Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

Now you know I'm retired, and a little eccentric, and on impulse, I told
her no, I didn't have a dog -- I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I said I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time I
tried it. I lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out most of my orifices and had IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to
load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time
you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to
try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a
car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Harry, you might get a lot of people to try this at Wal-Mart.


--
John H