Jebbie, from Carl Hiaasen at the Miami Herald:



A plan to energize Jeb Bush’s presidential campaign:

1. Add another exclamation mark to your posters and bumper stickers, so
that they look like this: “Jeb!!�

This will put you ahead on the charisma meter, because most other
candidates don’t even use one exclamation point on their campaign signs!

2. Provide unlimited Starbucks at all town-hall meetings.

Free coffee would be one way to make sure your supporters appear
enthusiastic and alert while you’re explaining your position on, say,
Common Core.

To attract more young people, offer cans of Red Bull to anyone willing
to jump up and down waving a “Jeb!!� sign.

3. Play cooler music at your campaign rallies.

Donald Trump uses an Aerosmith jam to rock his audience, so why not
Zeppelin or the Stones for you? The band members are approximately the
same age as the average Republican primary voter, so let’s make that
connection!

4. Work on your wardrobe.

Lose the baby-blue Brooks Brothers shirt, OK? And taking off the necktie
doesn’t make you look like a casual dude — it just makes you look like a
banker who’s getting ready to change a flat tire.

Rick Perry started wearing eyeglasses to make people think he wasn’t so
dumb. What if you started wearing blue jeans to make people think you
aren’t so wonky?

Unpressed stonewashed jeans — would that blow their buttoned-down minds?
Khakis are what they’d be expecting from a Bush, but jeans and Skechers?

Boom!!

5. Tone down the whole Florida thing.

At this point, everybody in the country knows you were governor of
Florida. Endlessly bragging about it doesn’t seem to be working.

That’s probably because too many prospective voters have either been to
Florida, or read enough wild stories to know that it’s not a model of
honest, efficient government. It’s also not a particularly tranquil
place to live.

These days, folks in Iowa or New Hampshire hear the word Florida and
they think of drug shootouts, Medicare fraud, sinkholes and giant pythons.

While on the campaign trail, you’d be better off speaking in broad terms
about your experience as the two-term leader of a dynamic, fast-growing
Southern state.

Just leave it at that.

Read *much* more he
http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/o...#storylink=cpy