On 2008-01-11 08:22:47 -0500, BAR said:

Jere Lull wrote:
On 2008-01-09 17:17:11 -0500, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
said:

Drop the kid off at boarding school .. and leave.

The little **** can sit in algebra class while mom and dad are off cruising.

Oh, Gawd! You've definitely demonstrated your incompetence.

Real cruising kids demonstrate far more intelligence. At a minimum,
they know where they are and where they want to be.


What about the social skills they learn when they are in a school with
other students. You can't survive alone in the world you need to know
how to interact with others.

The ones I've known all had better social skills than the stay-at-home
kids who haven't experienced being sociable in international settings,
who have not been in situations where their interactions with others
directly affected their comfort or maybe their chance of survival, who
have never needed to accept real responsibility for their actions.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

A number of years ago, a guy in a town about 10 miles from me, built a big
old boat in his backyard.

When he started, there was an article in the newspaper. The family was
there, his kids were little.
The reporter asked them if they wanted to sail around the world, and they
said yes, they could not
wait to go.

A few years goes by .. another article in the newspaper. The guy was
finally finished with the home
built boat.

The reporter went to do a followup story. And of course, the reporter
wanted to ask the kids how
excited they were to sail around the world.

Guess what? The kids were "busy", they had no interest whatsoever of
sailing around the world.

In fact, they told the reporter that as far as they were concerned, it was a
nutty idea.

The guy got the boat trucked to the seacoast, put in. He used the boat for
coastal sailing when
he could find a crew.

The kids? They all went off to college, lived their lives.

There is nothing wrong with going cruising. In fact, in my opinion it is
wonderful.
But don't kid yourself, your children might not think it is as important as
you do.

For some good reading on a family that cruised together, even as the kids
became adults.
Read some of William F Buckley's sailing and cruising books.

Let the kids live their lives, and if they feel that cruising is what they
want to do,, good for them.
I do believe it is nutty to bring a 15 year old on a boat with mom and dad,
to go off cruising.
Who is the 15 year old going to socialize with? What about stuff like the
school dance, the prom,
clubs, sports, boyfriends, going to camp, going to the beach with friends,
...... can't you see, that
kids need to be with kids so they can grow up, then they can go cruising.






"Jere Lull" wrote in message
news:2008011122182175249-jerelull@maccom...
On 2008-01-11 08:22:47 -0500, BAR said:

Jere Lull wrote:
On 2008-01-09 17:17:11 -0500, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
said:

Drop the kid off at boarding school .. and leave.

The little **** can sit in algebra class while mom and dad are off
cruising.

Oh, Gawd! You've definitely demonstrated your incompetence.

Real cruising kids demonstrate far more intelligence. At a minimum, they
know where they are and where they want to be.


What about the social skills they learn when they are in a school with
other students. You can't survive alone in the world you need to know how
to interact with others.

The ones I've known all had better social skills than the stay-at-home
kids who haven't experienced being sociable in international settings, who
have not been in situations where their interactions with others directly
affected their comfort or maybe their chance of survival, who have never
needed to accept real responsibility for their actions.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

On Sun, 13 Jan 2008 12:11:59 GMT, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
wrote:

Who is the 15 year old going to socialize with? What about stuff like the
school dance, the prom,
clubs, sports, boyfriends, going to camp, going to the beach with friends,
..... can't you see, that
kids need to be with kids so they can grow up, then they can go cruising.

During most of mankinds existence people lived in small villages, or
were members of small bands of nomads, and there were only a handful
of people within walking distance. There might be more people at the
average marina, than the average number of other people met in a
lifetime, throughout most of mankinds existance. The number is higher
today, but so what?

Casady

On 2008-01-13 07:11:59 -0500, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
said:

A number of years ago, a guy in a town about 10 miles from me, built a
big old boat in his backyard.
snip
A few years goes by .. another article in the newspaper. The guy was
finally finished with the home built boat.
snip
Guess what? The kids were "busy", they had no interest whatsoever of
sailing around the world.

Which points out to a primary reason for not home-building a boat: For
all those years, they were *working*, not out and learning the ropes,
building up experience, competence and confidence and enjoying family
bonding.

Let the kids live their lives, and if they feel that cruising is what
they want to do,, good for them.

You would let kids do only what they *want* to do? ;-)

Who is the 15 year old going to socialize with? What about stuff like
the school dance, the prom,
clubs, sports, boyfriends, going to camp, going to the beach with
friends, ..... can't you see, that
kids need to be with kids so they can grow up, then they can go cruising.

Cruisers, particularly those with kids, do *not* live in a vacuum --
always on the hook with no one else around. Kids are pretty much
*everywhere* in the world.

There are kids on other boats and on shore, and ports and marinas are
particularly good places to find responsible local kids -- who are more
than happy to socialize after (and during) work. A quick walk into town
finds the others.

"The beach" is a dink-ride away -- and they'll have a "driver's
license" and the freedom it gives years before the land-bound; they
*are* camping; various games "happen" wherever kids are; water sports
are almost unavoidable. Any place there are people, there will be
dances, socializing, partying, friendships, romances and so forth.
These days, they can even submerge themselves in the Wii/iPod/IM
culture, though such couch-potato things seem to be less appealing to
them with all the *activities* surrounding them. With fewer artificial
time-wasters, they are forced to pay more attention to the people and
places around them and since those things change, it's not the
same-old, same-old boring environment. There's always something new to
get out to see, new people (and kids) to get to know.

My observation of cruising kids at our docks has been that they form
new friendships almost immediately. Because they are periodically
forced to find new friends, they can't fall into the cliques that
inevitably form in static societies, so meet and befriend a wider range
of personality and values.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

Jere,, you and salty.. I could not disagree more.

I work with kids everyday. The last thing they want to do is go cruising
with mom and dad.

Now.. if you told them they could have the boat and to cruising with their
friends?

I shudder to think what the boat would look like after a month...




"Jere Lull" wrote in message
news:2008011311161416807-jerelull@maccom...
On 2008-01-13 07:11:59 -0500, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
said:

A number of years ago, a guy in a town about 10 miles from me, built a
big old boat in his backyard.
snip
A few years goes by .. another article in the newspaper. The guy was
finally finished with the home built boat.
snip
Guess what? The kids were "busy", they had no interest whatsoever of
sailing around the world.

Which points out to a primary reason for not home-building a boat: For all
those years, they were *working*, not out and learning the ropes, building
up experience, competence and confidence and enjoying family bonding.

Let the kids live their lives, and if they feel that cruising is what
they want to do,, good for them.

You would let kids do only what they *want* to do? ;-)

Who is the 15 year old going to socialize with? What about stuff like
the school dance, the prom,
clubs, sports, boyfriends, going to camp, going to the beach with
friends, ..... can't you see, that
kids need to be with kids so they can grow up, then they can go cruising.

Cruisers, particularly those with kids, do *not* live in a vacuum --
always on the hook with no one else around. Kids are pretty much
*everywhere* in the world.

There are kids on other boats and on shore, and ports and marinas are
particularly good places to find responsible local kids -- who are more
than happy to socialize after (and during) work. A quick walk into town
finds the others.

"The beach" is a dink-ride away -- and they'll have a "driver's license"
and the freedom it gives years before the land-bound; they *are* camping;
various games "happen" wherever kids are; water sports are almost
unavoidable. Any place there are people, there will be dances,
socializing, partying, friendships, romances and so forth. These days,
they can even submerge themselves in the Wii/iPod/IM culture, though such
couch-potato things seem to be less appealing to them with all the
*activities* surrounding them. With fewer artificial time-wasters, they
are forced to pay more attention to the people and places around them and
since those things change, it's not the same-old, same-old boring
environment. There's always something new to get out to see, new people
(and kids) to get to know.

My observation of cruising kids at our docks has been that they form new
friendships almost immediately. Because they are periodically forced to
find new friends, they can't fall into the cliques that inevitably form in
static societies, so meet and befriend a wider range of personality and
values.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

Neighbor went aboard his 39' custom with wife and 3 month old kid in
Mexico. 13 years later moved off of boat with 5 children and wife. Kids
decided they wanted to spend high school times with other kids.
Kids were home schooled on the boat and are very well adapted to
life. One is a multiple linguist, Spanish, Japanese, and Polish and I
don't know what else. All have some college and a couple have graduated.
I guess the point is, when push came to shove, the kids wanted to be
on land with their peers at that point in life.
Gordon

"Gordon" wrote in message
...

Neighbor went aboard his 39' custom with wife and 3 month old kid in
Mexico. 13 years later moved off of boat with 5 children and wife. Kids
decided they wanted to spend high school times with other kids.
Kids were home schooled on the boat and are very well adapted to life.
One is a multiple linguist, Spanish, Japanese, and Polish and I don't know
what else. All have some college and a couple have graduated.
I guess the point is, when push came to shove, the kids wanted to be on
land with their peers at that point in life.
Gordon

I also know people who went cruising with and homeschooled their kids.

One couple were teachers on sabatical and they had two boys - one in middle
school and one in 9th grade. But they only did this for ONE YEAR. I think
it was good for the boys, but they did go back to school at the end of the
sabatical year.

One couple did a circumnavigation which took several years with two girls.
But the girls were about 11 and 14 when they came back, and then they went
back to a regular school.

I've also met boat kids who were being homeschooled. The ones who are teens
do suffer from not having peers, as, while there are folks in the marina,
they are usually older. I worried about them WRT whether they would make
inappropriate friendships because there were no age appropriate experiences
available.

My husband was in the Navy, so he moved around a good bit, and by the time
my oldest was in 7th grade, she had been in 7 different schools (and the
second one in 5th grade had been in 5 different schools). It was always
hard for my oldest to switch schools, but I don't think it impacted her
negatively overall. But when it came to teen years and high school, I
stayed put in one place and Bob just commuted back and forth when he was
transferred to another district (In our case, he was at one base in
Maryland from 1973 to 1977, and then went to Crystal City (northern
Virginia) for two years before he retired. So it was possible for him to
commute.)

But although I deplore the language used, I do agree that unless the 15 year
old WANTS to go with her parents on this adventure, I would not do that to
her. I'd find some way to either postpone the trip, or have her remain in
an environment where she could interact with other teens.

On Jan 13, 6:30*am, wrote:

I think that in general, you'll find that cruising kids, just like army brats,
are among the most skilled socializers on the face of the earth.

So taking a 15 crusing is a ggod idea????????????/

Try this............. YOUR parents show up in a 40' motor coach. They
are a "young" pair of early 80s.
They say its THEIR life dream to drive around the US stopping at
various casinos, bingo parlors, fleemarkets, and visit old friends
from their service days in WWll and Korea .

And you are comming.

You cant get out of it.No way! So say good by to your life and now
start living their geezer life style. Sure you love your parents and
it will be just great for the next three years traveling with them.
But you have to remember that THEY are the BOSS and you'll have to do
as they say or else. Now doesnt that sound like a bunch of fun....

Have fun watching Wheel of Fortune and playing bingo!!!! Oh, and dont
for get thoes endless conversations about medications and
operations ! !

Kids, no matter how old are not wanted in our coach. It is set up for the
two of us and anyone wants to visit, I am sure they can find a motel just
down the road.
We are not to our 80's, but do enjoy land cruising as well as the water
cruising.

Leanne


wrote in message
...
On Sun, 13 Jan 2008 12:03:25 -0800 (PST), Bob wrote:

On Jan 13, 6:30 am, wrote:

I think that in general, you'll find that cruising kids, just like army
brats,
are among the most skilled socializers on the face of the earth.

So taking a 15 crusing is a ggod idea????????????/


Step away from the bottle.

Try this............. YOUR parents show up in a 40' motor coach. They
are a "young" pair of early 80s.
They say its THEIR life dream to drive around the US stopping at
various casinos, bingo parlors, fleemarkets, and visit old friends
from their service days in WWll and Korea .

And you are comming.

You cant get out of it.No way! So say good by to your life and now
start living their geezer life style. Sure you love your parents and
it will be just great for the next three years traveling with them.
But you have to remember that THEY are the BOSS and you'll have to do
as they say or else. Now doesnt that sound like a bunch of fun....

Have fun watching Wheel of Fortune and playing bingo!!!! Oh, and dont
for get thoes endless conversations about medications and
operations ! !



step FAR away from the bottle.