I wouldn't call this a "near death" unless you were given CPR.
It sounds like just a bad swim for you, and a terribly bad swim
for your friend, who went under a rock.

Jokes are supposed to be funny. Are prison jokes considered funnier
in WV than elsewhere?

Commercial passengers who "swim" or experience "carnage" are almost
twice as likely to return, various studies indicate. Many companies
give guests a "thrill" by maneuvering them into the biggest waves.
However guides should be sensitive to what their guests want, and
it can't hurt to ask.

Many mishaps occur right after lunch. Usually I wait to eat until
the big rapids are behind me. Did you consider refusing to continue
in that same boat configuration after lunch?

It's always best when guides know the river well, especially on rivers
with many hazards (e.g. undercut rocks). I don't know the Gauley,
but standing up above a rapid with rock strainers is a bad idea!

It could be that his standing up rocked the boat enough to dump you
and your friend out. It could also be that looking back at him
interrupted your concentration and led to your falling out.

Usually paddle boats have more than two people, and you made it seem
like Charlene was on the same side as Chuck. That's odd.

Hope you didn't tip your guide!