I took liberty to add a modicum of reality to your post....

"Capt. Rob" wrote in message

No, my ability to time an incoming burger was my weapon. At 6'3 225 lbs
I was a small bouncer, but I had really good speed for any size burger and
knew how to tie up an attack of Big Macs and get it out the door.
My best weapon was knowing how to calm people down and earn my pay of a
double CheeseBurger an hour.

Bobsprit... what's your personal capsize ratio? At what angle does your pear
shaped body reach critical heel?? 21 degrees?
You should give serious consideration to a pair of Dan Wesson .454 SuperMags
in balanced belt holsters worn low to drop the CG and face it... you're way
too fat to outrun a mugger these days! Start Packin' like a man... walk
tall!

CM