Reasons Not to Exercise

* It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add
one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an
additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

* My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 years old now and we don't know where the hell she is.

* The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could
hear heavy breathing again.

* I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't
lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

* I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures
out what I'm doing.

* I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who
annoy me.

* I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

* The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

* If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.

* And last but not least : I don't exercise because it makes the
ice jump right out of my glass.


G