Walk a mile in that lady's son's shoes, or mine, before you pass judgment

Been there, done that, still doing that....and we were the ones that had to
press the decision, just like your family did, to choose the nursing home
over the possibility;ity of her burning herself and others to death (she
would walk away from the stove and forget it was on...her daughter's
solution was to unplug the stove so then she blew up 3 microwaves in a
month...) Guilt...over doing what is right and best, and BTW, what's right
and best is oftentimes not what the person has desired at all, is wasted
effort and self-flagellation. Rather feel that even though his spirits were
down, he was in a safe, controlled environment. Mr. Sails mom ended up
suffering terribly because of his sister's stubbornness. She broke her leg
to such a degree that she can never walk again and has been wheelchair
bound...she had to have three surgeries to put it back together again...we
had pressed for a safer environment than the independent living place she
was in for a year, to no avail....when you are close to a situation, it is
hard to stay objective...Clancy's sister is still in denial and won't accept
that her mother has Alzheimer's...has tried to have them decrease her
Nemenda (which at least keeps her stable). Yes, we have walked that mile,
and several more, so I know whereof I speak.

--
katysails
s/v Chanteuse
Kirie Elite 32
http://katysails.tripod.com

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea." - Robert A. Heinlein



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