CANADA’S ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION PROBLEM

From -- The Manitoba Herald

September 28, 2010



The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are
prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be
required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.



Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
at night.



"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield ,
whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted
and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range
chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a
chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"



In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers
that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he
said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much
that they wouldn't give any milk."



Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive
them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.



"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single
bottle of imported drinking water They did have a nice little Napa
Valley cabernet, though."



When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps
where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.



In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the
border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to
buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen
young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities
began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about
Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the
'50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.



Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael
Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the
Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How
many art-history majors does one country need?"



In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada ,
Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that
the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close
to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and
Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered
species on postage stamps.



The President is determined to reach out," he said.

On Sep 29, 8:59*am, Gordon wrote:
CANADA’S ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION PROBLEM

*From -- The Manitoba Herald

September 28, 2010

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are
prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be
required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red *Greenfield ,
whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted
and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range
chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a
chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers
that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he
said. "The liberals still got through and Rush annoyed the cows so much
that they wouldn't give any milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons and drive
them across the border where they are simply left to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single
bottle of imported drinking water They did have a nice little Napa
Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about plans being made to build re-education camps
where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the
border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to
buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half- dozen
young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities
began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizens about
Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the
'50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the Michael
Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the
Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How
many art-history majors does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada ,
Vice President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that
the administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close
to President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and
Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered
species on postage stamps.

The President is determined to reach out," he said.

This is too funny. Canada can keep the fools.

On Wed, 29 Sep 2010 07:09:27 -0700 (PDT), Leonard
wrote:

On Sep 29, 8:59*am, Gordon wrote:
CANADA’S ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION PROBLEM

*From -- The Manitoba Herald

September 28, 2010

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols
to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of the Tea Party are
prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be
required to hunt, pray, and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.


The discussion of "illegal immigrants" into the U.S. is humorous at
best, given that the people posting the messages have names such as
Thibodeau, Smith, Koldabski, Knutson, Fabrizzio,Murphy, Lee, and so
on. All good old American names, of course.

Cheers,

Bruce
(bruceinbangkokatgmaildotcom)

Subject

Can we all say "Bigotry"?

Lew

Lew Hodgett wrote:
Subject

Can we all say "Bigotry"?

Lew



It's called "satire".

Gordon wrote:
Lew Hodgett wrote:
Subject

Can we all say "Bigotry"?

Lew



It's called "satire".


So one man's satire is another man's bigotry?


--

Richard Lamb

On Wed, 29 Sep 2010 18:02:22 -0700, "Lew Hodgett"
wrote:

Subject

Can we all say "Bigotry"?

Lew



Sure it is bigotry - a one bunch of immigrants bad mouthing another
bunch of immigrants.

Cheers,

Bruce
(bruceinbangkokatgmaildotcom)

Bruce in Bangkok wrote:
On Wed, 29 Sep 2010 18:02:22 -0700, "Lew Hodgett"
wrote:

Subject

Can we all say "Bigotry"?

Lew



Sure it is bigotry - a one bunch of immigrants bad mouthing another
bunch of immigrants.

Cheers,

Bruce
(bruceinbangkokatgmaildotcom)

Wait a minute! We immigrants legitimately stole this land from the
natives who stole it from some earlier natives etc. So this immigrant
don't want some other immigrant stealing it from this immigrant!
'sides that, the only bad mouthing is coming from this group!
Gordon