Larry,
Did you do all the math in your attached theories of Santa? If so me thinks
you have WAY TO MUCH FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS..
Have a happy holiday.
Greg


"Larry W4CSC" wrote in message
...
Leave the TACAN on all night. He's got all the toys.

On Mon, 22 Dec 2003 20:46:25 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

How does Santa find the yacht in the middle of an ocean to deliver
Christmas
cheer.

--
Visit The Arm Chair Sailor
http://www.fullcircle.net


IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?


1. Flying Reindeer
No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of
living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer
which only Santa has ever seen.

2. Children
There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. Since
Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and
Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total--378
million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average rate
of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes, assuming
there's at least one good child in each.

3. Timing
Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he logically
travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second, so
for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of
a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill
the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into
the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these
91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, we
know to be false, but for our calculations we will accept), we are now
talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million
miles, not counting assorted pit stops for relief, feeding, etc. This
means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000
times the speed of sound. In comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle
on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4. Weight
Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego
set (2 pounds), the sleigh's payload is 321,300 tons, not counting
Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land,
conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting
that "flying reindeer" (see above) could pull 10 times the normal
amount, Santa would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload,
not counting the weight of the sleigh, to 353,430 tons.

5. Speed
353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance--this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as
spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer will absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second.
Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously,
exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in
their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subjected to
centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound
Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of
his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

Conclusion
If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

Foundations
This inquiry is based on the premise that there is only one Santa
Claus. The calculations work out more realistically if you assume some
form of parallel processing.
A thousand Santas (1 kilosanta) or a million (a megasanta) or more,
working in parallel, could perform the same number of visits in the
same allotted time with less advanced technology (and fewer vaporized
reindeer).

One Other Point
Who does the air traffic control for a megasanta? A million sleighs
and 12 million reindeer occupy a significant amount of airspace. If we
assume that each reindeer team, sleigh and Santa needs no more than 5
feet of vertical airspace (which, given that known species of reindeer
with antlers are quite nearly five feet tall, leaves very little room
for error), then a megasanta requires almost 947 miles of vertical
airspace. This also disregards the fact that each Santa must make
frequent landings. The airspace at chimney level will be in high
demand and disproportionately crowded, particularly as
Christmas-celebrating households tend to be densely clustered in the
same geographic areas. It seems likely that a megasanta, while perhaps
avoiding vaporized reindeer, would suffer huge casualties from in-air
collisions.

NNNN

Santa's Stressful Christmas....
sent to me by the Elves!

One particular Christmas season a long time ago,
Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ...
but there were problems everywhere.

Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the
toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the
pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This
stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer,
he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had
jumped
the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and
the
toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated,
Santa
went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he

went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the
liquor
and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it
broke
into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to
get
the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door.
He
opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big
Christmas
tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't
it
just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a
lovely
tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas
tree.

Merry Christmas to all....and to all a GOOD NIGHT!
Larry




Larry W4CSC

NNNN

On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:54:10 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

Larry,
Did you do all the math in your attached theories of Santa? If so me thinks
you have WAY TO MUCH FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS..
Have a happy holiday.
Greg

No, Someone sent it to me. It is very interesting in its
reality...(c;


Larry W4CSC

NNNN

On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:54:10 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

Larry,
Did you do all the math in your attached theories of Santa? If so me thinks
you have WAY TO MUCH FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS..
Have a happy holiday.
Greg

No, Someone sent it to me. It is very interesting in its
reality...(c;


Larry W4CSC

NNNN

Yes your right it is at that! It was a pretty good read, Thank you for
posting it.


"Larry W4CSC" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:54:10 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

Larry,
Did you do all the math in your attached theories of Santa? If so me
thinks
you have WAY TO MUCH FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS..
Have a happy holiday.
Greg

No, Someone sent it to me. It is very interesting in its
reality...(c;


Larry W4CSC

NNNN

Yes your right it is at that! It was a pretty good read, Thank you for
posting it.


"Larry W4CSC" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 23 Dec 2003 20:54:10 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

Larry,
Did you do all the math in your attached theories of Santa? If so me
thinks
you have WAY TO MUCH FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS..
Have a happy holiday.
Greg

No, Someone sent it to me. It is very interesting in its
reality...(c;


Larry W4CSC

NNNN

On Wed, 24 Dec 2003 09:53:57 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

Yes your right it is at that! It was a pretty good read, Thank you for
posting it.

Someone told me it came from NASA. THEY have too much time on their
hands.....sitting on them.


Larry W4CSC

NNNN

On Wed, 24 Dec 2003 09:53:57 GMT, "Greg Boyles"
wrote:

Yes your right it is at that! It was a pretty good read, Thank you for
posting it.

Someone told me it came from NASA. THEY have too much time on their
hands.....sitting on them.


Larry W4CSC

NNNN