While I served in the US Navy I should of applied and got 4 purple
hearts myself.

First wound was suffered by a hunk of flying metal cutting into my
leg. Man did it burn... Required 3 stitches. True it was a 8'X10'
plate off steel the crane was moving that the corner stuck me in the
leg, but if I worded my own request I could of called it shrap metal.

second, While cracking a boiled egg, a piece of the shell flew off my
fork and went into my eye. That is for sure a shell fragment, and I
did have to go to medical to get is washed out, and it did scratch my
eye.

Third, During a dangerious diving operation to recover lost Navy gear
(beer) I got my leg cut by an enemy controlled fish. Has I brought my
spear gun I would of shot him in the back as he swam off.

4th Under hostile conditions (it was Hot) i suffered blinding burns to
my eyes while protecting my ship from hostile fire. (I was on welding
watch in the shipyard) I got flash burns.


And I should of gotten a Silver Star for defending my ship against
hostile intruders. While in Hong Kong some teenage enemy combantant
tried to climb up a scuppard to steal classified secret brass
fittings(fire nozzles). Being the hero I am... I selflessly reached
over and smacked his hand with a billyclub as he tried to overtake my
ship, he fell 20 feet to his Red Commie Chinese Junk boat. His
commanding officer (mom) shouted hostile words at me as she speed off
at 2 knots.

And I should of gotten at least a Bronze Star the time I saved the
ship from a raging inferno. Some rags in the paint locker caught fire
due to spontanious combustion. Being the super hero I was with no
regard to my own safety I poured almost half a cold Coca Cola on the
raging inferno and saved the lives of over 1,300 of my shipmates..

Joe
Superhero Veteran of the US Navy
Feel free to Vote for me as President!