"Courtney Thomas" wrote in
ink.net:

I have recently come into possession of an analog bag phone and
remember that there has been mention
of this device on several occasions in the past but can't recall it's
merit, if any.

Please refresh my memory.

Thank you,
Courtney




Keep it handy! Unlike that tiny, as I call them, "toyphone" in your
pocket, the old, trust, POWERFUL, 3 watt bagphone with its higher gain
antenna puts out substantially more signal for those emergencies where
you really need to make that call to emergency services.

Every phone, on any service or no service at all, like your bagphone, is
required by law to provide 911 emergency service to the 911 center
nearest its cell tower. You pay for it on your regular cellphone as one
of the damned addon charges they seem to have no limit on adding. Don't
feel guilty the bagphone isn't paying by the month...you are...(c;

Every boat, car and truck should have a cigarette lighter-powered ol'
reliable bagphone stashed away in it somewhere. It never needs periodic
charging as it has no battery. If your's has a battery and a cig plug,
turn the battery in for recycling as we're always going to power it from
the car/boat/truck battery. If you turn off all the loads, like interior
lights in a car, and leave the "dead" car battery set for 5 minutes,
there's plenty of power left in it to make hours of bagphone calls to
911.

I've also, quite successfully, called 611 to the cellphone gods and
schmoozed them into temporarily activating the bagphone so I can make an
important call from their dead zones. "Hello? Ah, there you are! I'm
trying to make a very important phone call, but my little cellphone
"they" told me would work anywhere in the city seems dead. Can you
activate this phone just so I can make calls until I can come in and get
it fixed?" A little begging helps, too. Now on your knees, groveling
pitifully and not blaming them for poor service you know in your heart is
ALL THEIR FAULT, they take pity on you and press a few keys to swap
phones over to the bagphone. You, again, have phone service for the
important calls. Once, I forgot to switch it back for 4 years, enjoying
the notoriety of making calls from a restaurant with it, or having it
RING, a ring that can wake-the-dead as their pitiful little toyphones
never rings loud enough so you can hear it good...(c; After the
important calls, whenever you're ready, call 611 back from the toyphone
and say, "This phone must have been in a dead spot you have on Mulholland
Drive, but it's working fine now.", having called 611 from your toyphone,
not the bagphone. "Can you switch it back? I seems fine, now.",
sounding as much like a complete klutz as you can. The new guy, unaware
of your situation except for the note on your account, will push a few
more keys and your toyphone will be activated, again. Thank him and ask
him why there's no signal for the little phone they want $300 for on
Mulholland Drive to emphasize the point...(c; Never sound like you know
anything. Cellphone employees must NEVER feel you know more than they
do. That's not in the training manual.

--
There's amazing intelligence in the Universe.
You can tell because none of them ever called Earth.