Bush Charges $150,000 to Speak; $1.5 Million to Speak in English
Cites ‘Extra Effort' Required

Former president George W. Bush has let it be known that he is available
to speak on the corporate lecture circuit for $150,000 and will be
willing to speak in English for $1.5 million.

Tracy Klugian, Mr. Bush's agent and head of the Ex-Presidential Speakers
Bureau, explained the disparity in fees: "He is charging ten times as
much to speak in English because it requires ten times the effort."

Mr. Bush came to the decision to charge the higher rate for speaking in
English after an appearance in Toronto last week with former President
Bill Clinton, an experience which he found "draining."

"President Bush didn't realize he was expected to speak in English at
the event, since it was in Canada," his agent explained.

Mr. Klugian said that despite the lofty fee, he had already fielded
several offers from corporations who would like to hear the former
President speak in English: "I think it's the novelty factor."

But the President's agent said he has had to politely decline requests
to have Mr. Bush speak in complete sentences: "I tell them, ‘Thanks, but
you can't afford that.'"


From Andy Borowitz, of course.