On 2008-01-11 08:22:47 -0500, BAR said:

Jere Lull wrote:
On 2008-01-09 17:17:11 -0500, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
said:

Drop the kid off at boarding school .. and leave.

The little **** can sit in algebra class while mom and dad are off cruising.

Oh, Gawd! You've definitely demonstrated your incompetence.

Real cruising kids demonstrate far more intelligence. At a minimum,
they know where they are and where they want to be.


What about the social skills they learn when they are in a school with
other students. You can't survive alone in the world you need to know
how to interact with others.

The ones I've known all had better social skills than the stay-at-home
kids who haven't experienced being sociable in international settings,
who have not been in situations where their interactions with others
directly affected their comfort or maybe their chance of survival, who
have never needed to accept real responsibility for their actions.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

A number of years ago, a guy in a town about 10 miles from me, built a big
old boat in his backyard.

When he started, there was an article in the newspaper. The family was
there, his kids were little.
The reporter asked them if they wanted to sail around the world, and they
said yes, they could not
wait to go.

A few years goes by .. another article in the newspaper. The guy was
finally finished with the home
built boat.

The reporter went to do a followup story. And of course, the reporter
wanted to ask the kids how
excited they were to sail around the world.

Guess what? The kids were "busy", they had no interest whatsoever of
sailing around the world.

In fact, they told the reporter that as far as they were concerned, it was a
nutty idea.

The guy got the boat trucked to the seacoast, put in. He used the boat for
coastal sailing when
he could find a crew.

The kids? They all went off to college, lived their lives.

There is nothing wrong with going cruising. In fact, in my opinion it is
wonderful.
But don't kid yourself, your children might not think it is as important as
you do.

For some good reading on a family that cruised together, even as the kids
became adults.
Read some of William F Buckley's sailing and cruising books.

Let the kids live their lives, and if they feel that cruising is what they
want to do,, good for them.
I do believe it is nutty to bring a 15 year old on a boat with mom and dad,
to go off cruising.
Who is the 15 year old going to socialize with? What about stuff like the
school dance, the prom,
clubs, sports, boyfriends, going to camp, going to the beach with friends,
...... can't you see, that
kids need to be with kids so they can grow up, then they can go cruising.






"Jere Lull" wrote in message
news:2008011122182175249-jerelull@maccom...
On 2008-01-11 08:22:47 -0500, BAR said:

Jere Lull wrote:
On 2008-01-09 17:17:11 -0500, "Sir Thomas of Cannondale"
said:

Drop the kid off at boarding school .. and leave.

The little **** can sit in algebra class while mom and dad are off
cruising.

Oh, Gawd! You've definitely demonstrated your incompetence.

Real cruising kids demonstrate far more intelligence. At a minimum, they
know where they are and where they want to be.


What about the social skills they learn when they are in a school with
other students. You can't survive alone in the world you need to know how
to interact with others.

The ones I've known all had better social skills than the stay-at-home
kids who haven't experienced being sociable in international settings, who
have not been in situations where their interactions with others directly
affected their comfort or maybe their chance of survival, who have never
needed to accept real responsibility for their actions.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

On Jan 9, 2:13 pm, Skip Gundlach wrote:

Call for experienced full time cruising (with/as) homeschooled
teenagers

As a past Medium Security Juvenile Detention Facility (age 12-17)
Group Worker (guard), Oregon Licensed Teacher (K-8), past cruiser now
liveaboard, and good Dad to a daughter now 20 y.o.

Don't take you 15 year old cruising. A couple weeks WITH a friend is
fine. DO NOT think youre going to sail for months and she is going to
love learning geography-marine biology etc and develop a love for all
things you think you love. Besides, helping a kid learn (notice I did
not say "teach") is not a simple task. Try this.......... Go get a manual
titled, "Learn How To Fly". Read the book. Get into an airplane, Now
go take off, fly around and land. Silly analogy????? Then go help a
kid learn about two digit subtraction with regrouping. Or better
yet......... algebra in your case. Just because you have a book (home school
curriculum materials) don't mean its going work. You need to know what
your doing.

In other words, have you ever tried to tile a room, make your first
quilt, etc. Imagine how you ****ed up the first few times and had to
start over again before you got it right???
Now how you going to help your daughter learn algebra or persuasive
writing so they will pass the SATs. You AINT no teacher and your not
the center of your daughters universe. She would LOVE to visit you
with a friend. But 24/7 and no friends???? You got to be kidding. This
is a time when kids are doing their best to become independent adults.
Allow her to do that and stop being so god damn selfish. You are no
longer the center of her universe. SOrry to say they grow up and get
their won life. Give her that chance to grow up and let her stay with
relatives. Or maybe youre thingking "but noone is as good a parent as
me. I cant trust anyone with my daughter for that long." If so you
reall are one sick controlling parent.

At age 15 the most important thing in her life AINT YOU!

Bob

Stacy,
We have been sailing with both our kids, two boys, since each of them were
born. They were two weeks old when they first went sailing and we have
sailed as a family ever since. Today one is in college and the other is
finishing high school.

I think that you are asking a lot from your daughter to leave at age 15 and
move onto the boat with you. The high school years are a time of
socialization for kids and a time that they want to be with there peers and
not with their elders. If you had been sailing as a family for all of her
formative years then your daughter may have continued for another year but
at age 15 or 16 she probably would have talked to you about her staying
ashore for her high school years.

My advice would be to sit out the next few years and when she walks out the
door for college, leap aboard and go. She can visit you for a few weeks
during vacations and she will appreciate the beautiful places that you bring
her for her breaks.

Cheers

Ansley Sawyer
SV Pacem

On Jan 10, 3:12 pm, "Ansley W. Sawyer" wrote:
Stacy,
We have been sailing with both our kids, two boys, since each of them were
born. They were two weeks old when they first went sailing and we have
sailed as a family ever since. Today one is in college and the other is
finishing high school.

I think that you are asking a lot from your daughter to leave at age 15 and
move onto the boat with you. The high school years are a time of
socialization for kids and a time that they want to be with there peers and
not with their elders. If you had been sailing as a family for all of her
formative years then your daughter may have continued for another year but
at age 15 or 16 she probably would have talked to you about her staying
ashore for her high school years.

My advice would be to sit out the next few years and when she walks out the
door for college, leap aboard and go. She can visit you for a few weeks
during vacations and she will appreciate the beautiful places that you bring
her for her breaks.

Cheers

Ansley Sawyer
SV Pacem

Hi, Ansley,

This doesn't do me any good because Stacy can't reply to your
thoughtful comments because I don't have your address to send to her.

Did you copy her directly on that?

L8R

Skip