Reporter: President Clinton, can you comment on the extraordinary
events that led to your ascendancy to the presidency?

President H. Clinton: Presidents Obama’s State of the Union address
where he lambasted the Supreme Court and then started proposing 5 year
plans should have been a clue that something was wrong. President
Obama had never been subjected to the wrath of the press so when
things went sour earlier this year with 12% unemployment, Obama had a
meltdown. I was there when he attacked the nuclear football with a
letter opener muttering it was actually a horcrux containing the soul
of Dick Cheney. Vice-President Biden and I had to restrain him before
he accidently nuked Tehran.

Reporter: That was a frighteningly close call.

President H. Clinton: When President Biden took over after poor Obama
was hospitalized, we thought things would stabilize but it was clear
we were in trouble when Biden told the Marine Band to play “I’m a
Little Teapot” instead of “Hail to the Chief”.
We thought we could sort of pretend Biden was making decisions while
keeping him quiet but when he had that argument in Congress over suing
Disney for either Civil Rights violations or ADD violations in order
to pay for his “stimulus” to Hollywood and he and Pelosi both attacked
each other, they were both charged with assault so here I am.

Reporter: Can you comment on who you would agree with, either Pelosi
wanting to charge Disney with Civil Rights violations over “Uncle
Remus” or Biden wanting ADD violations for Disney naming a mentally
challenged person of lesser stature “Dopey” in Snow White?

President H. Clinton: We are living in perilous times and serious
issues of this kind are tearing our country apart and I promise to do
all I can to bring the two sides together.