For screwing up ASA in the worst possible manner in the history of the
newsgroup, the following "I Am A Complete ****" Awards are given:

First Place: Lady Pilot, for crossposting to the fringe groups that alerted
the pussy army to our otherwise screwed-up newsgroup. In one ill-conceived
move, she has resulted in ASA being bombarded by those who think they defend
free speech, but are nothing short of hypocritical pussies, far more
nefarious than any NetKKKop could ever hope to be. LP truly is deserving of
this award, and hopefully will tape it to her bathroom mirror in order to
remind her of just what a complete **** she is every morning before she goes
off to do whatever she claims she does.

Second Place: Capt. Neal, for supporting LP, and for alias-posting. Of
course we know he's little more than a sock puppet for some
phallicly-challenged would-be sailor, but he's heretofore presented good
trolls and vitriolic posts condemning liberalism and women. While very few
agreed with him, most found him amusing and worth a response. For his
support of the infamous LP and for alias-posting, however, he is deserving
of this award, if only at the penultimate level, in order to demonstrate
that most of us consider him a genuine complete ****.

Third Place: in order to highlight the importance of the two more notorious
awards, a third place will not given this year.

Bull Halsey