email from my daughter.

Okay, this is a little long, but it is the perfect way to manage anger.
you must read this to the end.
MP

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and
you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it
out on someone you know, take it out on someone you
DON'T know!

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone
call I'd forgotten to make.

I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris .
Could I please speak with Robyn Carter ?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear
'Get the right f*** ing number!' and the phone was
slammed down on me.

I couldn't believe that anyone could be so
rude.
When I tracked down Robyn 's correct number to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the
last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the
'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled
'You're an asshole!' and hung up. I wrote his
number down with the word
'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk
drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell,
'You're an asshole!'
It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic asshole calling would have to stop.

So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is
John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling
to see if you're
Familiar with our Caller ID Program?'
He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That's
because you're an asshole!' and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull
into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into
the spot I had patiently waited for.
I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.

I noticed a 'For Sale' sign in his back
window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the
first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought
that I'd better call
The BMW asshole, too.

I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for
sale?'
He said, 'Yes, it is.'
I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see
it?'
He said, 'Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in
Fairfax .
It's a yellow ranch house, and the car's
parked right out in front.'

I asked, 'What's your name?' He said,
'My name is Don Hansen .'

I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you,
Don ?'
He said, 'I'm home every evening after
five.'

I said, 'Listen, Don , can I tell you
something?'
He said, 'Yes?'
I said, ' Don , you're an asshole!'

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed
dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to
call.

Then I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, 'You're an asshole!'
(But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, 'Are you still there?'
I said, 'Yeah.'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
I said, 'Make me.'
He asked, 'Who are you?'

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen .'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd ,
in Fairfax , a yellow ranch house, I have a black Beamer
parked in front.'

He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don .
And you had better start saying your prayers.'
I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared,
asshole,' and hung up.

Then I called Asshole No. 2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hello, asshole .'
He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you
are...'
I said, 'You'll what?'
He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well , asshole, here's your
chance. I'm coming over right now.'

Then I hung up and immediately called the police,
saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and
that my gay lover was
On his way over to kill me.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war
going down on Oaktree Blvd. In Fairfax .

I quickly got into my car and headed over to
Fairfax . I got there just in time to watch two assholes
beating the crap out of each
other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news
helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

Anger management works.

On Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:26:27 -0700, "Calif Bill"
wrote:


I said, 'My name is Don Hansen .'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd ,
in Fairfax , a yellow ranch house, I have a black Beamer
parked in front.'

That should be "Bimmer" asshole.
(-:

--Vic

Vic Smith wrote:
On Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:26:27 -0700, "Calif Bill"
wrote:

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen .'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd ,
in Fairfax , a yellow ranch house, I have a black Beamer
parked in front.'

That should be "Bimmer" asshole.
(-:

--Vic


What a waste of money...a house in Fairfax (Virginia?), and a BMW
automobile. :)

Now, a BMW motorcycle...that's a horse of a different color.

"hk" wrote in message
.com...
Vic Smith wrote:
On Tue, 19 Aug 2008 20:26:27 -0700, "Calif Bill"
wrote:

I said, 'My name is Don Hansen .'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd ,
in Fairfax , a yellow ranch house, I have a black Beamer
parked in front.'

That should be "Bimmer" asshole.
(-:

--Vic


What a waste of money...a house in Fairfax (Virginia?), and a BMW
automobile. :)

Now, a BMW motorcycle...that's a horse of a different color.


Could be Fairfax, Calif.