Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

While I served in the US Navy I should of applied and got 4 purple
hearts myself.

First wound was suffered by a hunk of flying metal cutting into my
leg. Man did it burn... Required 3 stitches. True it was a 8'X10'
plate off steel the crane was moving that the corner stuck me in the
leg, but if I worded my own request I could of called it shrap metal.

second, While cracking a boiled egg, a piece of the shell flew off my
fork and went into my eye. That is for sure a shell fragment, and I
did have to go to medical to get is washed out, and it did scratch my
eye.

Third, During a dangerious diving operation to recover lost Navy gear
(beer) I got my leg cut by an enemy controlled fish. Has I brought my
spear gun I would of shot him in the back as he swam off.

4th Under hostile conditions (it was Hot) i suffered blinding burns to
my eyes while protecting my ship from hostile fire. (I was on welding
watch in the shipyard) I got flash burns.


And I should of gotten a Silver Star for defending my ship against
hostile intruders. While in Hong Kong some teenage enemy combantant
tried to climb up a scuppard to steal classified secret brass
fittings(fire nozzles). Being the hero I am... I selflessly reached
over and smacked his hand with a billyclub as he tried to overtake my
ship, he fell 20 feet to his Red Commie Chinese Junk boat. His
commanding officer (mom) shouted hostile words at me as she speed off
at 2 knots.

And I should of gotten at least a Bronze Star the time I saved the
ship from a raging inferno. Some rags in the paint locker caught fire
due to spontanious combustion. Being the super hero I was with no
regard to my own safety I poured almost half a cold Coca Cola on the
raging inferno and saved the lives of over 1,300 of my shipmates..

Joe
Superhero Veteran of the US Navy
Feel free to Vote for me as President!

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

Joe wrote:

While I served in the US Navy I should of applied and got 4 purple
hearts myself.


So which incident caused the lobotomy?

--
//-Walt
//
// http://cagle.slate.msn.com/working/040514/matson.gif

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

But, have you budgeted enough money for luxury hotels, five-star
restaurants, and strip-club tabs for at least nine of your old crew? That's
an integral part of the whole fake hero package. Won't work without that.


Joe wrote:
While I served in the US Navy I should of applied and got 4 purple
hearts myself.

First wound was suffered by a hunk of flying metal cutting into my
leg. Man did it burn... Required 3 stitches. True it was a 8'X10'
plate off steel the crane was moving that the corner stuck me in the
leg, but if I worded my own request I could of called it shrap metal.

second, While cracking a boiled egg, a piece of the shell flew off my
fork and went into my eye. That is for sure a shell fragment, and I
did have to go to medical to get is washed out, and it did scratch my
eye.

Third, During a dangerious diving operation to recover lost Navy gear
(beer) I got my leg cut by an enemy controlled fish. Has I brought my
spear gun I would of shot him in the back as he swam off.

4th Under hostile conditions (it was Hot) i suffered blinding burns to
my eyes while protecting my ship from hostile fire. (I was on welding
watch in the shipyard) I got flash burns.


And I should of gotten a Silver Star for defending my ship against
hostile intruders. While in Hong Kong some teenage enemy combantant
tried to climb up a scuppard to steal classified secret brass
fittings(fire nozzles). Being the hero I am... I selflessly reached
over and smacked his hand with a billyclub as he tried to overtake my
ship, he fell 20 feet to his Red Commie Chinese Junk boat. His
commanding officer (mom) shouted hostile words at me as she speed off
at 2 knots.

And I should of gotten at least a Bronze Star the time I saved the
ship from a raging inferno. Some rags in the paint locker caught fire
due to spontanious combustion. Being the super hero I was with no
regard to my own safety I poured almost half a cold Coca Cola on the
raging inferno and saved the lives of over 1,300 of my shipmates..

Joe
Superhero Veteran of the US Navy
Feel free to Vote for me as President!

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

Hahahahaha!!! Good one!!

In article , Walt wrote:
Joe wrote:

While I served in the US Navy I should of applied and got 4 purple
hearts myself.


So which incident caused the lobotomy?

--
Jonathan Ganz (j gan z @ $ail no w.c=o=m)
http://www.sailnow.com
"If there's no wind, row."

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

In article bHV0ZWZpc2s=.d37e278adfa03a8e279bbf206633ef18@109 2346207.nulluser.com,
John Deere wrote:
But, have you budgeted enough money for luxury hotels, five-star
restaurants, and strip-club tabs for at least nine of your old crew? That's
an integral part of the whole fake hero package. Won't work without that.

Where oh where do you right wing wackos get this crap! It's just too
funny! You've got plenty to say about a decorated war hero, putting
him down without a break, but you've got nothing to say about a
sitting president's war record... well, I guess I understand... he
doesn't have one!


--
Jonathan Ganz (j gan z @ $ail no w.c=o=m)
http://www.sailnow.com
"If there's no wind, row."

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

You forgot the mention that you may, or may not have been in
Cambodia, and it may, or may not have been Christmastime.
Don't you remember testifying before Congress that you were
definately in Cambodia? And later not being so sure?

"Joe" wrote

And I should of gotten at least a Bronze Star the time I saved the
ship from a raging inferno. Some rags in the paint locker caught fire
due to spontanious combustion. Being the super hero I was with no
regard to my own safety I poured almost half a cold Coca Cola on the
raging inferno and saved the lives of over 1,300 of my shipmates..

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

OzOne wrote:
Very interesting.....do they not give Purple Hearts for brain damage
caused by venereal disease?


No, it's a civilian award only. You're given the "honor" of being the
Governor of Arkansas for that. The catch is that you have to be from
Arkansas and also be able to spell "Arkansas."

Just kidding. I agree with New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Rodham, smartest
woman in America, who says in her book, "I love Arkansas."

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

Yeah, a liberal state that will vote for Kerry.

In article ,
Dave wrote:
On Thu, 12 Aug 2004 22:22:04 -0000 (GMT), "John Deere"
said:

Just kidding. I agree with New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Rodham, smartest
woman in America, who says in her book, "I love Arkansas."

Pity she couldn't get elected there and had to come to New York where the
electorate is dumb enough to vote for her.

You must really hate NY'ers.

--
Jonathan Ganz (j gan z @ $ail no w.c=o=m)
http://www.sailnow.com
"If there's no wind, row."

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

Some might disagree because the injuries must be caused by enemy action but
in your case you are your own worst enemy so I guess the PHs would be
appropriate. And maybe I will vote for you. I was torn between Al Sharpton
and Jessie Jackson but your record is even better (c:

"Joe" wrote in message
om...
While I served in the US Navy I should of applied and got 4 purple
hearts myself.......

Man did I miss out on a chest full of medals!
 

"John Deere" wrote in message news:bHV0ZWZpc2s=.3bbf0aa0ddb98c821589bb94ca32b6a ...
OzOne wrote:
Very interesting.....do they not give Purple Hearts for brain damage
caused by venereal disease?



I do not know what your Govt will give you OZ, Guess your going to
have to ask them yourself.

Joe



No, it's a civilian award only. You're given the "honor" of being the
Governor of Arkansas for that. The catch is that you have to be from
Arkansas and also be able to spell "Arkansas."

Just kidding. I agree with New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Rodham, smartest
woman in America, who says in her book, "I love Arkansas."