I've recovered enough to type this, I think, and the noise has died down
a little, but they're still pretty spooked.....

I have two parrots, a Yellow Nape Amazon named "Zeke" and a Blue and
Gold Macaw I raised from a 6-day-old chick named "Roger-Roger" (he
picked the name up listening to the 2-meter ham repeater long ago).
They're both pretty vocal during periods of light, squawking at the
squirrels climbing down the oak tree next to their window, etc., warning
of the "squirrel invasion" that happens every morning, right after I put
out the old food out of their cages for the wild animals in the
neighborhood who love it.

It's a beautiful day in Charleston, a beautiful week. Global Warming?
It's 73 on the river at 4PM and I've had the place opened up since I got
home at noon. It's going to be 77F Wednesday! Global Warming? BRING
IT ON!...

So, I'm sitting here sipping a Boddington's minding my own business and
this little sparrow hops up from the steps to the door sill and looks
inside. I froze to see what he would do if left to his own curiosity.
He hopped inside and started hopping around me. The sounds of his
little claws clicking on the tile were the only sounds outside the fans
in the computers. He must have smelled BIRD SEED coming from the parrot
room so off he FLEW through the house to located it. The very instant
he flew into the parrot room, all hell broke loose! The Macaw has the
capability of sounding like one of those public warning horns at a
Nuclear Power Plant, if he's a mind to. The warning horn must have been
heard for blocks! It was deafening! The Yellow Nape was making this
awful growling sound like a lion startled mixed in with his own warning
calls to the Amazon flock. If a bomb went off I wouldn't have heard it.

Of course, this terrified the poor little sparrow into flight, its best
defense, but he/she was too terrified to remember where he/she came in
so the sparrow made it worse by flying around the parrot room a few laps
before ducking out the door into the computer room and spying the open
door with the sun pouring in....making a very hasty exit.

The parrot alarms are self-resetting, but only after the adrenaline rush
is over. I was laughing so hard my stomach has a cramp. The warning
horns eventually died down into several run throughs of their entire
English vocabulary of funny words and phrases mixed with learned cursing
I've caused over the years when my "noise limit" has been exceeded
trying to shut them up. They're still talking to each other and the
Macaw keeps saying, "Way, Way Too Much NOISE!", over and over. Zeke
keeps repeating "NOW WHAT?!" in a loud voice.

They are no longer bored and falling asleep on one foot for their
afternoon nap.....There won't be any nap today....(c;]

...................you had to be here........(c;]

"Larry" wrote in message
...
I've recovered enough to type this, I think, and the noise has died down
a little, but they're still pretty spooked.....

I have two parrots, a Yellow Nape Amazon named "Zeke" and a Blue and
Gold Macaw I raised from a 6-day-old chick named "Roger-Roger" (he
picked the name up listening to the 2-meter ham repeater long ago).
They're both pretty vocal during periods of light, squawking at the
squirrels climbing down the oak tree next to their window, etc., warning
of the "squirrel invasion" that happens every morning, right after I put
out the old food out of their cages for the wild animals in the
neighborhood who love it.

It's a beautiful day in Charleston, a beautiful week. Global Warming?
It's 73 on the river at 4PM and I've had the place opened up since I got
home at noon. It's going to be 77F Wednesday! Global Warming? BRING
IT ON!...

So, I'm sitting here sipping a Boddington's minding my own business and
this little sparrow hops up from the steps to the door sill and looks
inside. I froze to see what he would do if left to his own curiosity.
He hopped inside and started hopping around me. The sounds of his
little claws clicking on the tile were the only sounds outside the fans
in the computers. He must have smelled BIRD SEED coming from the parrot
room so off he FLEW through the house to located it. The very instant
he flew into the parrot room, all hell broke loose! The Macaw has the
capability of sounding like one of those public warning horns at a
Nuclear Power Plant, if he's a mind to. The warning horn must have been
heard for blocks! It was deafening! The Yellow Nape was making this
awful growling sound like a lion startled mixed in with his own warning
calls to the Amazon flock. If a bomb went off I wouldn't have heard it.

Of course, this terrified the poor little sparrow into flight, its best
defense, but he/she was too terrified to remember where he/she came in
so the sparrow made it worse by flying around the parrot room a few laps
before ducking out the door into the computer room and spying the open
door with the sun pouring in....making a very hasty exit.

The parrot alarms are self-resetting, but only after the adrenaline rush
is over. I was laughing so hard my stomach has a cramp. The warning
horns eventually died down into several run throughs of their entire
English vocabulary of funny words and phrases mixed with learned cursing
I've caused over the years when my "noise limit" has been exceeded
trying to shut them up. They're still talking to each other and the
Macaw keeps saying, "Way, Way Too Much NOISE!", over and over. Zeke
keeps repeating "NOW WHAT?!" in a loud voice.

They are no longer bored and falling asleep on one foot for their
afternoon nap.....There won't be any nap today....(c;]

..................you had to be here........(c;]



Not sure why you marked this OT. Parrots are the only accepted bird to be
kept by a pirate.... arrrrrr....


--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

It's a beautiful day in Charleston, a beautiful week. Global Warming?
It's 73 on the river at 4PM and I've had the place opened up since I got
home at noon. It's going to be 77F Wednesday! Global Warming? BRING
IT ON!...


Global warming? Let's see. 20 deg f at 7 am, 28 at 2, couple inches on
the ground with more forecast for Wed. Not expected to get above
freezing the rest of the week.
What the F*** am I doing here? Should be in Mexico, maybe next year!
Gordon in sunny Sequim

"Larry" wrote in message
...
I've recovered enough to type this, I think, and the noise has died down
a little, but they're still pretty spooked.....

I have two parrots, a Yellow Nape Amazon named "Zeke" and a Blue and
Gold Macaw I raised from a 6-day-old chick named "Roger-Roger" (he
picked the name up listening to the 2-meter ham repeater long ago).
They're both pretty vocal during periods of light, squawking at the
squirrels climbing down the oak tree next to their window, etc., warning
of the "squirrel invasion" that happens every morning, right after I put
out the old food out of their cages for the wild animals in the
neighborhood who love it.
snipped interesting story

Since you are a parrot man, Larry, here is a parrot joke somebody just sent
me:-

My New Parrot

Recently I received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with
profanity.
I tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could
think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back.
I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and
put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that I'd hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the
freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and
I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior."

I was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"

Having an African Grey and a Rainbow Lori I can appreciate.

The Lori, having lost his brother, had adopted me and attacks my wife's
feet at every opportunity, drawing blood if she is not fast enough.

The Grey hates me and guards my wife jealously. Since I have become
more "sensitive" to his needs I rarely fall prey to his beak. But he
can still screw me.

I'm down in the basement the other day, the Grey is on a peach near me
and my wife is at the other end of the basement.

She says "Honey."

The Grey says "Yes."

She "Do me a favor."

Grey "Sure."

She "Go up and get the box in the kitchen and bring it down."

Grey "OK."

So I got the box.

"Edgar" wrote in
:

"May I ask what the turkey did?"


One of my favorite phrases I've taught them to say is:

"Be nice, or BE LUNCH!"

Of course, that may be followed by a macaw squawk that can raise the roof,
which is then followed by the same macaw screaming, "QUIET! GODDAMNED
BIRD!"

Living with poultry is a riot for a month or two until you're saturated
with it....then, it's as if the 3 year old with PMS never grows up...for
the rest of your life. Macaws live about 100 years...Amazons 50-75 years.

I'm stuck with them.

Luckily, parrots have an ON-OFF switch! I'll let it go on a while and when
my BP rises to an unacceptable level, I simply throw a very dark blue old
blanket over their cages. Total silence is about 3 minutes away as they
settle in for a nice nap IN THE DARK! DARK is our FRIEND!

As soon as the sun sets and the light goes out in the parrot room, you're
in silence until Oh-Dark-30 when sunlight returns....IF YOU FORGET THE
BLANKETS! It's about sanity.




I used to keep fish but the damned things always died while I was trying to
teach them how to talk..... They also don't perch well....

hpeer wrote in news:4946c4c0$0$5519
:

She says "Honey."

The Grey says "Yes."

She "Do me a favor."

Grey "Sure."

She "Go up and get the box in the kitchen and bring it down."

Grey "OK."

So I got the box.




We had gone out shopping or something back when we were married. My
Yellow Nape, Zeke, was located quite close to the main door, easily in
talking range.

My sister-in-law came over and was too stupid to notice one of our cars
was gone. She rang the bell, and the Nape said, "Hello?" She rang the
bell again and got, "Hello? Hello?" Still standing outside she pounds
on the door and said, "Hello, Hello! Now open the damned
door!".....before realizing who was saying "Hello" to her....(c;] (No,
she's not blonde.)

My Nape also loves ANY electronic sound, the more complex the better. I
raised my wife's daughter since she was six. When she was a teenager,
responsive to Pavlov's dog effect, she'd hear the telephone ringing,
perfectly, including the time between rings. The fact that she was
standing right NEXT to a non-ringing phone was of no clue to her poor,
blonde, 14-year-old brain. Totally under Pavlovian response, she'd grab
the nearest phone, even one that never rang, to answer the calls. Then,
instead of taking responsibility for her mistake, she'd get ****ed at
Zeke for his ringing. Zeke never tired of watching her phone-answering
reaction to his incessant "calls".....

Parrots never forget. Zeke still says several phrases my exwife taught
him in the early 1980's. She's never set foot in the house since 1992.
I bet he'd remember her instantly....

As to attacks, we had a Sun Conure aptly named "Screech". NO MORE
CONURES, EVER! Screech was her bird and would live in her long black
hair if you'd let him. Any time he was on her shoulder, you reached out
your hand towards her AT YOUR OWN RISK of being viciously attacked.
Once she was out of sight, Screech would sit on my shoulder for hours,
pooping on my shirt and picking at my hair/ears/shirt collar with no
aggressive behaviour at all. But you want him OFF YOU before you let
her COME INTO VIEW! Queer Conures, damn!

(Zeke has wheedled his way onto me this evening and has been crawling
around inside and outside my shirt, going through all the pocket lint,
for a while before assuming his favorite position laying upside down
between my legs on his back with feet sticking straight up, pressing
hard on the bottom of my keyboard tray as I type this, wedging his body
down between my legs, his head pointing under the desk into the dark.
He's been there a while, I can hear him snoring disgustingly. As he
falls asleep, his head falls back and hangs down. The blood pressure
must be awful like that. Maybe it makes him high....??)

There is no way, by the way, to "punish" a bird. They simply can't
understand why you're not infatuated with any noise they make or the
paper and wooden piles in their cage bottoms.....

On Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:06:28 +0000, someone posting as Larry purportedly
wrote:


It's a beautiful day in Charleston, a beautiful week. Global Warming?
It's 73 on the river at 4PM and I've had the place opened up since I got
home at noon. It's going to be 77F Wednesday!

Jesus Larry, there has to be something good about living where you do.

--
shut up and run

wordsmith wrote in
m:

Jesus Larry, there has to be something good about living where you do.


Huh? There's 3200 miles of navigable waterways, mostly totally deserted
without a single Florida condo to block the view. Will that count?

How about these neighbors?
http://www.magnoliaplantation.com/
I can row over there....

Larry,

Ya know, I believe there are "bird people" and then there are "not bird
people." You either git it or you don't.

Clearly you "git it." As do I.

That is the best laugh I've had in a couple of days.

Thanks.