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#1
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![]() MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." |
#2
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On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote:
MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! |
#3
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HarryK wrote:
On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. |
#4
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On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:51:15 -0500, L G wrote:
HarryK wrote: On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. Oh, yeah. It's about a ship, not a boat. Should have realized it'd make your brain stretch beyond capacity. |
#5
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On 11/11/10 9:57 PM, jps wrote:
On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:51:15 -0500, L wrote: HarryK wrote: On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. Oh, yeah. It's about a ship, not a boat. Should have realized it'd make your brain stretch beyond capacity. What about *pirates* who use *small boats* to attack *large boats* could be off topic in a newsgroup about boats? |
#6
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![]() "HarryK" wrote in message ... On 11/11/10 9:57 PM, jps wrote: On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:51:15 -0500, L wrote: HarryK wrote: On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. Oh, yeah. It's about a ship, not a boat. Should have realized it'd make your brain stretch beyond capacity. What about *pirates* who use *small boats* to attack *large boats* could be off topic in a newsgroup about boats? Kruger aka LG, Larry etc considers any civil post as off topic..... whether boats are mentioned or not. If you aren't calling names or trashing someone, he doesn't want to see it. |
#7
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HarryK wrote:
On 11/11/10 9:57 PM, jps wrote: On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:51:15 -0500, L wrote: HarryK wrote: On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. Oh, yeah. It's about a ship, not a boat. Should have realized it'd make your brain stretch beyond capacity. What about *pirates* who use *small boats* to attack *large boats* could be off topic in a newsgroup about boats? The simple fact that this was a fictional piece. You should be familiar with that. |
#8
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jps wrote:
On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:51:15 -0500, L wrote: HarryK wrote: On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. Oh, yeah. It's about a ship, not a boat. Should have realized it'd make your brain stretch beyond capacity. No, it's bull****. Did you really believe it was true? |
#9
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On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:51:15 -0500, L G wrote:
HarryK wrote: On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! Dang...it's still OT. It's definitely on topic. |
#10
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On Thu, 11 Nov 2010 14:55:02 -0500, HarryK wrote:
On 11/11/10 2:36 PM, jps wrote: MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) - In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise ship company, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board Carnival Cruise ships, citing "unsafe working conditions." "If Carnival thinks that it's going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined," said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. "We Somali pirates may be bold, but we're not crazy." The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the giant cruise ship Carnival Splendor "has sent a shiver through the pirate community." "We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with decks bursting into flames," he said. "And don't get me started on the nonfunctioning toilets." When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board Carnival ships in the future, he responded, "I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a Carnival ship of its booty over the holidays, they should make alternative plans." Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for Carnival Cruises, said that the company "would be working overtime to win back the pirates' trust." In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, Carnival would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: "Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno." Dang...you beat me to it! It's not often. |
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