Post them if you got them!

Amen!

Bob Crantz

"Bob Crantz" wrote in message k.net...
Post them if you got them!

Amen!

Bob Crantz


The Bull and The Blonde

Two Texas sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to
purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

Upon leaving for another ranch to check on the possibility of buying
a bull, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to
buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides
she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599.
After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a
telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and
says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought
a bull for our ranch." "I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the
brunette only has $1 left.

She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.
After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to
send her the word "Comfortable".

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that
you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out
here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word,
'comfortable?'"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll
read it slowly. "com-for-da-bull".

Pretty funny from a guy who lives where everyone drives around in
full-sized Cadillacs with non-cancelling turn signals and self-riding
brakes.

Someone who can manage 30 bingo cards but is confused by 1 punch card.

And I hear your lottery gives you 6 chances to pick one number between
0 and 9

Joe

"Bob Crantz" wrote in message k.net...
Post them if you got them!

Amen!

Bob Crantz

Here's one that might give you pause. It indicates that liberals might not
have to burn forever on the lava lakes.

Texans in Heaven

Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some
Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on
the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their
robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing
baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to
keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig
feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing."
The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my
children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the Devil."
The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."
The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"
The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."
The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."
After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm
back. Now what was the question?"
The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"
The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."
This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said ,
"I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. Them damn Texans done put out
the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."

On Wed, 19 Jan 2005 23:46:10 GMT, "Bob Crantz"
wrote this crap:

Post them if you got them!

Amen!

Bob Crantz


Do you know how to tell which Texan has the smallest penis?

The one with the largest belt buckle.







Pathetic Earthlings! No one can save you now!

"Bob Crantz" wrote in message
Post them if you got them!

So this Texan walks into a Harvard classroom and says, "'scuse me sir,
where's the library at?"
The Harvard Prof replies, "Here at Harvard University, sir, we do not end a
sentence with a preposition!"
And the Texan replies, "My apologies! Where's the library at, asshole?"

Scout

Scout wrote:
"Bob Crantz" wrote in message

Post them if you got them!


So this Texan walks into a Harvard classroom and says, "'scuse me sir,
where's the library at?"
The Harvard Prof replies, "Here at Harvard University, sir, we do not end a
sentence with a preposition!"
And the Texan replies, "My apologies! Where's the library at, asshole?"

Scout


There's nothing wrong with ending a sentence with a preposition. Or, as
Winston Churchill said when an editor re-wrote his preposition ended
sentence, "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put."

"Jeff Morris" wrote in message
...
Scout wrote:
"Bob Crantz" wrote in message

Post them if you got them!


So this Texan walks into a Harvard classroom and says, "'scuse me sir,
where's the library at?"
The Harvard Prof replies, "Here at Harvard University, sir, we do not end
a sentence with a preposition!"
And the Texan replies, "My apologies! Where's the library at, asshole?"

Scout
There's nothing wrong with ending a sentence with a preposition. Or, as
Winston Churchill said when an editor re-wrote his preposition ended
sentence, "This is the sort of English up with which I will not put."

I agree, sort of.
Scout

The most obvious ... George Bush.

Rick