This could have been written by Sarah Palin!

Please, take care of yourself this Christmas Season. A recent joint
study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of
Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol
related. This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who
just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, milk, water, and ****
like that. Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They
cause three times as many accidents.