Shamefully OT
 

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

Now you know I'm retired, and a little eccentric, and on impulse, I told
her no, I didn't have a dog -- I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I said I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time I
tried it. I lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out most of my orifices and had IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to
load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time
you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to
try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a
car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard!

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Harry, you might get a lot of people to try this at Wal-Mart.


--
John H

Shamefully OT
 

"John H." wrote in message
...

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

snip..
John H

Full of the same c*ap wherever you go eh? And I thought it was just here.
Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than Purina.

Shamefully OT
 

"JimH" wrote in message
...

"Don White" wrote in message
...

"John H." wrote in message
...

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

snip..
John H

Full of the same c*ap wherever you go eh? And I thought it was just
here.
Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.


John seems very uptight lately and needs to take this holiday season to
chill out. I hope he takes my advice as he seems to be headed for a heart
attack if he keeps it up.

I doubt it. He's too grumpy to leave early. Can you imagine him five or
ten years from now?
His wife will be sending him on Disney cruises by himself.

Shamefully OT
 

On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:02:22 -0500, "JimH" wrote:


"Don White" wrote in message
.. .

"John H." wrote in message
...

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

snip..
John H

Full of the same c*ap wherever you go eh? And I thought it was just here.
Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.


John seems very uptight lately and needs to take this holiday season to
chill out. I hope he takes my advice as he seems to be headed for a heart
attack if he keeps it up.


Uh, JimH, I'm not the one that can't recognize a joke!
--
John H

*Have a Super Christmas and a Spectacular New Year!*

Shamefully OT
 

On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 18:17:24 -0500, "JimH" wrote:


"JG2U" wrote in message
.. .
On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 17:00:18 -0500, "JimH" wrote:


"John H." wrote in message


Uh, JimH, I'm not the one that can't recognize a joke!
--
John H

Why is it that all your true stories later become *jokes*.

Take some time to chill.


Are you seriously saying that you haven't heard this joke before? It's
been around a *long* time.


What I am seriously saying is that I trust John when he says *I* did or
tells a story about himself in the first person and take him seriously. He
is an honest person and I believe that he would not make up a story about
himself. I also have no doubt that he could have been involved in such a
story based on his recent need to chill out.

If a joke started based on his experience so be it as it is pretty funny.



Oh, JimH. I should have gone through and changed the 'I's' to something to
make it more plain for you. As you are the only one who seems to
misunderstand, I'll try to send you a heads up from now on!
--
John H

*Have a Super Christmas and a Spectacular New Year!*

Shamefully OT
 

wrote in message
...
On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:36:05 -0400, "Don White"
wrote:

Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.

Why? is there a problem with Purina? That wasn't one of the recalled
brands


Although our breeder started us of on the 'Puppy Pro Plan, it didn't agree
with our dog and the better animal stores here recommend other brands such
as Nutri Source.

Shamefully OT
 

Don White wrote:
"JimH" wrote in message
...
"Don White" wrote in message
...
"John H." wrote in message
...
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

snip..
John H
Full of the same c*ap wherever you go eh? And I thought it was just
here.
Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.

John seems very uptight lately and needs to take this holiday season to
chill out. I hope he takes my advice as he seems to be headed for a heart
attack if he keeps it up.

I doubt it. He's too grumpy to leave early. Can you imagine him five or
ten years from now?
His wife will be sending him on Disney cruises by himself.



Nice attack, Don.

Your son will be dumping your colostomy bag overboard if you coerce him
with a new video game and beer.

Shamefully OT
 

Don White wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:36:05 -0400, "Don White"
wrote:

Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.
Why? is there a problem with Purina? That wasn't one of the recalled
brands


Although our breeder started us of on the 'Puppy Pro Plan, it didn't agree
with our dog and the better animal stores here recommend other brands such
as Nutri Source.



Fantastic!

Shamefully OT
 

"Dan" wrote in message
...
Don White wrote:
"JimH" wrote in message
...
"Don White" wrote in message
...
"John H." wrote in message
...
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for our dogs at
Walmart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

Did she think I had an elephant?

snip..
John H
Full of the same c*ap wherever you go eh? And I thought it was just
here.
Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.

John seems very uptight lately and needs to take this holiday season to
chill out. I hope he takes my advice as he seems to be headed for a
heart attack if he keeps it up.

I doubt it. He's too grumpy to leave early. Can you imagine him five
or ten years from now?
His wife will be sending him on Disney cruises by himself.

Nice attack, Don.

Your son will be dumping your colostomy bag overboard if you coerce him
with a new video game and beer.

At least we'll have family around to care for us. I imagine yours will do
their best to distance themselves from your smelly effluent.

Shamefully OT
 

"Dan" wrote in message
...
Don White wrote:
wrote in message
...
On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 15:36:05 -0400, "Don White"
wrote:

Anyone who loves their dog probably would buy something better than
Purina.
Why? is there a problem with Purina? That wasn't one of the recalled
brands


Although our breeder started us of on the 'Puppy Pro Plan, it didn't
agree with our dog and the better animal stores here recommend other
brands such as Nutri Source.

Fantastic!

You should try some. might help that perpetual constipation condition.