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The Kern River
 
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Default Challenge to Timmy, If your sponsons are really so good…

Note to everyone but Timmy: While respect the logic and wisdom of the
"let's just ignore this fool" crowd, it also seems to me that he has
caused a fair amount of aggravation to RBP, so turnabout seems the
best reconciliation. Anyway, I am smiling while I write this, and I
hope you are too.

Timmy:

As a whitewater boater, inventor of whitewater products, and marketing
professor, I think I might be able to assist you.

First, you may want to get an updated version of "Marketing for
Dummies." The newer addition clearly states that calling potential
customers of your product "Nazis" is not recommended.

(Queue to Timmy, a response like "so you like killing children?" is
irrelevant but typical and expected at this point.)

Second, my honest evaluation of your product is, big deal. So your
product makes canoes float smoothly on a dead flat lake. So what. If
it were so important to stand in my boat, I would get a raft. And
while you cite 1000's of fatalities of people who cannot keep their
boat upright (a tremendous exaggeration) there are millions of those
who can just fine without your product. Not to say there is zero use
for it, but the alternatives, a kiwi kayak, a wider boat, are very
available, and don't look like I duct taped a couple of blow-up dolls
on my boat as an afterthought. (Did you ever take the training wheels
off of your bike, Timmy?)

In marketing we often refer to "utility" or usefulness. In order for
me to part with my hard-earned money, I have to buy something that
gives me a lot of utility, if it is a new product, more so, I need to
very sure that I cannot live without it. Truly great, and successful,
products are able to do this through demonstrations. Samsonite
luggage demonstrated it's durability by having a gorilla bash the crap
out of it. When I was at OR last week, Watershed bags demonstrated
the tightness of their product by submersing them underwater,
permanently. Now while you claim that sponsons are not intended for
whitewater use. (A bit of a cop-out really, that would be like the
inventor for air-bags whining, "it is not to be used in cars that are
MOVING, so long as everything is stationary, the passenger is safe,
saved by my invention!") What would be quite impressive is if your
sponsons clearly saved a boater from certain doom. There are plenty
of cases where airbags deployed in should-have-been fatal accidents,
and the drivers emerged unharmed. If you are so confident in your
product, and want demonstrate it is better to have a sponsons than
appropriate boat skills, I suggest that secure an open canoe, attach
some sponsons, and ride a rapid that even a highly skilled boater
could not hope to survive. I could suggest several excellent
candidates in Yosemite. Think of the publicity! If you could emerge
unscathed from below Nevada Falls, I would not only eat my words, but
I would buy a sponsons right then and there!

Timmy, this is a challenge. Let's see what you and your sponsons are
made of! A real man would give a time and date and win the argument
once and for all! Can you do that, or will you snivel away from the
challenge with some more Nazi (or similar) diatribe?

I'll bring the camera.

The Kern River
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