It’s that time of year again!
THE 2014 DIVISION 1 COLLEGE FOOTBALL SCOUTING REPORT!!
It has finally arrived...the 2014 football scouting report.
The following is currently making the rounds of Division 1 football coaches:

Wayfron P. Jackson:
6' 6", 215 lbs. Wide Receiver. Hottest prospect from Texas in the last
ten years.
Loves rap music. Demands a mini-cassette in his helmet.
Currently holds world record for the most "you knows" during an
interview (62 in one minute). Wayfron can print his complete name.
Signed with Tennessee
Quinticious Jenkins:
6' 3", 220 lbs. Running Back. Set state scoring record out of Triton
High School, Dunn, N.C.
Also led the state in burglaries, but has only 9 convictions. He has
been clocked at 4.2 seconds in the 40 yard dash with a 19" TV under each
arm. Said he is proud of his 'elusitivity' and because he can use left
or right hand equally well he is 'amphibious'.
Signed with Mississippi State.
Roosevelt "Dude" Dansell:
6' 1", 195 lbs. Running Back.. From Tyler, Texas.
Has processed hair and imitates Billy Dee Williams very well.
Before he signed his letter of intent, he wanted the school to change
colors to chartreuse and pink. Listed his church preference as "red brick."
Signed with the University of Houston.
Woodrow Lee Washington:
6' 8", 310 lbs. Tackle. From a 4th generation welfare family. At 19 he's
the oldest of 21 children.
Mother claims Woodrow and child No. 9 have same father.
He has a manslaughter trial pending, but feels he will be found innocent
because: "The dude said sumpin' bad 'bout my Momma." On his entrance
form, he listed his I.Q. as 20/20.
Signed with the University of Texas.
Willie "Night Train" Jones:
6'4", 225 lbs. Quarterback. Born on an Amtrak train. Birth certificate
indicates he is 24 years old.
Thinks the "N" on Nebraska 's helmets stands for "Nowledge," but still
meets this school's stringent entrance requirements....
Insists on wearing No. 32 jersey since it matches his score on his SAT's.
Signed with the University of Oregon.
Tyrone "Python" Peoples:
6'10", 228 lbs. Wide Receiver. Has a pending paternity suit and two rape
trials, but hopes none of his other 9 victims will file charges.
Tyrone had already signed letters of intent with six other colleges, but
was also willing to sign with us. Likes wild women and red Cadillac's.
Thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican Telephone Company.
Signed with University of Miami.
Abdul Hasheen Abba Ali:
6'10", 305 lbs. Guard. Played high school ball under the name Sylvester
Lee Jones until he discovered religion.
Abdul thinks Sherlock Holmes is a housing project in Jacksonville, Fl.
Doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear." (Doesn't know the meaning
of many other words, either.)
Signed with the University of Florida.
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Note: College track coaches intend to use several of the above signees
in their track programs. However, instead of using a starting pistol at
track meets, the NCAA has now agreed to use a burglar alarm.

Have a nice day.......... and Yes... The Country has truly
"ARRIVED".....
Signed anonymous.