GOP Lawmaker Demands Recall of Car That Drove Him to Gay Club

Calls Gay Car 'Menace'

SACRAMENTO (The Borowitz Report) - Anti-gay California State Sen. Roy
Ashburn today demanded a sweeping recall of the vehicle that drove him
to a gay nightclub this week.

Sen. Ashburn, a Republican who has consistently voted for anti-gay
legislation, said that the car drove him to the club "against my
will."

"If we are recalling cars for problems with their brakes and power
steering, then surely we should be recalling vehicles that force their
drivers to go to gay nightclubs," Sen. Ashburn said.

The state senator said not only did the car drive him to the gay
nightclub, but it forced him to enter the club and party there for
hours, resulting in his later arrest for DUI.

"I can't tell you what a menace this car is," he said. "It really is
the gayest car I've ever seen."

In addition to calling for a recall of the gay car, Sen. Ashburn said
he would sponsor legislation mandating that all California vehicles be
fitted not only with GPS but gaydar.

In other news, former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin offered this appraisal
of her standup comedy performance on The Tonight Show: "I was like,
I'm not going to quit my day job, but then I remembered I already
did."