Short Wave Sportfishing wrote:

On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 13:59:04 -0500, DSK wrote:

That said, the best answer is really to let somebody else
teach your wife to sail.

All those words for that one gem of wisdom.

One of the best things I did when we were in the process of buying a
sailboat was to talk to my sister who recommended that I take a course
in sailing without my husband. I did that - actually I took 3
courses. One in a Rainbow 23 foot with no engine, one in a Newport 30
(I think), and the third one was a weekend with my husband on a Morgan
45.

In the first (beginner) course, they had a short class work session,
and then we went out in the boats and we each took a turn steering and
sail handling until everyone had mastered each of the skills that were
presented in each lesson. You could do this in 4 sessions - morning
and afternoon Sat and Sunday, but I picked to do it in the morning of
4 successive weekends so I could process the information between each
lesson.

BTW I was already completely comfortable in the water, as in swimming
and I can canoe and row.

My biggest problem was learning to reverse think when I was using a
tiller. I still can't do that, and if I try, I then can't use a wheel
either for awhile. There are some skills that just aren't worth it to
me to learn and that is one of them. Another one is a racing flip
turn and also any kind of diving (as in diving off a diving board - I
love SCUBA and snorkeling, but I just am not coordinated enough to
reliably go into the water head first when I start out standing up on
my feet)

Walt wrote:
OzOne wrote:

On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 14:40:43 -0500, katy
scribbled thusly:


It's probably not that you can't teach anyone but that the way you
teach is not the way she learns. Different people learn in different
ways.


Absolutely
Go here
http://www.vark-learn.com/english/index.asp


I tried it. They say:

"You have a multimodal (VARK) learning preference."

Well, they're close. I have a multimodal (FARK) learning preference.

http://www.fark.com

//Walt

I am a kinesthetic learner....

Just send her to the club house, she will take up with the towel boy ...
soon you will be done with her.

Then you can go sailing with "men" ... big blond men, men with muscles, men
that wear little bathing suits that show their things ,,,,

A jolly ho ho and a bottle or rum ... pass the bree Bruce.


================================================
"DSK" wrote in message
...
wrote:
OK, I admit I am unable to teach someone. Sometimes you explain it
several times and they dont get it. What do you do?

Very very very standard teaching discipline:
1- tell the student what you're going to teach him

check: ask the student to describe in his own words the goal of the lesson

2- teach the student the info & skills needed

check: ask the student to list the necessary info, equipment, & skills
necessary for the task

3- Demonstrate each component skill of the task

check: have the student practice each component skill

4- Demonstrate the entire task under the students direction

5- supervise the student demonstrating the entire task.

It may be desirable or necessary to review any or all steps. Most people
intuitively skip step 1 which is a huge mistake, because the student has
no idea what to focus on.


.... Years ago, I
taught College Physics and my students seemed to think I was good but
that is all abstractions. Teaching a skill is different. I have never
been able to teach my wife to steer a canoe either. I cannot explain
how to do it, I just do it.

I am not saying this to be insulting, but if you can't explain it, then
you don't understand it yourself all that well.


.... Its like explaining how to ride a bike.

Easy to explain, difficult to take the first steps of practice.


Some people really want personal instruction and others just want to be
pointed in the right direction and let them go.

Yep. Different people have different ways of learning.... who'd have thunk
it?!?


Tacking in the channel was like that. How do I tell her "Steer up when
you feel power coming on from the wind and then down a little when it
goes away".

Don't start by letting the student steer. Start by letting the student
hold (not allowed to use the cleat) the mainsheet. Have the student watch
the wind angle and boat's heeling angle, and explain the necessary steps
to keep the boat moving and not heeling too much, until they can do it
with no instruction.

Then let them steer while you trim the sails.

What you're expecting is for your wife to learn about 7 complex
interactions at once. Did you start your physics students on
electrodynamics, and shock them when they made mistakes?

I'd recommend taking a big step backwards... get her to feel relaxed &
comfortable around the water. Just go to a shallow sandy beach for a day
of splashing & fun with some floating toys. Push her along while she's
reclining on an inflatable raft, for example. *Don't* take her out on the
boat and don't even breathe a hint that your goal is to get her to like
sailing. Take as long with this step as necessary, it may be a year of
beach trips, or maybe some canoing! Once she is OK with being on the
water, then sailing might start to seem like fun. Another possibility is
to go out with other people on their boats. That really takes the pressure
off.

That said, the best answer is really to let somebody else teach your wife
to sail. My wife already knew how to sail when we met, the only thing I
have taught her is how to handle a spinnaker. That was over a decade ago,
at one point she was good enough to be recruited as crew for more serious
racers (which she declined politely) and now she thinks she always knew
how to sail with a spinnaker & I never taught her... in fact last time we
sailed together she was telling me how. Doesn't bother me a bit... a long
long time ago I learned to not demand credit, just results!

Fresh Breezes- Doug King

"NE Sailboat" wrote in message
news:jOq8h.5094$d42.320@trndny07...
Just send her to the club house, she will take up with the towel boy ...
soon you will be done with her.

Then you can go sailing with "men" ... big blond men, men with muscles,
men that wear little bathing suits that show their things ,,,,

A jolly ho ho and a bottle or rum ... pass the bree Bruce.


================================================
"DSK" wrote in message
...
wrote:
OK, I admit I am unable to teach someone. Sometimes you explain it
several times and they dont get it. What do you do?

Very very very standard teaching discipline:
1- tell the student what you're going to teach him

check: ask the student to describe in his own words the goal of the
lesson

2- teach the student the info & skills needed

check: ask the student to list the necessary info, equipment, & skills
necessary for the task

3- Demonstrate each component skill of the task

check: have the student practice each component skill

4- Demonstrate the entire task under the students direction

5- supervise the student demonstrating the entire task.

It may be desirable or necessary to review any or all steps. Most people
intuitively skip step 1 which is a huge mistake, because the student has
no idea what to focus on.


.... Years ago, I
taught College Physics and my students seemed to think I was good but
that is all abstractions. Teaching a skill is different. I have never
been able to teach my wife to steer a canoe either. I cannot explain
how to do it, I just do it.

I am not saying this to be insulting, but if you can't explain it, then
you don't understand it yourself all that well.


.... Its like explaining how to ride a bike.

Easy to explain, difficult to take the first steps of practice.


Some people really want personal instruction and others just want to be
pointed in the right direction and let them go.

Yep. Different people have different ways of learning.... who'd have
thunk it?!?


Tacking in the channel was like that. How do I tell her "Steer up when
you feel power coming on from the wind and then down a little when it
goes away".

Don't start by letting the student steer. Start by letting the student
hold (not allowed to use the cleat) the mainsheet. Have the student watch
the wind angle and boat's heeling angle, and explain the necessary steps
to keep the boat moving and not heeling too much, until they can do it
with no instruction.

Then let them steer while you trim the sails.

What you're expecting is for your wife to learn about 7 complex
interactions at once. Did you start your physics students on
electrodynamics, and shock them when they made mistakes?

I'd recommend taking a big step backwards... get her to feel relaxed &
comfortable around the water. Just go to a shallow sandy beach for a day
of splashing & fun with some floating toys. Push her along while she's
reclining on an inflatable raft, for example. *Don't* take her out on the
boat and don't even breathe a hint that your goal is to get her to like
sailing. Take as long with this step as necessary, it may be a year of
beach trips, or maybe some canoing! Once she is OK with being on the
water, then sailing might start to seem like fun. Another possibility is
to go out with other people on their boats. That really takes the
pressure off.

That said, the best answer is really to let somebody else teach your wife
to sail. My wife already knew how to sail when we met, the only thing I
have taught her is how to handle a spinnaker. That was over a decade ago,
at one point she was good enough to be recruited as crew for more serious
racers (which she declined politely) and now she thinks she always knew
how to sail with a spinnaker & I never taught her... in fact last time we
sailed together she was telling me how. Doesn't bother me a bit... a long
long time ago I learned to not demand credit, just results!

Fresh Breezes- Doug King




Years ago, my father in laws yacht club rented some bare boats in Tonga.
One of the guys that my f-i-l gets on his boat, is not big and blond and
muscular, but believed in wearing tiny bathing suit and strutting his stuff.
Plus he thought a single bottle of booze and a 12 pack was enough stock for
a week. Don laughed about the bozo for years.

NE Sailboat wrote:
Just send her to the club house, she will take up with the towel boy ...
soon you will be done with her.

Then you can go sailing with "men" ... big blond men, men with muscles, men
that wear little bathing suits that show their things ,,,,

A jolly ho ho and a bottle or rum ... pass the bree Bruce.



You getting him mixed up with Jax?

" wrote in
oups.com:

There is a lotta "feel" that goes into this that I cannot explain.


Just as you would send your daughter to a good driver training class,
rather than try to teach her how to drive, yourself, and ruining your
relationship with her....wouldn't it be prudent, not to mention a smooth
move to save a marriage, to send the wife to a good sailing school to
learn how to sail?

DO NOT FORCE HER, which will never work. She might not like sailing at
all, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings....any more than you do
because YOU don't like to go shopping for clothes, like she loves.

ONLY if she's truly interested in boats and sailing....should she be
sailing with a crusty old pirate like YOU...shouting orders and cursing
like Captain Blythe from his lofty perch to the slaves on the deck below,
anyways.

(I'm betting she's not interested, never having laid eyes on her.)

Larry
--
Heading out in the morning to retrieve a "few" hundred gallons more FREE
FUEL for the Frybrids. I got enough stored now to run a Hatteras 60 to
Europe!

On Mon, 20 Nov 2006 23:31:23 -0500, Larry wrote:

Heading out in the morning to retrieve a "few" hundred gallons more FREE
FUEL for the Frybrids. I got enough stored now to run a Hatteras 60 to
Europe!

How do you store all of that? Running a big Hatt to Europe could
easily take 9,000 gallons or more.

O'Hara,

Read your "shame and debasement" post and was stunned that you have
failed to train a crew. If you fell overboard everyone might die. I bet your
wife can cook, drive a car, etc. so why can't she sail? Clearly she is
capable of learning stuff.
Rather than trying to analyze and correct your teaching skills send your
wife to a school run by someone with a reputation for competence. The goal
is for her to learn how to sail not for you to learn how to teach.
I'm assuming here that your wife does want to learn how to sail.

Dave M.

David Martel wrote:
O'Hara,

Read your "shame and debasement" post and was stunned that you have
failed to train a crew. If you fell overboard everyone might die. I bet your
wife can cook, drive a car, etc. so why can't she sail? Clearly she is
capable of learning stuff.
Rather than trying to analyze and correct your teaching skills send your
wife to a school run by someone with a reputation for competence. The goal
is for her to learn how to sail not for you to learn how to teach.
I'm assuming here that your wife does want to learn how to sail.

Dave M.

I do not sail with my wife much. I mostly sail single handed where I
use a harness. Even with my wife, I wear an auto-inflatable lifejacket
with personal EPIRB. She simply has little desire to sail.

wrote in message
ups.com...

David Martel wrote:
O'Hara,

Read your "shame and debasement" post and was stunned that you have
failed to train a crew. If you fell overboard everyone might die. I bet
your
wife can cook, drive a car, etc. so why can't she sail? Clearly she is
capable of learning stuff.
Rather than trying to analyze and correct your teaching skills send
your
wife to a school run by someone with a reputation for competence. The
goal
is for her to learn how to sail not for you to learn how to teach.
I'm assuming here that your wife does want to learn how to sail.

Dave M.

I do not sail with my wife much. I mostly sail single handed where I
use a harness. Even with my wife, I wear an auto-inflatable lifejacket
with personal EPIRB. She simply has little desire to sail.


Time to trade it in for a nice power boat. ;-)