-) There was much laughter
from the waiting cars.

Other nonsense: Signs all over the parking area say "Boaters Only - Vehicles
Without Trailers Will Be Ticketed". All day long, people come up to the
booth and ask the attendant "Do ya think I'll really get a ticket? I don't
have a trailer". Sometimes they approach the cop who's writing tickets and
ask if they can just park for a couple of hours without getting a ticket.
:-)

I really want to make a movie about this stuff. I need a catchy title. The
dumbest people will be featured in the movie without their permission.
Especially the monkeys who, on a really busy afternoon, let their 4 kids run
up and down the dock with fishing poles while other boaters are scrambling
to get in or out and make way for the next person. Or, the knuckleheads who
need help docking on a windy day, and when they toss you their line, it's
always 2 feet shorter than the distance from the boat to the dock. Wouldn't
want to buy a 15 ft rope when a 3 footer will work just as well. Sort of.
:-)