"Wilbur Hubbard" wrote in message
anews.com...
Cleverly hidden within this post, for added incentive to read onward, is
one lie. Not a lie of statistical or grammatical error but a ludicrous
falsehood at once so absurd as to strike the reader as an insult to human
intelligence and yet so insane as to convince the reader that I could
hazard a guess and say that Mr. Joe Sevenseassinbad's favorite prissy,
antihumanist screeds will talk about you and me in terms that are not fit
to be repeated. Without going into all the gory details, let's just say
that Sevenseassinbad doesn't use words for communication or for exchanging
information. He uses them to rabble rouse, to incite, to mislead, and to
deceive. There's something I've observed about him. Namely, he may not
know how to encourage dissent. He obviously knows how to alter, amend,
abridge, and censor the record to point the finger of responsibility at
others.

He still believes his absurd rescue was necessary and prudent when nothing
could be further from the truth. I've further observed that
Sevenseassinbad believes that responsibility and chickening out are
identical concepts. Although it is perhaps impossible to change the
perspective of those who have such beliefs, I wish nevertheless to build a
coalition of stouthearted people devoted to stopping Sevenseassinbad's
unjustified rationalization of failure as success.

Yes, the extent of collaboration between Sevenseassinbad and obsessive
liberal thinkers is currently unknown but presumably significant, but here
is the point that is worth considering: It's debatable whether he can see
the forest for the trees. However, no one can disagree that we have a
choice. Either we let ourselves be led like lambs to the slaughter by
Sevenseassinbad and his subalterns or we make Sevenseassinbad's ludicrous
seamanship understood, resisted, and made the object of deserved contempt
by young and old alike. While I don't expect you to have much trouble
making up your mind you should nevertheless consider that Sevenseassinbad
takes things out of context, twists them around, and then neglects to
provide decent referencing so the reader can check up on him. He also
ignores all of the evidence that doesn't support (or in many cases
directly contradicts) his position that trying is such a great
accomplishment.

Sevenseassinbad knows that performing an occasional act of charity (school
supplies to Belizeans) will make some people forgive -- or at least
overlook -- all of his flagitious shortcomings. My take on the matter is
that it will not be easy to make him admit to his blatant screw-ups.
Nevertheless, we must attempt to do exactly that for the overriding reason
that Sevenseassinbad plans to discredit legitimate voices who speak of
safe and sane seamanship. Giving him rein will result in an amalgam of
nasty charlatanism and subversive liberalism if such a monster can be
imagined.

Let me give you an important hint: When trying to understand what
Sevenseassinbad is up to, look at what he is doing and what he has done.
Don't let yourself be distracted by the patter and the hand-waving; keep
your eye on the shell that has the pea under it. And focus your mind on
the fact that I must part company with many of my peers when it comes to
understanding why Sevenseassinbad lives in a world of privileged,
self-inflated emotion devoid of any connectable empirical dots. My
professional seaman peers warrant that it would be a strategic blunder of
epic proportions for Sevenseassinbad to get away, Scott free with his
pitiful excuses for the inexcusable. While this is doubtlessly true, I
maintain we must add that most people react to his insolent and arrogant,
empty-headed ipse dixits as they would to having a pile of steaming pig
manure dumped in their companionway. Even when they can cope, they resent
having to do so. Speaking of resentment, Sevenseassinbad is the picture of
the insane person on the dock, babbling to a seagull, a piling, or a dock
box which cannot and does not respond to his rantings and ravings.

Sevenseassinbad claims that prudent seamanship interests can and should be
sidestepped whenever his unprofessional personal interests are at stake. I
respond that I, speaking as someone who is a consummate, licensed
professional with an unblemished record and thousands of sea miles under
my keel, am ashamed to admit that I live on the same planet and sail the
same seas as he. Unfortunately, there is no shortage of individuals and
organizations, many of whom may seem innocent at first glance, who
secretly want to inexperience and ineptitude for bona fide voyaging
expertise. It's possible that Joe is morally debased and has no
convictions of right or wrong. However, I cannot speculate about that
possibility here because I need to devote more space to a description of
how my professional stance is more than just a moral stance. It is the
consensus of society on our minimum standards of behavior, not to be
confused with imagined norms based on total lack of self-esteem.

Once we have absorbed and understood Sevenseassinbad's mindless
wisecracks, it is our inescapable responsibility to do whatever is
necessary to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action.
Sevenseassinbad's tricks are dodgy. They're unnecessary. They're
counterproductive. Whenever I encounter them I think that ignorance is
bliss. This may be why Sevenseassinbad's legates are generally all smiles.

While Sevenseassinbad and other sanctimonious twerps sometimes differ on
the details and scale of their imaginary voyages they never fail to agree
on the basic principle and substance that someone or something outside
their control is always to blame for their failings. Hence, it is
imperative that you understand that even when he isn't lying,
Sevenseassinbad's using facts, emphasizing facts, bearing down on facts,
sliding off facts, quietly ignoring facts, and, above all, interpreting
facts in a way that will enable him to substitute speculation for facts
does us all a grave disservice. Still, we shouldn't jump to conclusions,
even though it is a known fact that his shenanigans are an icon for the
deterioration of the professional seamanship, for its slow slide into a
rescue me when I get frightened mentality.

Sevenseassinbad has only one goal: to turn responsible sailing upside-down
so that the dregs and wannabes on the bottom rung become the step on the
top. It is quite true, of course, that the communicative efficacy of his
connection with obtuse storytellers will cause reprehensible,
uncompromising analphabetics to generate an epidemic of abandonments and
founderings before the year is over.

It is therefore clear that Sevenseassinbad seizes every opportunity to
shift blame from his own shortcomings to those who suffer from them. I
cannot believe his colossal clownishness. Any sane person knows that I'm
sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Sevenseassinbad's snow jobs.
It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you
that every so often you'll see me lament, flog myself, cry mea culpa for
increasing society's cycle of non-PC and lack of brotherhood.

Sevenseassinbad presents himself as a professional captain with years of
experience. He is eloquent in his denunciation of classic seamanship,
claiming it outdated in this day and age of the village rescuing the lost
wanderer. And here we have the ultimate irony because he makes it sound
like he knows 100% of everything 100% of the time. That's the rankest sort
of pretense I've ever heard. The reality is that Sevenseassinbad is still
going around insisting that it's okay for him to indulge his every whim
and laughable failed business venture without regard for anyone else's
safety or for society as a whole.

Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that whenever there's
good advice offered by his betters that he should heed that advice, not go
off half-cocked to his near destruction. I remain confident that he will
keep ignoring those who seek to keep him safe. This should settle the
argument that he is deserving of such concern pretty quickly. I believe
that Sevenseassinbad will indeed impose a particular, imaginary,
continuously re-embellished version of history to rationalize his
humiliation and failure at a simple commercial venture. I base this
confident prediction on, among other things, the fact that he ought to
realize that the most valuable of all sailing tenets is that a captain of
the ship's word is law but the word needs to be based upon more than some
weenie, imagined competence. Unfortunately, Sevenseassinbad tends to utter
so much verbiage about "it was outta my control" that I can conclude only
that some people have said that his attitudes, opinions, and aspirations
are forged by a desire to introduce, cultivate, and encourage moral rot.
Maybe. But I'm more inclined to believe that only the impartial and
unimpassioned mind will even consider that Sevenseassinbad avoids, because
he is soft, choices that lead him down a path of pain and suffering.
Imagine that! What real seaman never suffered pain and suffering. Why, we
take it all in stride. We don't yell, "UNCLE" and broadcast a Mayday!

In closing let me be brief. Examine with care what Joe has wrought. Do the
opposite. You will then be guaranteed a successful voyage.

Yours in abiding concern,
Wilbur Hubbard


Damn brilliant and entertaining!