McCain Makes Historic First Visit to Internet
Will Spend Five Days at Key Sites

In a daring bid to wrench attention from his Democratic rival in the
2008 presidential race, Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) today embarked on an
historic first-ever visit to the Internet.

Given that the Arizona Republican had never logged onto the Internet
before, advisors acknowledged that his first visit to the World Wide Web
was fraught with risk.

But with his Democratic rival Barack Obama making headlines with his
tour of the Middle East and Europe, the McCain campaign felt that they
needed to "come up with something equally bold for John to do,"
according to one advisor.

McCain aides said that the senator's journey to the Internet will span
five days and will take him to such far-flung sites as Amazon.com, eBay
and Facebook.

With a press retinue watching, Sen. McCain logged onto the Internet at
9:00 AM Sunday, paying his first-ever visit ever to Mapquest.com.

"I can't get this [expletive] thing to work," Sen. McCain said as he
struggled with his computer's mouse, causing his wife Cindy to prompt
him to add that he was "just kidding."

Having pronounced his visit to Mapquest a success, Sen. McCain continued
his tour by visiting Weather.com and Yahoo! Answers, where he inquired
as to the difference between Sunnis and Shiites.

Sen. McCain said that he had embarked on his visit to the Internet to
allay any fears that he is too out-of-touch to be president, adding that
he plans to take additional steps to demonstrate that he is comfortable
with today's technology: "In the days and weeks ahead, you will be
seeing me rock out with my new Walkman."


Swiped in its entirety from my favorite comic writer, andy
borowitz...www.borowitz.com