You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .

--your propeller costs more than you mainsail

--your motor costs more to replace than your working sails

--your boat has more hulls than spars

--your boat goes faster under power than under sail

--your stereo is newer than your standing rigging

--your foul weather suit cost more than your binoculars

--your diesel tank holds more than your drinking water tank
and is filled more often

--your dinette table is bigger than your chart table
and is used more often

--you have a built-in microwave oven and a hand-held GPS

--your windlass costs more than your anchors

--your LPG tank(s) have more capacity than your fire extinguisher(s)

--you carry radar but no Coast Pilot, Tide Tables and Tide Current Tables.

--your radar costs more than your chart collection

--your radar is newer than your chart collection

--your steering wheel is bigger than your arm span

--you have more winches than sails

--your engine weighs more than your provisions

--your holding tank gets more use than your **** bucket

--your batteries weigh more than your anchors

--your cabin sole has more varnish on it than your teak flag pole

--your davits are worth more than your dinghy

--your utility bills have more stamps on them than your passport

--your log contains the word "dock" more than the word "anchor"

--you have a driver's license but not a Captain's license

--you think the COLREGS are for the protection of miners

--your CD collection is current but your flares are expired

--your stereo is louder than you loudhailer


S.Simon

Your opinion is worthless.

"Simple Simon" wrote in message
...
You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .

--your propeller costs more than you mainsail

--your motor costs more to replace than your working sails

--your boat has more hulls than spars

--your boat goes faster under power than under sail

--your stereo is newer than your standing rigging

--your foul weather suit cost more than your binoculars

--your diesel tank holds more than your drinking water tank
and is filled more often

--your dinette table is bigger than your chart table
and is used more often

--you have a built-in microwave oven and a hand-held GPS

--your windlass costs more than your anchors

--your LPG tank(s) have more capacity than your fire extinguisher(s)

--you carry radar but no Coast Pilot, Tide Tables and Tide Current Tables.

--your radar costs more than your chart collection

--your radar is newer than your chart collection

--your steering wheel is bigger than your arm span

--you have more winches than sails

--your engine weighs more than your provisions

--your holding tank gets more use than your **** bucket

--your batteries weigh more than your anchors

--your cabin sole has more varnish on it than your teak flag pole

--your davits are worth more than your dinghy

--your utility bills have more stamps on them than your passport

--your log contains the word "dock" more than the word "anchor"

--you have a driver's license but not a Captain's license

--you think the COLREGS are for the protection of miners

--your CD collection is current but your flares are expired

--your stereo is louder than you loudhailer


S.Simon

You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .

Great troll concept, but you should have editted it a bit.

RB

....and you know you're a real sailor when you can hoist canvas, sail your
boat to dock, blind drunk, at 0300hrs... make a perfect walkoff landing
while your buddies are drinking below totally unaware you've done it, pick
up the folks that just called you up on the cell and head off again with
more booze for a cruise around the bay before tying up to the mooring ball.

CM

"Simple Simon" wrote in message
...
| You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .
|
| --your propeller costs more than you mainsail
|
| --your motor costs more to replace than your working sails
|
| --your boat has more hulls than spars
|
| --your boat goes faster under power than under sail
|
| --your stereo is newer than your standing rigging
|
| --your foul weather suit cost more than your binoculars
|
| --your diesel tank holds more than your drinking water tank
| and is filled more often
|
| --your dinette table is bigger than your chart table
| and is used more often
|
| --you have a built-in microwave oven and a hand-held GPS
|
| --your windlass costs more than your anchors
|
| --your LPG tank(s) have more capacity than your fire extinguisher(s)
|
| --you carry radar but no Coast Pilot, Tide Tables and Tide Current Tables.
|
| --your radar costs more than your chart collection
|
| --your radar is newer than your chart collection
|
| --your steering wheel is bigger than your arm span
|
| --you have more winches than sails
|
| --your engine weighs more than your provisions
|
| --your holding tank gets more use than your **** bucket
|
| --your batteries weigh more than your anchors
|
| --your cabin sole has more varnish on it than your teak flag pole
|
| --your davits are worth more than your dinghy
|
| --your utility bills have more stamps on them than your passport
|
| --your log contains the word "dock" more than the word "anchor"
|
| --you have a driver's license but not a Captain's license
|
| --you think the COLREGS are for the protection of miners
|
| --your CD collection is current but your flares are expired
|
| --your stereo is louder than you loudhailer
|
|
| S.Simon
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|

This post bothers you at all
"Simple Simon" wrote in message
...
You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .

--your propeller costs more than you mainsail

--your motor costs more to replace than your working sails

--your boat has more hulls than spars

--your boat goes faster under power than under sail

--your stereo is newer than your standing rigging

--your foul weather suit cost more than your binoculars

--your diesel tank holds more than your drinking water tank
and is filled more often

--your dinette table is bigger than your chart table
and is used more often

--you have a built-in microwave oven and a hand-held GPS

--your windlass costs more than your anchors

--your LPG tank(s) have more capacity than your fire extinguisher(s)

--you carry radar but no Coast Pilot, Tide Tables and Tide Current Tables.

--your radar costs more than your chart collection

--your radar is newer than your chart collection

--your steering wheel is bigger than your arm span

--you have more winches than sails

--your engine weighs more than your provisions

--your holding tank gets more use than your **** bucket

--your batteries weigh more than your anchors

--your cabin sole has more varnish on it than your teak flag pole

--your davits are worth more than your dinghy

--your utility bills have more stamps on them than your passport

--your log contains the word "dock" more than the word "anchor"

--you have a driver's license but not a Captain's license

--you think the COLREGS are for the protection of miners

--your CD collection is current but your flares are expired

--your stereo is louder than you loudhailer


S.Simon

.. "Simple Simon" wrote in message
...
You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .
SNIP



......... you spend more time in a darkened room posting crap on the internet
than out on the boat ??

Sorry, sir, you are misinformed. I post FROM my boat out on my mooring
or while anchored. I have wireless broadband. WE are civilized here in the
good old USA.

S.Simon


"Duncan Heenan" wrote:
........ you spend more time in a darkened room posting crap on the internet
than out on the boat ??

"Simple Simon" wrote in
:

You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .


you're a top-posting **** who spends more time whining in newsfroups than
replanking real boats.


Bertei

On Mon, 18 Aug 2003 02:01:19 GMT, a team of surgeons from
alt.sailing.asa removed the following benign growth from Bertie the
Bunyip:

"Simple Simon" wrote in
:

You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .


you're a top-posting **** who spends more time whining in newsfroups than
replanking real boats.

Amen.

--
PJR :-)
mhm34x8

"Simple Simon" wrote in message ...
You know you're NOT a REAL SAILOR when . . .

SNIP

Your keel is shorter than your tiller.

or perhaps,

Your keel look like an anvil.

SK