ARLINGTON, TX—Marking the Cowboys’ season opener against the Giants in
traditional fashion, Dallas fans were reportedly treated to a thrilling
halftime show Sunday night that featured the execution of a Texas state
prisoner.
“That was the best halftime show I’ve seen in years—there was this
awesome light show with Toby Keith’s ‘American Ride’ playing over the
sound system while a priest administered the last rites,” said
46-year-old Cowboys fan Alan Kierstead, adding that he especially
enjoyed when Cowboys cheerleaders formed the shape of a skull around the
stage and performed an elaborate dance routine before the convicted
felon was injected with a lethal dose of pentobarbital. “My favorite
part was when he finally went limp and all those fireworks shot up from
the top of the stadium. I just wish I were one of those lucky people on
the field who got to watch it close-up.”
Delighted fans also told reporters that the halftime execution was far
better than any other such event at Texas Stadium, noting that the view
of the inmate’s last breath was much better on the venue’s
state-of-the-art 72-foot-tall LED jumbotron.