Too funny... please stop.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Maxprop" wrote in message
nk.net...

"JG" wrote in message

"Maxprop" wrote in message

"JG" wrote in message
We always see some amazing feats of stupidity there. Like the guy and
his crew who couldn't figure out how to grab a mooring line, so he
backed down on the line and wrapped it on his propshaft.

Well, he got the line!

I think he actually considered spending the night that way, but then
thought the better of it and left.

Or the German group who came into Road Town Harbor in the raw, posing
for the myriad cameras. (none were photo-worthy).

Well, what can you expect from Germans on boats. :-)

Grolsch?

Or the clown who didn't understand that the boat already on the mooring
probably didn't want to share it with him.

Now that's a unique notion.

We figure he probably ****ed people off wherever he went. He attempted to
tie a dockline to an occupied mooring ball. Apparently the Brits down
below woke up and came topside when his boat bumped into theirs. One
young man asked, in a very British accent and loud voice, "Wot the fock
are you doing, arsehole??" The guy replied, "Um, I was picking up this
mooring." To which the Brit responded, "Perhaps you noticed it was
already occupied?" It just got funnier.


Or the kids who didn't watch where they're driving the dink, and ran
into a cat on the hook at around 20mph. I could go on.

On a couple of trips ago, we saw a guy trying to pull his Bene 405
backwards with his dinghy which was moored at Cane Garden. Finally, we
couldn't stand it any more and motored over in our dink to see what was
up. Turns out he wanted to watch the sunset from the cockpit, but the
boat was pointed in the wrong direction. So, he uncleated the mooring
from the bow and attached it to the stern, where the mooring line found
itself caught between the rudder and the skeg. He was trying to remove
the tension on the boat, so he could release the line.

Another time we watched an older couple attempt to anchor their
40-something cat in way too small an area between two other boats in
Little Harbor at Peter Island. The guy would motor right up to the boat
ahead and tell his wife to drop the anchor, then pay out rode until he was
almost on top of the boat behind. Dissatisfied with the first two
attempts, he tried again, only this time his wife literally threw the
anchor into the cockpit of the boat ahead. The fireworks that ensued
were worth the price of airfare.

Max

Thought this would be of interest

http://www.nwmangum.com/NavToAnegada.html

read about crossing anchors at bottom of page,
funny considering some of the comments posted here.

GaleB

This is the part I am refering to on the page.
There is more than enough room, so be mindful of others and don't wind up
directly over someone else's anchor. This has happened to us on more than
one occasion. A very large crewed charter catamaran recently sat right off
our bow, less than a boatlength in front of us. This is needless as well as
aggravating.

GaleB

On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 18:24:53 -0800, "JG" wrote
this crap:

We rely on you for your expertise in all matters related to taking it up the
ass.


So you think you're still not good enough? Is that why you practice
so much?





Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!

OzOne wrote in message
...
On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 05:13:50 GMT, "Maxprop"
scribbled thusly:

Another time we watched an older couple attempt to anchor their
40-something
cat in way too small an area between two other boats in Little
Harbor at
Peter Island. The guy would motor right up to the boat ahead and
tell his
wife to drop the anchor, then pay out rode until he was almost on
top of the
boat behind. Dissatisfied with the first two attempts, he tried
again, only
this time his wife literally threw the anchor into the cockpit of
the boat
ahead. The fireworks that ensued were worth the price of airfare.

Max

Can't imagine any "older" woman "throwing" an anchor big enough to
hold a "40-something cat".

Shut up ozone, it's a funny story.

SV

What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain rode.

It makes it impossible to go over the side in the dark of night with a
nice sharp knife to send them on their way . . .

CN

wrote in message ...
This is the part I am refering to on the page.
There is more than enough room, so be mindful of others and don't wind up
directly over someone else's anchor. This has happened to us on more than
one occasion. A very large crewed charter catamaran recently sat right off
our bow, less than a boatlength in front of us. This is needless as well as
aggravating.

GaleB

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain rode.

It makes it impossible to go over the side in the dark of night with a
nice sharp knife to send them on their way . . .

Cripes Cappy.... use a 3 foot bolt cutter. No sweat... one snap and they are
on their way. You should have a pair aboard any well outfitted vessel.

CM

You're the expert Horass.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Horvath" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 31 Jan 2005 18:24:53 -0800, "JG" wrote
this crap:

We rely on you for your expertise in all matters related to taking it up
the
ass.


So you think you're still not good enough? Is that why you practice
so much?





Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!

Well, it's certain Neal would not be able to use his biting wit.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Capt. Mooron" wrote in message
news:0%NLd.91322$Qb.12706@edtnps89...

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...

What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain rode.

It makes it impossible to go over the side in the dark of night with a
nice sharp knife to send them on their way . . .

Cripes Cappy.... use a 3 foot bolt cutter. No sweat... one snap and they
are on their way. You should have a pair aboard any well outfitted vessel.

CM

What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain
rode.

You claim to be an island sailor. Nobody that sails the islands uses anything
BUT an all chain rode. DUH ...... coral!!!
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

I'm bummed out reading this. This is the first year in the last half dozen
that we are not doing the BVI thing. We've always rented cats from TMM also.
Tabago 35, Athena 38, Lagoon 380 and a Belieze 43.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

What did you think about the Lagoon 380?

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...
I'm bummed out reading this. This is the first year in the last half
dozen
that we are not doing the BVI thing. We've always rented cats from TMM
also.
Tabago 35, Athena 38, Lagoon 380 and a Belieze 43.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

If any of you putzes sailed and lived aboard real boats
you would not feel any need to go play sailor on some
stupid tourist trap multi-hull.

Just imagining the gallons of puke you're walking on
should be enough to give any sane person pause. . .

CN


"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message ...
I'm bummed out reading this. This is the first year in the last half dozen
that we are not doing the BVI thing. We've always rented cats from TMM also.
Tabago 35, Athena 38, Lagoon 380 and a Belieze 43.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Transsexuals are a winter sport"

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...
What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain
rode.

You claim to be an island sailor. Nobody that sails the islands uses
anything
BUT an all chain rode. DUH ...... coral!!!

What a load of crap..... they do not all use only chain.
....and you are not permitted to drop anchor on coral! DUH!

CM

On Tue, 1 Feb 2005 11:09:13 -0500, Capt. Neal®
wrote this crap:


What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain rode.

It makes it impossible to go over the side in the dark of night with a
nice sharp knife to send them on their way . . .


Hey! ****ing Moron! Ever heard of BOLT CUTTERS?






Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!

Yeah Right! Like I'm going to swim around a harbor with bolt cutters
that probably weigh twenty pounds.

Next thing you idiots will suggest is an ox-acetylene torch . . .

CN

"Horvath" wrote in message ...
On Tue, 1 Feb 2005 11:09:13 -0500, Capt. Neal®
wrote this crap:


What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain rode.

It makes it impossible to go over the side in the dark of night with a
nice sharp knife to send them on their way . . .


Hey! ****ing Moron! Ever heard of BOLT CUTTERS?

OzOne wrote in message

They make 3' bolt cutters that float ?

Or will those water wings you keep under your shirt keep you afloat?

No... but if you have a clue at all... you slip foam pipe insulation around
the handles and let me tell you... you now have a very light set of 3ft Bolt
Cutters in the water!

CM

OzOne wrote in message

On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 05:13:50 GMT, "Maxprop"
scribbled thusly:

Another time we watched an older couple attempt to anchor their
40-something
cat in way too small an area between two other boats in Little Harbor at
Peter Island. The guy would motor right up to the boat ahead and tell his
wife to drop the anchor, then pay out rode until he was almost on top of
the
boat behind. Dissatisfied with the first two attempts, he tried again,
only
this time his wife literally threw the anchor into the cockpit of the
boat
ahead. The fireworks that ensued were worth the price of airfare.

Max

Can't imagine any "older" woman "throwing" an anchor big enough to
hold a "40-something cat".

It was a Fortress--a large one, but light enough, apparently. Made one hell
of a racket when it landed in the cockpit of the monohull ahead.

Max

OzOne wrote in message

Ahhh ever The American.....you'll believe any story without
considering the facts ;-)

That's why raconteurs avoid Aussies--they stop the story to inquire about
perceived inconsistencies every five seconds. A PITA, I can tell you. g

Max

What a load of crap..... they do not all use only chain.
....and you are not permitted to drop anchor on coral! DUH!

Try to find a boat in the islands that doesn't use an all chain rode for the
primary. As far as dropping on coral goes your anchor may be in the sand but
your 100' rode may be in the coral. Your only "not permitted" in the "park"
areas. Patches of coral are everywhere.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

What did you think about the Lagoon 380?.

We thought it was a nice boat. Then again we think all borrowed $200K + boats
are nice. One inovative feature is the new pass thru from the galley to the
cockpit.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

,If any of you putzes sailed and lived aboard real boats
you would not feel any need to go play sailor on some
stupid tourist trap multi-hull.

It's a vacation party platform. Nothing more nothing less. I'd rather borrow
one for a week than own a Coranado.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

It's galley up or down?

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...
What did you think about the Lagoon 380?.

We thought it was a nice boat. Then again we think all borrowed $200K +
boats
are nice. One inovative feature is the new pass thru from the galley to
the
cockpit.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

Damn right. I wouldn't want to own the cat we rented either, but it was fun
for 10 days.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...
,If any of you putzes sailed and lived aboard real boats
you would not feel any need to go play sailor on some
stupid tourist trap multi-hull.

It's a vacation party platform. Nothing more nothing less. I'd rather
borrow
one for a week than own a Coranado.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

On Tue, 1 Feb 2005 19:40:53 -0500, Capt. Neal®
wrote this crap:


Yeah Right! Like I'm going to swim around a harbor with bolt cutters
that probably weigh twenty pounds.


Why not? I do it all the time.





Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!

On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 11:52:08 +1100, OzOne wrote this crap:

On Tue, 01 Feb 2005 19:30:44 -0500, Horvath
scribbled thusly:

On Tue, 1 Feb 2005 11:09:13 -0500, Capt. Neal®
wrote this crap:


What really aggravates me is when idiots like that use an all-chain rode.

It makes it impossible to go over the side in the dark of night with a
nice sharp knife to send them on their way . . .


Hey! ****ing Moron! Ever heard of BOLT CUTTERS?


They make 3' bolt cutters that float ?

Yeah, but you couldn't use them to cut anything.


Or will those water wings you keep under your shirt keep you afloat?


I know how to swim.





Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...
What a load of crap..... they do not all use only chain.
...and you are not permitted to drop anchor on coral! DUH!

Try to find a boat in the islands that doesn't use an all chain rode for
the
primary. As far as dropping on coral goes your anchor may be in the sand
but
your 100' rode may be in the coral. Your only "not permitted" in the
"park"
areas. Patches of coral are everywhere.

Bull****.... lots of boats use chain and rode combinations. Futhermore...
the coral reefs are protected and not only is it stupid to drop hook
anywhere near coral but it is also forbidden. It's people like you who
damage the reefs due to ignorance in proper anchoring procedures.
It's not only "in the park"... in the BVI's it's everywhere. You are
encouraged to take a mooring or drop hook in suitable bottom conditions... a
coral reef which is proximal enough to snag your rode does not qualify as
suitable bottom.

CM

OzOne wrote in message ...
On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 01:45:42 GMT, "Capt. Mooron"
scribbled thusly:


OzOne wrote in message

They make 3' bolt cutters that float ?

Or will those water wings you keep under your shirt keep you afloat?

No... but if you have a clue at all... you slip foam pipe insulation
around
the handles and let me tell you... you now have a very light set of 3ft
Bolt
Cutters in the water!

CM


Jesus Mooron, that's the smartest thing you've ever posted!

Heh... I've cut several moorings in my time.

CM

It's galley up or down?

Galley up. I don't believe any of the major cat makers do galley down anymore.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

Bull****.... lots of boats use chain and rode combinations.

Whatever you say bud.


S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

Buddy, there ain't no line with coral on one side and sand on the
other...though there is a line with protected coral on one side and unprotected
on the other.

He doesn't get it and there ain't no sense in trying to explain it. He
reads about the Caribbean.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Trains are a winter sport"

"Capt. Neal®" wrote in message
...
If any of you putzes sailed and lived aboard real boats
you would not feel any need to go play sailor on some
stupid tourist trap multi-hull.
Just imagining the gallons of puke you're walking on
should be enough to give any sane person pause. . .
CN

Close. If any of us lived aboard a boat like yours, we couldn't afford to
charter.

John Cairns



"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message
...
I'm bummed out reading this. This is the first year in the last half
dozen
that we are not doing the BVI thing. We've always rented cats from TMM
also. Tabago 35, Athena 38, Lagoon 380 and a Belieze 43.
S/V Express 30 "Ringmaster"
"Transsexuals are a winter sport"

OzOne wrote in message
...
On Tue, 1 Feb 2005 07:38:02 -0500, "Scott Vernon"
scribbled thusly:

Can't imagine any "older" woman "throwing" an anchor big enough
to
hold a "40-something cat".

Shut up ozone, it's a funny story.

SV

Ahhh ever The American.....you'll believe any story without
considering the facts ;-)

I'm pointing my gun towards Australia tonight and firing off a few
hundred rounds. Maybe I'll get lucky.

SV

OzOne wrote in message ...
On Wed, 02 Feb 2005 13:47:50 GMT, "Capt. Mooron"
scribbled thusly:

Heh... I've cut several moorings in my time.

CM

I'm surprised someone hasn't shot you.

Everyone knows I pack and will return fire....

As an aside.... this idiot decided to place his new mooring right next to
mine in Yellowknife Bay. It was so close that both vessels would impact beam
to on their swing radius. I asked him to place it further away but he
insisted that the location was perfect for him and suggested if I was
nervous .. I should pull my established mooring and move it. I just walked
down into the cabin of my boat and waited till he went back to shore to move
his sailboat out to new mooring. I dove over the side with my 3' bolt
cutters and I cut the chain at the base while he was gone. I was toweled off
and enjoying a drink in the cockpit when he returned with his boat... his
mooring ball was drifting out to the lake in the breeze. He paid a diver
[after trying to hire me to replace the chain] to hook it back up... I cut
it agin within 30 minutes of the diver leaving. He showed up again and his
mooring ball was gone... so the idiot drops a hook!!

Now Overproof has a steel toerail.... and the wind was shifty that night....
I woke that night to my boat smacking into his broadside and it seems his
hull got all scratched up. When I got out on deck he was trying to fend my
boat off... wanna know what he said... he yelled at me and told me to move
my boat! I'm on a mooring! He's anchored! I pulled a bottle of rum out....
loaded my Mossburg .12 ga. and told him I would place 8 slugs to his
waterline if he scratched my toerail. I fired a shot into the air and he
pulled anchor and left. Never saw him in the mooring field again!
He belonged to my yacht club.... he eventually fell off his boat when he
was drunk and drowned. He was a Frenchman!

CM



CM

"SAIL LOCO" wrote in message

He doesn't get it and there ain't no sense in trying to explain it. He
reads about the Caribbean.

Oh.. I see... I spend years living, diving and sailing in more tropical
areas than you have ever been to and now you claim to be an expert on reefs
because you charter in the BVI's for a week each year??


CM

OzOne wrote in message

Jesus Mooron, have you ever looked at a chart of a coral area?
Have you ever dived anywhere near coral?

Cripes Ozone... I've dove in more oceans than you have and I can tell you
that it's easy to spot coral outcrops in shallow water. I've worked as a
commercial diver. If you ever sailed the BVI's or Bahamas... you'd know the
regulations regarding anchoring. All overnight areas have moorings and it's
not permitted to drop hook into or around coral reefs. Any idiot who drops
all chain to a coral reef is still in a situation of fouling his chain... I
know since I've been called to dive and untangle quite a few in my time.


Buddy, there ain't no line with coral on one side and sand on the
other...though there is a line with protected coral on one side and
unprotected on the other.

I beg to differ Ozone.... the line is clearly defined... as clearly as the
scope of your rode.


And yes, combination chain and rope is common.

I know... tell Loco

CM

Capt. Mooron wrote in message
news:QAoMd.98761$Ob.70163@edtnps84...
As an aside.... this idiot decided to place his new mooring right next to
mine in Yellowknife Bay. It was so close that both vessels would impact
beam
to on their swing radius. I asked him to place it further away but he
insisted that the location was perfect for him and suggested if I was
nervous .. I should pull my established mooring and move it.

interesting stuff snipped

He was a Frenchman!

That says it all! French yachtsmen, on entering a new anchorage, always
assume that the boat already there has gone in the best place, so they
anchor themselves as near to you as possible even if the rest of the bay is
empty. I have had my anchor rode fouled in this way by a French yacht in an
otherwise empty bay.
Another time, I was alongside the quay in Concarneau. A French motor yacht
came in and could not berth alongside so had to raft outside some other
yachts.
Next day he was hovering around my yacht for a while and then finally asked
me when we were going. I said I was staying until the following day. "But I
want your berth" he said...

That was a good story Unky Moron, tell us another.



"Capt. Mooron" wrote
As an aside.... this idiot decided to place his new mooring right
next to
mine in Yellowknife Bay. It was so close that both vessels would
impact beam
to on their swing radius. I asked him to place it further away but
he
insisted that the location was perfect for him and suggested if I
was
nervous .. I should pull my established mooring and move it. I just
walked
down into the cabin of my boat and waited till he went back to shore
to move
his sailboat out to new mooring. I dove over the side with my 3'
bolt
cutters and I cut the chain at the base while he was gone. I was
toweled off
and enjoying a drink in the cockpit when he returned with his
boat... his
mooring ball was drifting out to the lake in the breeze. He paid a
diver
[after trying to hire me to replace the chain] to hook it back up...
I cut
it agin within 30 minutes of the diver leaving. He showed up again
and his
mooring ball was gone... so the idiot drops a hook!!

Now Overproof has a steel toerail.... and the wind was shifty that
night....
I woke that night to my boat smacking into his broadside and it
seems his
hull got all scratched up. When I got out on deck he was trying to
fend my
boat off... wanna know what he said... he yelled at me and told me
to move
my boat! I'm on a mooring! He's anchored! I pulled a bottle of rum
out....
loaded my Mossburg .12 ga. and told him I would place 8 slugs to his
waterline if he scratched my toerail. I fired a shot into the air
and he
pulled anchor and left. Never saw him in the mooring field again!
He belonged to my yacht club.... he eventually fell off his boat
when he
was drunk and drowned. He was a Frenchman!

CM



CM

"Scott Vernon" wrote in message
...
That was a good story Unky Moron, tell us another.

Now Now... off with you... chores to be done... and If I told you another
.... you'd only get too excited. Now Git!

CM

Scott Vernon wrote:

That was a good story Unky Moron, tell us another.

Indeed it was Scotty! I do believe that Mooron has been fibbing to us about his occupation, he is in fact a fiction writer, he is usually employed by
Penthouse to write letters for the "Forum" section.

Cheers
Marty