Brothers and sisters in Christ, I want you to think very carefully with me
now. I plead with each one of you seated here today to tell me what good has
come of this once great nation since the since post-colonial city-dwelling
liberals got it into their thick, demon encamped skulls to force our True
Christian™ forefathers to free their slaves? You don't have to think too
hard do you? Well, that's an added bonus of being a True Christian™. I'll
tell you what's become of our country since we spat in God's face and
ignored the divine gift of slavery. It's gone downhill ever since. There's
no discipline, there's no order, there's just ten-million little colored
pickaninny children running around the streets with no direction. And
decent folks like us are flipping the bill. They've even got our innocent
little Christian children brainwashed into glorifying the ghetto lifestyle
by wearing backwards hats and hand-me-down trousers! I guess that's how God
punishes a country for electing a homosexual President like Abraham
Lincoln.

This might come across as racist to some ignorant liberals, but I assure
you, it is not. It is just the simple truth. It doesn't take a degree in
theology to see that colored folks have a hard time taking care of
themselves without falling into trouble. You give them money and they spend
it lavishly on fickle things and fall into debt. You give them an education,
and they start riots. What a spot we are in! Leave it to a liberal
homosexual to come up with an idea and let the rest of the world try to sort
it out! We're still feeling the pain, Mr. Lincoln! Thank you very much.

The Bible teaches us that the descendents of Ham (Negroes) were born to
serve, and when you sway from what the Lord says you were born to do, your
life is filled with emptiness. Just look at the colored members of this
church. They are happy people. Not like the dark street Negroes that roam
our cities freely! Why are our black church members so happy? It is because
they follow the teachings of the Holy Bible and work as God instructed their
forefathers to do - in service! Whether it be janitorial, food service, or
grounds keeping - no person can say that the colored servants of Landover
Baptist are not content. I want all of you to stand up there in the fifth
tier of the back balcony. Let's all give them a warm round of applause in
our appreciation of their service. (congregation applauds) You ought to feel
proud now, my Negro friends. Black History Month gives you a false pride,
and that was Lucifer's downfall. What you've got from us here at Landover
Baptist is a Godly pride! A-men.

Thank God every colored person in this world hasn't lost their minds. Thank
God they all haven't bought into this liberal black history bunk! We're not
here to feel sorry for you, and make up silly history stories so you can
feel better about yourself. No sir! But that's what the liberals do! The
democrats patronize you poor black folks so much, they've got you thinking
that Jesus Christ was a Negro! You outta get angry about that! Don't believe
their lies, for they come from pity alone! You are Negroes my friends!
Descendents of the first servant of mankind; Ham, the son of Noah. You
should stand up proud, and know that God recognizes you, and has given unto
you a special calling to serve all mankind. All your history books and
fact-finding missions won't teach you that! No sir! Only the Bible has the
answer you are looking for. You won't know who you are until you embrace
that. You will never know the joy of serving your masters here on Earth
until you learn to obey your Master in Heaven. Glory to God!

And as for this so-called, "Black History Month," it's a load of hooey! What
do you think the liberals will be forcing us to celebrate next? Jew History
Month? Homo History Month? Frankly, my Christian friends, it frightens the
living Hell out of me - and it should YOU!

We have our history book, the Holy Bible. We also have our American History
books as well. And like the Bible, those books don't need to be re-written.
People shouldn't go poking around doing research on insignificant people and
events. If things were important enough to be written down, I believe we can
rely on the eyewitness accounts of the True Christian™ founding fathers of
this Godly nation. It's time to stop rewriting history and start being proud
of the history we have instead of moping around like sad-sack Democrats
after a lost election, trying to stick their noses into places they don't
belong.

The good folks at Landover know the truth!

Amen!