Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

ANCHORAGE (The Borowitz Report) – Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin
told reporters today that she would not run for President because “I
want to go straight to the quitting part.”

“If I launched a campaign, let’s face it, a couple of months from now
I’d up and quit,” she said. “This is a real step-saver for all concerned.”

She said that prior to her decision she had seriously considered
running, “but only for the free clothes.”

When asked about her future plans, she said, “Although I’m not running
for President, I have no intention of spending more time with my family.”

The former Alaska Governor, who had originally scheduled a thirty-minute
press conference to announce her decision, abruptly cut it short after
fifteen minutes with no explanation.

The Tea Party favorite’s announcement leaves the remaining Republican
candidates scrambling for the moron vote, a key constituency in the 2012
GOP race.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was said to be considering new
strategies to dispel the nagging impression that he is mentally
competent, an attribute that has alienated millions of Tea Party voters.

Mr. Romney was rumored to be weighing a number of options, such as
barking like a dog or wearing a bunch of bananas on his head at the next
televised debate.

Meanwhile, still reeling from charges of racism, Texas Governor Rick
Perry was reportedly huddling with advisors at his country home, Jewtrap.
--
I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X ` Man
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

--
I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X ` Man
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

On 10/6/11 12:04 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X `
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

Who knows where that mouth of hers has been? There's several salacious
tales about Ms. Palin circulating, including that she had affairs while
married to her current husband.

What a family, eh?


--
I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 09:04:14 -0700, jps wrote:

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X ` Man
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

cord. autotype.

On 10/6/11 12:09 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 09:04:14 -0700, wrote:

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X `
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

cord. autotype.


Actually, the word you wanted used to be spelled chord.

--
I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:14:14 -0400, X ` Man
wrote:

On 10/6/11 12:09 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 09:04:14 -0700, wrote:

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X `
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

cord. autotype.


Actually, the word you wanted used to be spelled chord.

I did not know that.

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:07:21 -0400, X ` Man
wrote:

On 10/6/11 12:04 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X `
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

Who knows where that mouth of hers has been? There's several salacious
tales about Ms. Palin circulating, including that she had affairs while
married to her current husband.

What a family, eh?

The family she pimps to boost her sympathy factor? She's another
insane "conservative" with an enormously inflated sense of herself.

On 10/6/11 1:10 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 12:14:14 -0400, X `
wrote:

On 10/6/11 12:09 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 09:04:14 -0700, wrote:

On Thu, 06 Oct 2011 07:47:42 -0400, X `
wrote:

On 10/6/11 3:48 AM, jps wrote:
On Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:51:36 -0400, X `
wrote:

Palin Decides Not to Run: ‘I Want to Go Straight to the Quitting Part’
Decision Leaves Moron Vote Up for Grabs

She didn't quit anything, it was all a head fake to keep her in the
public eye while she continues to cash in on her celebrity. Lining
her pockets with cash and goods is Sarah's only objective.

No one could take her any more seriously than any of the other 5
clowns running for the Republican nomination.

Huntsman, the only guy with a brain would never get the nomination.

He doesn't hate Obama enough, love (Rambo) Jesus enough, hate gays
enough, hate health care reform enough and whatever else these idiots
are chasing. Oh, Donald Trumps endorsement. Holy ****.

Pathetic, ain't it? :)
Well, perhaps the news channels will stop paying attention to Citizen
Palin.

I cut the chord with the news channels. It's PBS, BBC and Jon
Stewart. Can't take the cacophony of cable news anymore.

I like that Ailes admitted hiring Palin because she's "hot." Did he
get a daily bj written into her contract?

cord. autotype.


Actually, the word you wanted used to be spelled chord.

I did not know that.


Yup. Cord came first then chord evolved from it and then cord arose from
the ashes. One of the words I once studied in pursuing my master's in
etymology.

Funny thing about liberal arts degrees. I'd bet that my earnings have
been higher on average than of the right-wingers who disdain
non-vocational higher education. My dad had a traditional liberal arts
degree and was successful in several businesses that had virtually
nothing to do with his natural and learned artistic abilities in music
and oil painting. Higher education should teach you to think, not teach
you how to do tasks that will become obsolete.



--
I'll believe corporations are people when Texas executes one.