Brothers and sisters in Christ, I want you to think very carefully with me
now. I plead with each one of you seated here today to tell me what good has
come of this once great nation since the since post-colonial city-dwelling
liberals got it into their thick, demon encamped skulls to force our True
Christian™ forefathers to free their slaves? You don't have to think too
hard do you? Well, that's an added bonus of being a True Christian™. I'll
tell you what's become of our country since we spat in God's face and
ignored the divine gift of slavery. It's gone downhill ever since. There's
no discipline, there's no order, there's just ten-million little colored
pickaninny children running around the streets with no direction. And
decent folks like us are flipping the bill. They've even got our innocent
little Christian children brainwashed into glorifying the ghetto lifestyle
by wearing backwards hats and hand-me-down trousers! I guess that's how God
punishes a country for electing a homosexual President like Abraham
Lincoln.

This might come across as racist to some ignorant liberals, but I assure
you, it is not. It is just the simple truth. It doesn't take a degree in
theology to see that colored folks have a hard time taking care of
themselves without falling into trouble. You give them money and they spend
it lavishly on fickle things and fall into debt. You give them an education,
and they start riots. What a spot we are in! Leave it to a liberal
homosexual to come up with an idea and let the rest of the world try to sort
it out! We're still feeling the pain, Mr. Lincoln! Thank you very much.

The Bible teaches us that the descendents of Ham (Negroes) were born to
serve, and when you sway from what the Lord says you were born to do, your
life is filled with emptiness. Just look at the colored members of this
church. They are happy people. Not like the dark street Negroes that roam
our cities freely! Why are our black church members so happy? It is because
they follow the teachings of the Holy Bible and work as God instructed their
forefathers to do - in service! Whether it be janitorial, food service, or
grounds keeping - no person can say that the colored servants of Landover
Baptist are not content. I want all of you to stand up there in the fifth
tier of the back balcony. Let's all give them a warm round of applause in
our appreciation of their service. (congregation applauds) You ought to feel
proud now, my Negro friends. Black History Month gives you a false pride,
and that was Lucifer's downfall. What you've got from us here at Landover
Baptist is a Godly pride! A-men.

Thank God every colored person in this world hasn't lost their minds. Thank
God they all haven't bought into this liberal black history bunk! We're not
here to feel sorry for you, and make up silly history stories so you can
feel better about yourself. No sir! But that's what the liberals do! The
democrats patronize you poor black folks so much, they've got you thinking
that Jesus Christ was a Negro! You outta get angry about that! Don't believe
their lies, for they come from pity alone! You are Negroes my friends!
Descendents of the first servant of mankind; Ham, the son of Noah. You
should stand up proud, and know that God recognizes you, and has given unto
you a special calling to serve all mankind. All your history books and
fact-finding missions won't teach you that! No sir! Only the Bible has the
answer you are looking for. You won't know who you are until you embrace
that. You will never know the joy of serving your masters here on Earth
until you learn to obey your Master in Heaven. Glory to God!

And as for this so-called, "Black History Month," it's a load of hooey! What
do you think the liberals will be forcing us to celebrate next? Jew History
Month? Homo History Month? Frankly, my Christian friends, it frightens the
living Hell out of me - and it should YOU!

We have our history book, the Holy Bible. We also have our American History
books as well. And like the Bible, those books don't need to be re-written.
People shouldn't go poking around doing research on insignificant people and
events. If things were important enough to be written down, I believe we can
rely on the eyewitness accounts of the True Christian™ founding fathers of
this Godly nation. It's time to stop rewriting history and start being proud
of the history we have instead of moping around like sad-sack Democrats
after a lost election, trying to stick their noses into places they don't
belong.

The good folks at Landover know the truth!

Amen!

Amen! Good post!

God created the different races of human beings for a reason.
No man can soothsay God's ways and means; to do so is to blaspheme.
The best than any man can do is fear the Lord and follow his teachings
put forth in the Holy Bible. If God said that descendents of Ham were
to serve, he probably meant to serve God, not man. But even if he said
they were to serve man, does he not say that about all races? But, God
has infinite wisdom and it is not far-fetched to embrace the fact that
He may have created a particular race of men to server and another
to lead. To each race God gives that which is necessary for each
race to function according to its reason for being created. God ordered
things according to His infinite wisdom and mankind should accept
that fact.

Liberals do not accept that fact and are candidates for a one-way
passage through the Gates of Hell if they don't repent of their
arrogant ways before it's too late.

Liberals act as they, themselves, are God and forget they are
God's creation. Rather than trying to supplant God, liberals would do
well to follow God's teachings.

God knows that every race, religion, creed has its share of sinners
and the Gates of Hell stand wide for all sinners whether they be
Caucasian, Negroid, Mongols or even the Red Man. It is my opinion
that God created Hell to house sinners of all races but liberals
will be deemed a race apart and will be housed in the particularly
painful areas of Hell close at hand to the fiery pit of homosexuality. . .
but, that's another story.

Respectfully,
Capt. Neal
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Bob Crantz" wrote in message news
Brothers and sisters in Christ, I want you to think very carefully with me
now. I plead with each one of you seated here today to tell me what good has
come of this once great nation since the since post-colonial city-dwelling
liberals got it into their thick, demon encamped skulls to force our True
Christian™ forefathers to free their slaves? You don't have to think too
hard do you? Well, that's an added bonus of being a True Christian™. I'll
tell you what's become of our country since we spat in God's face and
ignored the divine gift of slavery. It's gone downhill ever since. There's
no discipline, there's no order, there's just ten-million little colored
pickaninny children running around the streets with no direction. And
decent folks like us are flipping the bill. They've even got our innocent
little Christian children brainwashed into glorifying the ghetto lifestyle
by wearing backwards hats and hand-me-down trousers! I guess that's how God
punishes a country for electing a homosexual President like Abraham
Lincoln.

This might come across as racist to some ignorant liberals, but I assure
you, it is not. It is just the simple truth. It doesn't take a degree in
theology to see that colored folks have a hard time taking care of
themselves without falling into trouble. You give them money and they spend
it lavishly on fickle things and fall into debt. You give them an education,
and they start riots. What a spot we are in! Leave it to a liberal
homosexual to come up with an idea and let the rest of the world try to sort
it out! We're still feeling the pain, Mr. Lincoln! Thank you very much.

The Bible teaches us that the descendents of Ham (Negroes) were born to
serve, and when you sway from what the Lord says you were born to do, your
life is filled with emptiness. Just look at the colored members of this
church. They are happy people. Not like the dark street Negroes that roam
our cities freely! Why are our black church members so happy? It is because
they follow the teachings of the Holy Bible and work as God instructed their
forefathers to do - in service! Whether it be janitorial, food service, or
grounds keeping - no person can say that the colored servants of Landover
Baptist are not content. I want all of you to stand up there in the fifth
tier of the back balcony. Let's all give them a warm round of applause in
our appreciation of their service. (congregation applauds) You ought to feel
proud now, my Negro friends. Black History Month gives you a false pride,
and that was Lucifer's downfall. What you've got from us here at Landover
Baptist is a Godly pride! A-men.

Thank God every colored person in this world hasn't lost their minds. Thank
God they all haven't bought into this liberal black history bunk! We're not
here to feel sorry for you, and make up silly history stories so you can
feel better about yourself. No sir! But that's what the liberals do! The
democrats patronize you poor black folks so much, they've got you thinking
that Jesus Christ was a Negro! You outta get angry about that! Don't believe
their lies, for they come from pity alone! You are Negroes my friends!
Descendents of the first servant of mankind; Ham, the son of Noah. You
should stand up proud, and know that God recognizes you, and has given unto
you a special calling to serve all mankind. All your history books and
fact-finding missions won't teach you that! No sir! Only the Bible has the
answer you are looking for. You won't know who you are until you embrace
that. You will never know the joy of serving your masters here on Earth
until you learn to obey your Master in Heaven. Glory to God!

And as for this so-called, "Black History Month," it's a load of hooey! What
do you think the liberals will be forcing us to celebrate next? Jew History
Month? Homo History Month? Frankly, my Christian friends, it frightens the
living Hell out of me - and it should YOU!

We have our history book, the Holy Bible. We also have our American History
books as well. And like the Bible, those books don't need to be re-written.
People shouldn't go poking around doing research on insignificant people and
events. If things were important enough to be written down, I believe we can
rely on the eyewitness accounts of the True Christian™ founding fathers of
this Godly nation. It's time to stop rewriting history and start being proud
of the history we have instead of moping around like sad-sack Democrats
after a lost election, trying to stick their noses into places they don't
belong.

The good folks at Landover know the truth!

Amen!

Bob Crantz plagiarized a hatemonger's sermon:
...
The Bible teaches us that the descendents of Ham (Negroes)
were born to serve,

This particular bit of nonsense always fascinated me because it is not
in the Bible. Although used for 1500 years as justification for the
slavery of Blacks, it was not "the descendants of Ham" that were
cursed in Genesis 10, the end of the Noah story. The first three sons
of Ham are clearly identified as African nations, but it was
specifically the descendants of Ham's forth son, Canaan, that were
cursed to be slaves. And who were they? They were the Canaanites,
who co-existed with with the Hebrews, and for the entire First Temple
period (when Genesis was written) competed for the spiritual attention
of the people.

Indeed, when the prophets say "King So-and-so did what was evil in the
eyes of God" they often meant that the King had endorsed some aspect
of the Canaanite religion. Many of the early stories in the Bible are
veiled references to much later issues - for example, the Golden Calf
incident in Exodus is a reference to the golden calves in a temple in
northern Israel 500 years later.

And yes, I know that the Landover Baptist site is a parody.
Unfortunately, far too many people believe it.

Capt. Neal® wrote:
Amen! Good post!


It was a parody, Neal, a parody!

But, Jeffies, in order for a parody to be entertaining, it must
be based upon the truth . . .

CN


"Jeff Morris" wrote

It was a parody, Neal, a parody!

Unfortunately, the "truth" is the stupidity of the believers.


Capt. Neal® wrote:
But, Jeffies, in order for a parody to be entertaining, it must
be based upon the truth . . .

CN


"Jeff Morris" wrote


It was a parody, Neal, a parody!

"Jeff Morris" blasphemed

Unfortunately, the "truth" is the stupidity of the believers.


Tell that to Satan when you pass through the Gates of Hell.

CN

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

"Jeff Morris" blasphemed

Unfortunately, the "truth" is the stupidity of the believers.


Tell that to Satan when you pass through the Gates of Hell.

I'd rather Rule in Hell... than Serve in Heaven!

CM

"Capt. Mooron" bragged

I'd rather Rule in Hell... than Serve in Heaven!


That goes without saying. You are the king of your
castle in Nova Scotia which is, beyond a doubt, Hell.

CN

i passed thru the gates in central park 2 weeks ago.
does that count for anything?
gf.

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...


Tell that to Satan when you pass through the Gates of Hell.

CN