Eyewitnesses reported that during last night’s 9:15pm Real3D screening
of Gravity, a lone man (later identified as retired ISS Commander Chris
Hadfield) began muttering under his breath and chuckling to himself. By
the 30-minute mark, Hadfield reportedly made numerous rude comments such
as, “Nice Soyuz procedure, Hollywood!” and “Oh yeah, because that’s what
hypoxia as caused by rapid cabin decompression looks like you idiots!.”

“It was the damndest thing,” recounted Isabelle Tremblay. “My boyfriend
and I were like, ‘what a jerk’, and he went back to talk to him. But
then he came back to our seats and he was like ‘I’m pretty sure that was
that astronaut guy. You know, from the news.’ So we just let him go. I
mean, what do you do? An astronaut probably gets George Clooney’s
character struggles a little better than I do.”

Hadfield’s alleged berating of the film continued unabated. During one
crucial and deathly silent scene involving Sandra Bullock’s character’s
desperate attempt to reach her vessel and avoid dying in the void of
space, the man who brought honour and fun to Canadian space exploration
let out a long, piercing, and altogether perfect fart.

Eventually, theatre staff was notified, and the Canadian living legend
was loudly removed from the cinema. Witnesses report that he did not go
quietly. One patron recalled, “The last thing I heard him yelling was,
‘Have you been to space? Because I’ve been to space!’”

“But he’s still a hero, I suppose.”

At press time, Commander Hadfield’s family and friends were really
hoping he never finds out about the 1996 horror classic: Leprechaun In
Space.


http://tinyurl.com/l59u9rv

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