Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP For Slander
September 5, 2011
By Corey Banks

Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit today in the New York Supreme Court against
the Republican National Committee for what he is calling “egregious
misrepresentation of his statements and image.”

One of the attorneys representing Christ had this to say:

“For years Republicans have proclaimed their love for and loyalty to
Jesus, yet their actions are highly contradictory to what Mr. Christ
preached. Instead of helping the poor and the sick GOP instead punishes
the poor and the sickly.

Our client isn’t telling the GOP what their agenda should be, he simply
wants them to stop using his name when their actions contradict
everything he stood for.

If the GOP would like to continue using his name they have to start
making a significant effort to help the poor and the sick, instead of
the rich, and start promoting a more peaceful agenda.”

When asked about the lawsuit, House Speaker John Boehner made the
following remarks:

“Mr. Christ is entitled to his opinion, however the GOP believes that
the underlying message in the Bible is that giving tax cuts to the
wealthy is the true path to happiness.

I don’t know where Mr. Christ thinks the Bible says to help the poor and
the sick, but that sounds awfully socialistic to me, and we are not a
socialist country.”

The lawsuit goes even further than just spoken word references to Jesus.
According to the suit “images that inaccurately depict Jesus Christ, who
was born in Middle Eastern country, as a Caucasian man with light skin,
can no longer be displayed by political officials who claim they
understand the Bible.”

Sarah Palin was at an event in Iowa today, and on camera, when a member
of the crowd asked how she feels about Mr. Christ’s lawsuit. The crowd
member simply asked her “have you heard that Jesus Christ is suing the
GOP?”, to which former Governor Palin replied:

“Well, ya know, I don’t think Mr. Christ has a real understanding of
what the GOP is trying to do to save America from the socialist
death-spiral Obama has put us into.

In the Bible it states “work hard, and pull yourself up without any
Government aide. If you need help from Caesar you are probably doing
something wrong”, which clearly shows that Jesus wants Americans to
hunker down and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

In the Bible it also states “go to the market and purchase good wares.
Reward merchants with money, and God will smile upon you” which, I
believe, shows that Jesus really wanted us to live in a free-market society.

Don’t forget the story of Noah’s Ark where God commanded Noah to build
an Ark and take everyone except the poor and sickly away from people who
were trying to steal their hard earned Gold.

Also, I’ve read the Bible plenty of times and I’ve never heard him say
we should give welfare and food stamps to lazy people who don’t deserve
it, which is what this Obama Administration is trying to do. They’re
trying to make this country lazy and since Jesus was a man who did quite
a bit of walking I would hope he would oppose such things.

Times have changed and I, for one, believe Christ is just confused and
should probably re-read that most holy of books, the book that so many
good, real Americans swear by, and just see, just really see, if he can
get in there, ya know, and figure out if possibly he might have missed
something. That’s what I would suggest Mr. Christ do.”

The media was quick to point out the many factual inaccuracies in former
Governor Palin’s statement, but she fired back on Fox News today saying
it was a “gotcha question” from the “liberal elite media”.

Mr. Christ’s lawsuit is set to move forward later this month. When asked
if he would also be interested in filing a lawsuit for slanderous
remarks made in the past, Allah declined comment.

http://freewoodpost.com/2011/09/05/j...p-for-slander/
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I'd much rather be a champion of the powerless than a lickspittle of the
powerful.